Thursday, May 26, 2011

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

While everyone else is gearing up for the big summer movie season, the big news around here is actually the announcement that every Thursday in June is Drive-In Double Features days on Turner Classic Movies. We’re talking movies like Tarantula, Attack Of The 50 Ft Woman, Queen of Outer Space, and many more, including a few choice Godzilla flicks. It’s just… (sniff) just… (sniff, sniff) I’m sorry, please forgive me. I promised I wouldn’t tear up when passing on this news. Just give me a moment…

Okay, I’m back. You know, as long as we’re mentioning summer blockbusters, we may as well point you to some reviews for the first one out of the gate, the big screen debut of Marvel Comic’s Thor. While the critics reactions have been mixed, the audiences have for the most part taken quite a liking to it. And the religious reaction to Thor has been pretty positive, as well. For a good sampling, take a gander at the reviews to be found at Spiritual Popcorn, The American Catholic, and Speculative Faith.

Thor is actually the only movie I’ve seen in theaters so far this year, and for me, the old school comic book approach to the story more than compensates for the movie’s flaws. The universe Thor inhabits is one where fathers are strong and wise, bad decisions have bad consequences, and women, though equal in brain and brawn to men, are treated like the ladies they are (unlike, say, the feminist approved ‘pervert whores’ taken to task by Sci-Fi author John C. Wright.). What a breath of fresh air. It might be a few years before my 8 year old is allowed to watch the latest Batman and Iron Man movies, but I’d pop in a DVD of Thor for him without thinking twice.

Which reminds me, over at the Catholic News Agency, professional musician Dan Lord has some suggestions of his own about choosing movies for your kids. Based on his criteria, I would guess taking the tykes to see the recent sex comedy Bridesmaids is out of the question. That being said, Allison from YIMCatholic still managed to find some thought provoking questions amidst all of the naughty hijinks and gross out moments one would expect from a movie made by the producers of Knocked Up. Alas, Tom Hoopes at CatholicVote.org finds no similar wisdom in actress Keira Knightley’s comments on adultery made during an interview for her latest film Last Night. But don’t worry, even if the latest round of chick flicks is letting you down, you can always revisit some old quality chick TV. Take Joe Wetterling, host of The Baptized Imagination, for instance, who recently pondered the wisdom of Buffy The Vampire Slayer’s rebound vamp Spike as he explains why the “Blood is life, lack brain.”

Now ladies, just because a lot of the links this time around were for you, don’t forget the men in your lives. With Father’s Day just around the corner, you might be looking for a special gift for that guy who has everything. Well, may we suggest a nice bottle of Crystal Lake Wine (probably not appropriate for use in mass) or perhaps some Han Solo Frozen In Carbonite Ice Cube Trays?

Well, why you’re making your mind up about that, I’ve got to get busy with more blog goofiness. So see you next time.

COMING ATTRACTIONS: BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

In case there’s still some of you out there who weren’t aware, I take requests for reviews, many of which come in the form of challenges. Of course, that can result in something of a mixed bag. Requests have brought us everything from Santa Claus Conquers The Martians to Satisfaction to I Spit On Your Grave. That’s a pretty wide range of (questionable?) tastes. But even so, there’s still lots of different kinds of movies out there I’ve never touched on. So it was no surprise a few weeks back when an email arrived suggesting that perhaps I was playing it safe and avoiding some of the darker corners of the cult movie universe, that maybe it was time I dealt with… Russ Meyer.

Fair enough, but which one of his movies to review? Obviously, about 80% of Meyer’s oeuvre is automatically disqualified for being nothing more than soft porn. I got some standards, after all. So after going through the list, I narrowed it down to three. Now while Mudhoney contains every theme typically associated with Meyer, there’s really not much to it, so I passed. Trashmeister John Waters called Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! the best movie ever made, and it is the very definition of a cult movie, but after watching it again, I actually found it pretty tame compared to the rest of the director’s output and I don’t think that’s what the requester was going for. So that pretty much left me with Beyond The Valley of the Dolls, the first collaboration between Russ and Roger Ebert.

It goes without saying this is one review that won’t be for the kiddies. Wish me luck.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

4D MAN

4d10

THE TAGLINE

“He Walks Through Walls Of Solid Steel And Stone... Into The 4th Dimension!”

THE PLOT

After burning down his own lab during an attempt to create a device which would allow the user to pass through solid matter, the brash and brilliant young scientist Tony Nelson shows up at his big brother Scott’s lab for help. The equally brilliant (yet not so brash) elder Nelson, who is in the process of perfecting a metal which is virtually impenetrable, happily hires on his sibling as an assistant. All seems to go well for awhile, but Scott’s mental stability begins to crumble after the credit for the super-metal Cargonite is all but stolen by his corporate sponsor and his fiancĂ© Linda begins to have feelings for Tony. Consumed with bitterness, Scott breaks into his little brother’s locker and steals the younger scientist’s experiment in hopes of discrediting it. After all, there’s not much use in inventing an impenetrable metal if your brother invents a machine that can pass through it. Much to Scott’s shock however, his singularly unique brainwaves (an unfortunate side effect caused by the radiation from his own experiments) are the key to activating the machine, and he succeeds in developing the ability to to become intangible. Unfortunately, there is a terrible cost to his success. Scott quickly discovers that the energy required to change his physical state causes his body to rapidly age and the only way he can regenerate is to suck the life force from someone else, a process which proves immediately fatal for the victim. As Scott sinks deeper into madness and the bodies begin to pile up, it becomes apparent to Tony and Linda that they have to devise some method of stopping the man they both still care for. But how do you stop someone you can’t even touch?

THE POINT

Wow, who wrote this thing, Sigmund Freud? I mean, seriously, you’ve got a young studly scientist working on a device that can penetrate anything. And then you’ve got his older repressed scientist sibling whose invention involves the inability to be penetrated. Let me tell you, 4D Man is not so much a movie with implied subtext as it is a movie which hits you over the head with symbolism with all the subtlety of Wile E. Coyote getting a boulder dropped on his skull. Did I mention that Tony tests his penetrating machine by trying to thrust a long wooden pencil into an iron block? Exactly. One shudders to think what a director like Ken Russell would have done with this material.

Still, considering the director of 4D Man was Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr., it’s amazing the Freudian stuff made it onto the screen at all. According to Gary Westfahl’s Biographical Encyclopedia of Science Fiction Film, Yeaworth was “the son of an ordained minister (but never a minister himself, despite some accounts)… He first achieved a modicum of prominence in the 1950s as the head of a small Pennsylvania company, Valley Forge Films, producing noncommercial short subjects on religious themes; he had also by this time been credited as the producer and director of The Flaming Teen-Age (1956), an obscure teen exploitation movie with a devotional spin. One of his works must have been pretty impressive, for it inspired New York producer Jack H. Harris to invite Yeaworth to direct a cheap science fiction film for general release. In response to this odd opportunity, the devout Yeaworth surely prayed earnestly for divine guidance, and the Lord, once again displaying His infinite wisdom, advised him to accept the assignment.” That ‘cheap science fiction film’ turned out to be a little flick called The Blob, which immediately creeped and leaped its way into movie history and made a star out of its then unknown lead, Steve McQueen.

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Having been pretty much guaranteed a chance to direct a second film due to the blockbuster success of The Blob, Yeaworth next turned to 4D Man, another cheap science fiction film based on ideas suggested by Jack H. Harris’ 13 year old son (um, the walking through walls and such, not all of that penetration subtext, at least I hope not). Unable to secure Steve McQueen for a second go around due to the actor’s rising price tag, the filmmakers instead turned to a couple of more then unknowns in Robert Lansing and Lee Meriwether. And again they struck gold. While former Miss America and future Catwoman Meriwether holds her own in what could have easily been a throwaway role as “the girl”, it’s Lansing who is the standout. He may be no McQueen, but he’s spot on in the role of the elder Nelson brother, both in the beginning when he’s all work and no play, and later on when he’s anything but a dull boy.

And it’s a good thing they chose some real actors, because cheap or not, the story kind of requires them. These characters aren’t your usual broadly played 1950s mad scientist types accidentally unleashing giant tarantulas and other such things on the world (not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you). Instead, they’re more like real people who show up at the lab everyday to do some R&D in hopes of producing something useful whilst also finding a way to turn a profit for their bosses. (Sorry, folks, but only a miniscule percentage of real scientists are actively working on things which could turn us all into mutants. Darn it.) And unlike the happy go lucky teenagers of The Blob, these are flawed adults, sometimes admirable and sometimes a-holes. Tony is genial and genuinely concerned about his older brother’s feelings, having stolen a woman from him once before. But he’s also reckless (hey, how many labs have you burned down) and, let’s face it, not very resistant once Linda really starts coming on to him. And as for Linda, she’s intelligent and truly admires Scott, yet is pretty quick to throw herself at another man when he turns out to be a younger, hunkier, and, you know, more capable of penetrating things version of her betrothed.

4d04

But again, it’s Lansing as Scott who makes the movie. Like any good monster, he’s both sympathetic and frightening. You feel both his awkwardness and frustration in scenes like the one in which he comes upon his fiancĂ© and brother sunbathing by a lake, and the pair immediately jump up and hurriedly begin putting clothes on over their bathing suits, almost as if Scott had stumbled upon them doing something else (which I’m pretty darn sure is just the association the movie wants you to make). But you also equally feel Scott’s creepy pent up lust and desire for control in scenes like the one in which he passes through the walls of Linda’s bedroom, gets mere inches from her face, and alternates between angry utterances and threats of a fatal kiss. Just the way he looks at Linda tells you he’s having major flashbacks to that experiment of thrusting a long wooden pencil into an iron block.

Which makes it sound like all 4D Man is about is the psychosexual undercurrent running throughout the narrative. But that’s not really the case. Kids can watch the movie and never notice any of that icky Freudian stuff. All they’ll see is a solid sci-fi outing about a guy who goes nuts and runs through (literally) the city taking what he wants and sucking the life out of people. And for grownups who’d prefer more palatable subtexts besides the main character’s sexual hang-ups to choose from, there are plenty of those as well. For instance, Scott’s condition can easily be seen as an allusion to the all-consuming bitter circle of drug addiction as he must kill to feed his power, but must evoke his power to kill, therefore using up more power and forcing him to find more people to kill. And in the conceit that it is only Scott’s unique brainwaves which can fully trigger the experiment, one could even find slight nods to Nietzche’s concept of will to power. Scott is the only one with the willpower to make the machine work, but it is a Nietzchean will, one that aims not at God or truth or absolute goodness, but rather one that is just a meaningless exercise to its own end. That being the case, it can ultimately lead to nothing but sorrow for all involved.

4d08

But probably the most interesting subtext which plays out in the movie is the paradoxical nature of the brother’s competing experiments. You see, for all intents and purposes, Scott is developing an immovable object while Tony is inventing an irresistible force. There’s even a line of dialog in the movie in which Scott recognizes this age old paradox and notes what a fitting allegory it is for the relationship between him and his brother. Which is kind of ironic, because as adherents to the scientific method, it’s most likely that both Scott and Tony would reject the whole notion of a true immovable object or irresistible force. That’s because the laws of physics would demand an immovable object to have infinite mass, which ain’t happening, while an irresistible force would require infinite energy, which ain’t possible.

Or is it? You see, the question of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object belongs more to the fancy of the philosopher rather than to the natural scientist’s study of observable phenomena. It’s the kind of self contradictory musing that goes all the way back to at least the 3rd century B.C. when the Chinese philosopher Han Feizi asked what would happen if a spear which could pierce all shields was used against a shield that could deflect all spears. A more entertaining version of the paradox comes from ancient Greek mythology in the form of the Teumessian fox, a giant beast that the gods decreed could never be caught. Tired of having the children of his city eaten by the creature, Creon of Thebes set loose the mystical dog Laelaps, whom the gods had blessed with the ability to catch anything it chased. Freaked out over the possible universal repercussions of such an impossible meeting, Zeus simply dodged the question and turned both animals to stone before they hooked up.

4d11

But ultimately, the only variation of the question to be of any real consequence is the one that’s come to be known as the omnipotence paradox, which basically asks, “Could an omnipotent God create a stone so heavy that He couldn’t lift it?” A number of atheists love this question because it would seem that either way you answer it, yes or no, you inevitably deny some aspect of God’s omnipotence. It’s a good enough question to have vexed a lot of people over the centuries, from Thomas Aquinas and Augustine, who both argued for certain understandings of omnipotence that differ from the one addressed by the question, to modern philosophers who speculate that there are different levels of omnipotence, to C. S. Lewis, who dismissed the asking of the question as utter nonsense to begin with. It’s all interesting, if sometimes convoluted, reading. And it may be a case of some people being too smart for their own good. Because, really, the simplest answer to the question might just be, “Yes, an omnipotent God could create a stone so heavy that He couldn’t lift it, because He already has.”

This solution is sort of hinted at in the finale of 4D Man (which I’m about to massively SPOIL), in which a mortally wounded Scott attempts to escape capture by passing through his own giant block of impenetrable metal, only to die halfway through. As film editor and movie critic Glenn Erickson observantly notes, “Since Scott's 4D existence is an unsustainable paradox, it is fitting that his godlike powers be neutralized by the collision of the two halves of his split personality: When the sexually charged 4D power stolen from Tony ("... When an irresistable force, such as you...") plunges back into the 'impenetrable' Cargonite that represents Scott's life-negating sterility ("... meets an old unmoveable object like me .."), the issue is resolved. Like Cronenberg's BrundleFly, Scott becomes one with his creation.” The final image we are given in 4D Man is of the irresistible force and immovable object becoming one and the same thing. And in a somewhat similar fashion, that is how God has answered the omnipotence paradox. Through the Incarnation, God became all at once a God who created the stone and a God who couldn’t lift it.

4d18

To accept this answer, of course, you have to accept the orthodox belief in who Jesus is as expressed in the Creed we say at every mass. Altogether now. “I believe in one God, the Father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible. I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God, born of the Father before all ages. God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father.” And yes, that’s the brand spanking new translation using the word consubstantial instead of the now defunct “one in being”. But as Russell Shaw explains, “The current translation to the contrary notwithstanding, “being” and “substance” aren’t the same thing. Being means “existence.” And while one trembles at the challenge of trying to say in a few words what “substance” means as a term in metaphysics, it signifies something like the unique, singular identity of a thing.” Or as the Catechism puts it, “The unique and altogether singular event of the Incarnation of the Son of God does not mean that Jesus Christ is part God and part man, nor does it imply that he is the result of a confused mixture of the divine and the human. He became truly man while remaining truly God. Jesus Christ is true God and true man.”

So God the Father made all of the stones, and God the Son can’t pick some of them up, even though they are in fact one and the same. (Yeah, yeah, I know Jesus gave us the beautiful symbolism of a faith that can move mountains, but nowhere does the New Testament describe Him juggling boulders in His spare time.) When you get right down to it, the answer to the omnipotence paradox, just like everything else… is Jesus. Who, now that I think about it, also had quite a bit to say about guys who spend too much time thinking about penetrating things. But that’s another post for another time.

THE STINGER

The Incarnation is just one of the many paradoxes we Christians contemplate all of the time. As Fr. John A. Hardon explained, “Christianity is the religion of paradox: that God should be human, that life comes from death, that achievement comes through failure, that folly is wisdom, that happiness is to mourn, that to find one must lose, and that the greatest are the smallest. What is paradoxical about the mysteries of the faith is that reason cannot fully penetrate their meaning, so that what seems contradictory to reason is profoundly true in terms of faith.”

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

THINGS TO COME: GONE WITH THE POPE

Well, here’s something a little different for you. This is the one sheet for a never released until now 1970s gangster flick that has been making the rounds on the festival circuit thanks to the efforts of Grindhouse Releasing, the self-proclaimed “undisputed leader in quality exploitation”.

gonewithpope

Now, unlike the other movies I’ve mentioned on Things To Come in the past, there’s a good chance I’m not even going to watch this when and if it ever makes it to DVD. In fact, the trailer up on YouTube is so full of profanity and nudity that I’m not even comfortable linking to it here. So why bring it up at all? Well, for a few reasons.

First off, the movie was written, directed by, and stars Duke Mitchell, whom you might remember as the crooning half of the Dean Martin/Jerry Lewis lookalike duo from Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla. How you go from aping Dean Martin to helming flicks like this one and Massacre Mafia Style (which is noted as a direct influence on Quentin Tarantino) is a story I’d like to read sometime.

Then there’s the plot descriptions I’ve read which are so ludicrous that it’s fun just talking about the film, even if I never do see it. The main storyline revolves around the efforts of ex-con Paulie and three of his prison cronies who sail to Rome with the intention of kidnapping the Pope, partly for the money and partly as revenge for the past crimes of the Church. They manage to do so, but while being held captive, His Holiness succeeds in converting Paulie’s three pals, and then talks Paulie into just letting him go. The movie ends with Paulie lighting a candle in a church on Christmas Eve at the Pope’s request, and experiencing some kind of supernatural event which may or may not signal his redemption. All of that actually makes me want to watch the movie, but alas, some of the questionable subplots I’ve read about, including one involving the world’s most obese hooker, will probably keep me away. Still, it’s interesting that the movie appears to, in it’s own sleazeball way, acknowledge the saving grace of God. Just imagine if Scorcese ever had the guts to to make a mob movie like that.

And finally, there’s the whole conceit of the ransom which Paulie demands. For the safe return of the Pope, he wants one dollar from every Catholic in the world (although he’s willing to drop it to fifty cents so as not to burden all of the impoverished Chinese). That’s almost brilliant. In the latest edition of the Annuario Pontificio, or pontifical yearbook, which was released in February 2011, the Vatican estimates that approximately 1.18 billion people (1 out of every 5 on the planet) are members of the Catholic Church. So even if you only collected half a buck from each Catholic, you’d still be set for life. Sure, it’s a ridiculous plot premise (how in the world is one lone criminal supposed to collect 50 cents from 1.18 billion people anyway), but it does point out some of the potential power inherent in the Church. Just think about it. 1.18 billion people with the combined capacity to change the world, not through acts of violence, but through the active turning of their wills towards the good of their fellow man, a good accomplished mostly through service. It’s really breathtaking when you take the time to mull it over.

Now if only someone could figure out how to get those 1.18 billion people to actually do that all at once. Probably easier to collect the 50 cents.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

SHORT FEATURE: DRIVING THIS ROAD UNTIL DEATH SET YOU FREE

One of the nice things about having an 8 year old son is that I still get to play with action figures on a regular basis. Last week he alternated us between Star Wars (in which “one of the best characters ever” Ahsoka got a Nikto padawan, much to the disgust of Anakin and Obi Wan who thinks she’s too young to do anything by herself) and Imaginext (in which The King and Batman have been stuck trying to figure out why the cats won’t stop laughing and how to stop the giant bag snake from knocking over the entire village). This week he’s switched us back to my old box full of D&D miniatures (wherein “THE DWARF” is still trying to find a place to relax away from his three Kobold stooges and an Owlbear who thinks it’s a rooster. Oh, just in case you didn’t know, Pees-A-Piddy-Pye is apparently Elvish for Cock-A-Doodle-Doo). It’s great, it’s like living in an episode of Axe Cop for two hours a day.

Now if you don’t happen to have a child running around your home to provide you with a convenient excuse to drag out your old toys, there’s still a way you can do so without being accused of succumbing to extended adolescence. Just turn on a camera, move the figures around a bit, add some some music and, voila, you’re not playing… you’re being artistic and creative. Take, for example, this video for the Zombie Zombie song, Driving This Road Until Death Set You Free…

Okay, so after watching that, the first thing that came to mind was, wow, Zombie Zombie must really like John Carpenter (and they do, as this CD proves). But the second thing was to wonder if a grown man should really be getting such a kick out of this kind of stuff? After all, there is that famous quote from 1 Corinthians 13, “When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.”

Fortunately, that verse isn’t really addressing the issue of men who play games with their children, or even men who keep the occasional toy on their own desks. (Just for the record, I prefer not to think of my six inch tall Godzilla as a toy, but rather as a symbol of my individuality and my belief in personal freedom. Or, wait, maybe I’m thinking of Nick Cage’s snakeskin jacket in Wild At Heart.) That particular passage, while full of meaning on its own, is actually the coda for the even more famous first part of 1 Corinthians 13 which goes “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”

You see, while Jesus himself said “unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven” (meaning we are to humbly accept the guidance and admonishments of our trustworthy Father), He also expects us to develop a love for others that grows in strength and maturity. And how do we know if our love is mature? Well, one of the oldest tricks in the book is to take that first part of 1 Corinthians 13 and replace every occurrence of Love with our own names. I am patient, I am kind, I am not jealous, etc. If we can’t do that without thinking “Yeah, I’m so sure!”, then we’ve still got some childish things to put aside. And, mercifully, those things have nothing to do with the occasional action figure that ends up on our desks or shelves.

Which is a relief, because if they ever become available for sale again, I am so getting one of these babies…

zuni doll

Friday, May 13, 2011

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: KUNG FU HUSTLE

Kung Fu Hustle
  • Kung Fu Hustle
  • Kung Fu Hustle
The work of international superstar Stephen Chow, Kung Fu Hustle is a humorous, special-effects-filled, action-packed martial arts epic set in early '40s China. A bumbling thief named Sing (Stephen Chow) desires to be the toughest member of the dreaded gangster hit squad known as The Axe Gang, but to completely join the gang he has to commit murder. When Sing attempts to rob a crowded run-down apartment complex known as Pig Sty Alley, the locals begin to defend themselves with some high-flying kung fu skills, and a tiny war erupts between the local masters and the axe-wielding gang. After the gang busts the ancient kung fu king known as The Beast (Leung Siu Lung) out of jail, tensions reach a boiling point as Pig Sty Alley's landlady (Yuen Qiu) leads an all-out attack against the gang and Sing discovers his true heroic fate. Kung Fu Hustle, which set box-office records across Asia during its December 2004 release, also stars Yuen Wah and Xing Yu, and features fight choreography by legendary masters of martial arts cinema Yuen Woo Ping and Sammo Hung. – allrovi
86% liked it

R, 1 hr. 39 min.

Director: Stephen Chow

May 8, 2011: Third Sunday of Easter (Year A)

Kung Fu Hustle is basically Stephen Chow’s live action love letter to the the things he adored as a kid, so the movie is basically a merry mash-up of Chinese action cinema and vintage Looney Tunes. And believe it or not, the combination works wonderfully. The traditional Chinese orchestra gives the film a standout soundtrack, the appearance by many legendary faces from 70s Hong Kong films is a real treat for chopsocky fans, and the ludicrously over the top wire-fu sequences make the tedious Matrix sequels look like amateur night. Seriously, for a movie whose entire budget probably couldn’t even pay for Keanu to step onto the set, Kung Fu Hustle almost makes you appreciate CGI again.

But in the end, the thing that really wins you over about Kung Fu Hustle is the character of Sing and the way he begins the movie as a cowardly thief and wannabe murderer, only to stumble his way into becoming an enlightened Buddha-esque demigod. Oh, what a giveaway! Spoilers, right? Well, kind of. But you know what, the particular plot points in this movie don’t really matter because (1) there’s more than enough surprises scattered throughout the film to make up for anything you know beforehand, and (2) it’s not the finale, but the character’s journey and everyone he meets on his way that makes Kung Fu Hustle so enjoyable.

Which is actually kind of odd because while on his journey, Sing rarely makes a single correct decision. After bullies humiliate him as a child (the Chinese don’t appear to be at all squeamish about depicting children urinating on each other), Sing rejects the friendship of the mute girl he was trying to protect. Years later, he pushes her away again, and smashes her lollipop to get the point across (trust me, it makes sweet sense in the end). When he tries to initiate a life of crime, Sing does so by stupidly pretending to be a member of the most ruthless gang in town, a choice which inevitably lands him a death sentence from the real criminals. And when the gang surprisingly offers to let him go instead, Sing makes the boneheaded choice to stick around and undergo an initiation rite which requires him to murder someone (our hero, ladies and gentlemen). And to top all that off, the method he decides to use to attempt said execution leads to complete disaster (as well as to one of the funniest scenes ever involving snakes put to film).

It’s only when Sing makes his first real unselfish choice, by uncharacteristically switching sides and trying to defend the reluctant champions Landlord and Landlady from the unstoppable Beast, that he finally takes his first step towards wisdom. Of course, that’s also the exact moment that Sing literally has every bone in his body pounded into dust, but hey, as we Christians know, those initial movements towards enlightenment can often be painful ones. The point is, no matter how many times he screwed up, fate offered Sing another shot at redemption. You know, for a movie with such blatant Buddhist imagery, it’s funny how much of the Christian experience one can find in Sing’s journey.

You see this mainly in the way in which Sing is constantly offered the choice to choose the right path, but just as continuously finds some excuse to go in the other direction. And yet each time he strays, most often to painful and hilarious results, he is eventually offered the choice again. And that’s what Peter is alluding to in this week’s reading from Acts when he scolds the crowd saying, “This man, delivered up by the set plan and foreknowledge of God, you killed, using lawless men to crucify him. But God raised him up, releasing him from the throes of death, because it was impossible for him to be held by it.” You see, whenever we turn our back on plan one, God always has a plan two.

Pope Benedict XVI puts it a little more eloquently (a good thing considering he’s Pope and all) in his recent second volume on Jesus of Nazareth. “Some notable exegetes… argue that Jesus began by offering the good news of God’s kingdom and his unconditional forgiveness, but that he had to acknowledge the rejection of this offer and so came to identify his mission with that of the Suffering Servant. They argue that after his offer was refused, he realized that the only remaining path was that of vicarious expiation: that he had to take upon himself the disaster looming over Israel, thereby obtaining salvation for many… From the perspective of the whole structure of the biblical image of God and salvation history, a progression of this kind, a move toward a new path of love after the initial offer is rejected, is entirely plausible. This “flexibility” on God’s part is utterly characteristic of the paths that he treads with his people, as recounted in the Old Testament - he waits for man's free choice, and whenever the answer is "no", he opens up a new path of love. He responds to Adam’s “no” with a new overture toward man. He responds to Babel’s “no” with a fresh initiative in history – the choice of Abraham. [And so on]… So a similar two-stage process in Jesus’s approach to the people is entirely plausible.”

And that’s a comforting thought, because we all have some Sings in our lives, those people who who couldn’t make a right choice even if there were flashing neon arrows pointing to the correct path and a big sign proclaiming THIS IS IT! Sometimes we may be stuck with little to do for those people but pray, but we can rest assured that God’s already planned the next chance for them to get it right. And only on a few occasions does it involve getting pulverized.

Friday, May 06, 2011

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: CRAZY PEOPLE

Crazy People
    Dudley Moore stars as Emory Lesson, an advertising genius whose finds himself committed to an insane asylum in Tony Bill's Crazy People. Emory becomes tired with creating phony ad campaigns and decides to create his own campaigns that tell the brutal truth. Since sex sells, Emory designs an explicit ad campaign consisting of unadorned sexuality. The campaign is so offensive that his colleagues have Emory put in a mental institution. At first Emory resists, but under the tutelage of a concerned psychiatrist, Dr. Liz Baylor (Mercedes Ruehl) and the tender love of Kathy (Daryl Hannah) a beautiful patient, Emory begins to like it in the mental home. Befriending the cute and lovable patients in the mental ward, Emory discovers that the crazy people are natural-born advertising geniuses and Emory utilizes their genius for a new ad campaign. – rovi
    54% liked it

    R, 1 hr. 30 min.

    Director: Tony Bill

    May 1, 2011: Second Sunday of Easter or Divine Mercy Sunday (Year A)

    Crazy People is one of those movies you might vaguely remember. It starred  Dudley Moore and Darryl Hannah, two solid lead actors who were just beginning a period of decline in their careers, but were still looking pretty sharp at that time. It also had a pants load of instantly recognizable character actors all having a blast with their bit parts as wackos. And it even sported a somewhat decent director in Tony Bill, whose previous film was a quirky and entertaining independent feature called Five Corners starring Jodi Foster and Tim Robbins. Really, on the surface, Crazy People almost had too much of a pedigree to even end up on a blog like this one.

    If only 75% of the movie hadn’t been such a big steaming pile of boredom. It’s really a bizarre movie watching experience. You’ll find yourself rolling with laughter for two or three minutes, and then, wham, the movie hits the snooze button and you go stone faced. Every time the film shifts focus to the unnecessary love story between the two leads (I can understand some love affairs leading to the nuthouse, but they should never start there) or to the movie’s obnoxiously overused axiom that the insane are actually much more smarter and wiser than all of us supposedly sane people (because, you know, I’m so sure that guy who used to wander the streets of my old boyhood home town offering to pay people cash to break wind in his face actually held the secrets of the universe), every time it does that, the movie grinds to a screeching halt.

    But, hey, if you’re willing to sit through the tedium, the other 25% of Crazy People more than lives up to the promise of its high concept question, “What if a bunch of lunatics were given carte blanche to write commercials?” The advertisements Emory and the patients cook up are both truthful and laugh out loud funny. You can’t help but love lines like “Quaker Oats: Does this stuff taste good? Who knows… but at least the box is cute.”, “Come to New York… There were fewer murders last year.”, “Metamucil, it makes you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you may get cancer and die.”, and, of course, the world’s best ever movie tagline, “The Freak. It won't just scare you, it will @*#% you up for life!!!”

    Ah, if only more ads were truthful about what they were selling. After all, these days, advertising has grown into an omnipresent industry which, according to Outsell Inc., spends over $412,000,000,000 a year trying to get us to buy products. A few years back there was a study which estimated that the average person will see 576 or more commercials each week on television alone. 576! And that doesn’t even include the ads on the internet, on radio, or in print. But, so what, right? After all, doesn’t everyone recognize an ad when they see one? Just because they’re advertising Chia heads doesn’t mean we’re forced to go out and buy the things. Heck, we even need SOME of the things they try to push on us. So, what’s the problem, if any, with advertising?

    Well, almost from the beginning, a large percentage of advertising has sold something besides just the products themselves. Most advertisements, especially the targeted ads of today, promote a specific philosophy, a pre-defined notion of what constitutes the “good life”. In short, if you aren’t buying what they’re selling, you aren’t living well. It’s not really a single ad or advertiser that’s particularly devious. It’s the cumulative effect through constant exposure. (576 TV ads a week, remember?) For instance, an Arizona State University study on the effects of thin "imagery" from magazines and television found that the more a woman was exposed to this type of advertisement, the greater the likelihood she would develop the symptoms of an eating disorder. There’s obviously more being sold to the world in ads than just nail polish and panty hose, and it couldn’t hurt to be aware of just what it is.

    Better yet, why not just offer the world something more meaningful than the latest fashions to address the underlying issues the commercials are capitalizing on? As Christians we’ve got the offer of a lifetime, the one thing that everybody needs, the one thing many people don’t even know (or absolutely deny) they’re waiting for. We just have to get the message out there. God is calling us to open our mouths and be his ad men and women. And more often than not our campaign has to start not with catechesis or bible lessons or some other such thing, but with our normal day to day lives. Just look at the very first Christians who every day, as this past week’s first reading tells us, “devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple area and to breaking bread in their homes. They ate their meals with exultation and sincerity of heart, praising God and enjoying favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved.”

    Like those early Christians, we too (on our best days at least) can be the only advertisement Christianity needs. And we don’t need to spend $412,000,000,000 to do it. We just need to live and tell the truth. Even if some people will call us crazy for doing so.

    Wednesday, May 04, 2011

    SHORT FEATURE: BILL MURRAY SINGS THE STAR WARS THEME

    With the whole world going all higgledy piggledy over the past week and a half, what with the royal wedding, the suspension of Father Pleger, the birth certificate, the beatification of John Paul II, the price of gas pushing five bucks a gallon, the Vatican’s blogger council, and the death of Osama Bin Laden, it seemed like a good as time as any to take a short break from blogging to attend personal matters. I mean really, with all that stuff going on, who was going to miss talking about a bunch of crappy movies?

    Well, me for one. I don’t know about you, but I personally find that the daily news cycle goes down a lot smoother when it’s chased with a chunk of cheese. So let’s enjoy some, shall we? And since it’s May 4th, why don’t we go with this little nugget in honor of Star Wars Day.

    Now, it’s true that the cult of Star Wars can get a bit out of hand (seriously, ladies, some of you have no business dressing up as slave girl Leia at conventions), but you have to tip your hat to any movement which manages to get under the skins of modern day militant atheists. Take, for example, the recent hubbub over the 2011 British census. So disturbed was British Humanist Association over the 2001 census, in which 71.74% of respondents in England claimed to be Christian (as opposed to around 55% in other non-government surveys), that they launched a campaign to get  as many Jedis as possible to check 'No Religion' on their 2011 census forms. This effort, of course, targets that deluge of people who claimed Jedi as a religion on the 2001 census and made it the 4th largest religious affiliation in Britain. But why bother? Well, the atheists goals are pretty straight forward, actually…

    “The [census] data gathered is used to inform government policy, and was used by the last government to justify funding of religious community bodies over secular ones. For example, 2001 census data has been used repeatedly to justify an increase in the number of state maintained faith schools and the increasing level of government money spent on faith organisations. By ticking ‘No Religion’, you will ensure that the Government receives an unambiguous message about the number of non-religious people in the UK. Any other response may be manipulated into a response in favour of religion and publically funded religious organisations.”

    So, they don’t want government money going to religious schools or charitable groups. Well, that’s a position hardly limited to atheists in Britain. But regardless of one’s views on the rightness or wrongness of that particular argument, what should be blatantly obvious is… just how desperate the atheists sound. You see, to counter the 2001 census result, the British Humanist Association’s website posts data from the annual British Social Attitudes Survey which indicates a current Christian population in Britain of about 49%. The problem, at least for me, is that the survey is based on a representative sampling of 3,000 or so people, whereas the last census contained responses from roughly 94% of the population, or somewhere around 55,000,000 people. If only the atheists would use some of that ‘Reason’ they so often lay sole claim to, you think they would realize that those numbers suggest the British Social Attitudes Survey might be… flawed. Possibly? Just a bit?

    Oh well, I won’t hold my breath waiting for ‘Reason’ to triumph. Instead, I’ll just throw a little moral support to all the besieged British Jedi out there (heck, they can’t even eat in peace these days). While, as a Catholic, I have some big problems with the syncretistic underpinnings of the Jedi ‘faith’, I’m even less of a fan of seeing any religion singled out as a target. Yes, even if that religion consists largely of portly guys who try to stuff themselves into storm trooper outfits on weekends.

    So hang in there, Jedi. You mark whatever you want to on the census. We’ve got your back. And may the 4th be with you.