BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: PHASE IV

SYNOPSIS

“Saul Bass had a fascinating career as an animator and as designer of title sequences for a number of notable films, including Psycho, Vertigo, Anatomy Of A Murder and Seconds. However, Phase IV was his only credit as director of a feature film. A visually inventive science-fiction story, Phase IV concerns a group of research scientists working in the Arizona desert who find themselves confronted by an Army of super-intelligent mutant ants. The results are more intelligent than the description would lead you to believe, and Nigel Davenport and Michael Murphy turn in good performances as the embattled men of science.” ~ Rovi’s Allmovie Guide

February 26, 2012: First Sunday of Lent (Year B)

In 1971, the Academy Award for best feature length documentary went to The Hellstrom Chronicle, a film which utilized groundbreaking macrophotography to document the epic struggles which occur every day in the insect world. But as fantastic as the imagery was (and still is to this day actually), what really turned the Hellstrom Chronicle into a cult classic was the script penned by legendary screenwriter David Seltzer (The Omen, Prophecy). Rather than go with the staid voiceover so typical of other documentaries, Seltzer instead had the film narrated by a fictional near-manic entomologist named Dr. Nils Hellstrom who bleakly informed the audience that he was morally compelled to present the results of his years of study of insects, despite the ridicule and harm it would inevitably bring to his career. You see, after decades of observing the highly organized societies established by insects, Hellstrom had come to the inevitable conclusion that the greatest threat to humanity wasn’t nuclear war or environmental disaster, but the barely noticed bugs crawling beneath our feet. In short, if the insects were ever to declare war on mankind… mankind was hosed.

And that’s basically the idea behind Phase IV, which begins with a vague, undefined event in space that has a profound affect on the intelligence of the ant population in the American desert.The change goes relatively unnoticed by the scientific community for awhile, but after various species of ants which would normally be hostile too one another begin to work together and make things hard for some of the local ranchers, the government takes notice and decides to send in a pair of scientists to investigate what is going on. Now, if this were any other old bug invasion flick, this would be the point at which the movie became nothing more than a series of scenes involving people fighting an advancing horde of creepy crawly things. But that’s not how Phase IV creeps and crawls. You see, while the poster (above) may have promised carnage, what the movie actually delivers is a back and forth chess match wherein the men study and test the ants, and the ants in turn do the same to the men, may the smartest minds win.

And for my tastes, that’s what makes Phase IV so darn good. Take for instance the sequence which begins with the ants chewing through some of the generator wires in an attempt to cripple the scientists’ computer systems. The head scientist responds by coating the landscape with a new form of insecticide to prevent the ants from coming in too close. After an initial retreat, the ants send back scouts to retrieve some of the poison so that the queen can analyze it and produce offspring resistant to the toxins. Once enough of the new eggs have hatched, the ants then begin to construct… Okay, I know it sounds a lot less exciting than watching ants crawl all over Suzanne Somers, and in lesser hands, maybe it would be. But the combination of Saul Bass’ direction, Dick Bush’s cinematography, and Desmond Briscoe’s somber score produces something special. Rather than being a snooze fest, the scene I just described actually becomes mesmerizing. For almost five full minutes the camera follows a series of worker ants as one by one they transport a single piece of the dried poison through their tunnels, each wrenching the deadly package from the clenched mandibles of its dead predecessor, each knowing they too will perish before the task is complete. It’s all shot in glorious macro close-up and plays out to the strains of a mournful adagio that adds just the right touch of pathos to the workers’ sacrifice. On paper, it’s just a few ants crawling and dying. Onscreen, it’s practically impossible to turn away from.

Look, I enjoy watching William Shatner over emote to tarantulas as much as the next guy, but Phase IV just has so much more going for it in the ideas department than most of the other bug movies combined. While it never dwells overlong on any one topic, it still manages to touch on everything from game theory to class warfare to man’s place in the universe. Plus, Phase IV does make you wonder, even if just a little, if something like this scenario could be how humanity finally meets its end. As an inveterate sci-fi fan, I realize the honor of mankind’s destruction usually falls to asteroid collisions, global pandemics, alien invasions, and things like that, but as The Hellstrom Chronicle (phony baloney though it was) so duly pointed out, insects outnumber us and are far more organized.  So why should an apocalypse by ants be out of the question? It’s as good a guess as any.

Now, of course, someone out there is probably thinking, “Hey, what about the Bible? Doesn’t it tell us exactly how the world will end?” Well, kind of. Remember, this week’s first reading only tells us how the world’s grand finale WILL NOT occur, “that the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all mortal beings.” But notice that it never actually gets around to saying how it WILL. And as for the verses we find scattered throughout the rest of scripture that do address the end times, let’s just say they can be a little vague. Oh sure, it’s pretty clear that at the very final moment there’ll be a big blow-out between Jesus, Satan, and their two respective forces. As the Catechism explains it, “On Judgment Day at the end of the world, Christ will come in glory to achieve the definitive triumph of good over evil which, like the wheat and the tares, have grown up together in the course of history.” But as for the events leading up to the big finish, that’s a bit more sketchy.

So, assuming something obvious like a militant uprising of ants doesn’t occur, how will we know the end is approaching. Well, skipping over all that pre-tribulation rapture nonsense that’s been all the rage amongst some evangelical protestants for the past couple of centuries (another post for another time), about all we can really say the Bible tells us about the end times is that there will be wars and rumors of wars, some natural disasters, and that the Church will be persecuted, undergoing a trial that will shake the faith of many believers. Which, when you stop to think about it, pretty much sounds like most any time in Church history. Which is sort of the point. As Jesus tells us in this week’s gospel, "THIS is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel." You see, its been the end times since Jesus ascended into Heaven some 2,000+ years ago, and it could remain the end times for who knows how long. "Of that day and hour no one knows” Jesus once said, “neither the angels of heaven nor the Son, but the Father alone."

So, what to do until the final cosmic throwdown actually does role around? Well, these end times, the Catechism reminds us, are “a time still marked by ‘distress’… a time of waiting and watching”, but also, “according to the Lord, the present time is the time of the Spirit and of witness.” Which means, basically, that rather than spend too much time sitting around fretting about the details of Armageddon, we should just get down to the daily tasks of repenting, believing, and witnessing which God has given us. And you know who already understands the importance of taking care of what needs to be taken care of, don’t you? The dang blasted ants. That’s why the Bible tells us in Proverbs to “go to the ant, O sluggard, study her ways and learn wisdom.” Come on, folks. Get busy. Don’t let the ants prove themselves smarter than us.

SHORT FEATURE: MOVIE: THE MOVIE

It probably won’t surprise anyone that the best thing about the Academy Awards last night wasn’t actually on the Academy Awards, but happened a little later. (For my Baptist readers, be warned, this has an ad for vodka preceding the clip. For my Catholic readers, sit back and have a drink, the clip starts in about 60…)

If only this were real, it might just be the movie that would make me willing to shell out 30 bucks for tickets and snacks and the opportunity to sit in an auditorium full a bunch of attention deficit teens armed with cell phones.

Now some might say there’s just too many genres represented in Movie: The Movie, too which I could only respond, “Please, I’m a Bible reader.” You see, while a lot of people who never actually crack open the good book think of it as nothing more than a big “how to” manual, the fact is the Bible is an assortment of books collected over centuries containing a myriad of genres.

Felix Just, S.J., Ph.D. breaks them down this way:

Major Genres within the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament):

• Foundational Myths & Legends - stories about the origins of the world, the first generations of humans, or the early years of a nation, intended to provide a foundational world-view upon which people base their communal and individual lives (Gen, parts of Exod, Num, Deut)
• Legal Codes - collections of laws and instructions by which the people are to live (Lev, parts of Exod, Num, Deut)
• Genealogies - lists of inter-relationships between peoples, either of successive generations or of different nations (parts of Gen, much of Num)
• Annals - semi-historical narrative accounts of select events in a nation's life, focusing especially upon political and military exploits of its leaders, since usually written under royal sponsorship (Josh, Jdg, 1 & 2 Sam, 1 & 2 Kings, etc.)
• Prophetic Books - collections of the oracles or words of God spoken to the people through human intermediaries (prophets) and the symbolic actions they perform at God's direction for the people's benefit (Isa, Jer, Ezek, etc.)
• Psalms/Odes/Songs - poetic lyrics of songs/hymns intended for communal worship and/or individual prayer (Ps)
• Prayers/Laments - words addressed by people to God, esp. reflecting situations of crisis or lament (Lam)
• Proverbs - generalized sayings and aphorisms containing advice on how to live well: "do good and avoid evil" (Prov)
• Wisdom Literature - various types of inspirational stories that encourage people to live wisely (Job, Wis, etc.)
• Apocalypses - symbolic narratives that interpret historical crises through God's eyes to provide hope for a better future (Dan)

Major Genres within the New Testament:

• Gospels - proclamations of the "good news" about Jesus intended to establish and/or strengthen people's faith in him; quasi-biographical, semi-historical portraits of the life, teachings, and actions of Jesus (Mark, Matt, Luke, John)
  • The NT Gospels contain many sub-genres of literature (see below)
• Acts - a partial narrative account about the beginnings and the growth of early Christianity; not a complete history of the early Church, since it focuses only on the actions of a few missionary leaders (Acts)
• Letters - real letters addressing practical and theological issues relevant to particular communities (esp. Paul's)
• Church Orders - collections of instructions for the practical organization of religious communities (1 Tim, Titus)
• Testament - a document that gives a dying person's last wishes and instructions for his/her successors (2 Tim & 2 Peter)
• Homily/Sermon - an exegetical sermon that cites and interprets older biblical texts in reference to Jesus (Heb)
• Wisdom Collection - a collection of general instructions on how to live an ethical Christian life well (James)
• Epistles/Encyclicals - more stylized works in letter format; "circular letters" intended for broader audiences (1 & 2 Peter)
• Apocalypse - a vividly symbolic narrative that "reveals" God's views about a historical crisis, in order to provide encouragement for a difficult present and hope for a better future (Rev)

Smaller Genres and Sub-Genres within the New Testament:

• There are many other smaller genres found within the various biblical books.
• For example, the NT Gospels contain narrative materials, discourse materials, and some mixed genres:
  • Narrative genres include the following:
    • genealogies
    • narrator's introductions, transitions & summary passages
    • miracle stories
    • call & sending stories
    • conflict or controversy stories
    • vision reports
    • legends & myths
    • etc.
  • Discourse genres include the following:
    • parables & allegories
    • hymns & prayers
    • laws & legal interpretations
    • short exhortations: individual sayings or proverbs
    • longer speeches: discourses or monologues
    • etc.
  • Mixed genres include
    • longer narratives that contain extended dialogues
    • "pronouncement stories" or "apothegms" (short narratives that climax in a short saying or proverb)
• Many of these sub-genres can also be further sub-divided; for example:
  • "Miracle stories" can include healings, exorcisms, restoration miracles, nature miracles, etc.
  • "Psalms" include enthronement psalms, processional songs, individual laments, hymns of praise, etc.
  • "Sayings" include legal sayings, eschatological sayings, prophetic sayings, wisdom sayings, "I am" statements, etc.
• The above lists are not comprehensive, but include only the more prominent categories of biblical literature.

So, pretty much something for everyone no matter what their taste (though, to be honest, most of the good sex and violence is located in the Annals). So the next time you’re in the mood for something specific, don’t rule out the Bible. It’s got you covered.

LIFE’S LIKE A MOVIE: INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE

ADVANCED WARNING: SKIP READING THIS POST IF YOU DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO ME INDULGE IN A BUNCH OF NAVEL GAZING. BUT IT DOES HAVE A POINT. I HOPE.

I doubt if too many people reading this blog don’t already know the plot of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. Just in case, though, let’s summarize. The story kicks off after everyone’s favorite adventuring archeologist receives his father’s diary under mysterious circumstances. Following the clues contained in the book, Indiana manages to track down his missing dad and the two are soon involved in a series of adventures which ultimately leads them to the final resting place of the Holy Grail. The action scenes are great as usual and the interplay between the Jones’ is a blast, especially since the elder Jones approves of very little of his son’s actions, especially his choice to use the alias Indiana instead of his given name.

Now I’d love to say this post was about to segue into describing how I was preparing to embark on a series of globetrotting adventures involving ancient religious relics but, alas, that’s not the case. Instead, the only reason this movie came to mind recently was because of one thing…

Yep, the diary Indiana receives that once belonged to his father. Sorry, no Nazis, no zeppelins, no mystical knights still alive since the days of the Crusades. Just the book.

But to explain why I’ve had that on my mind, I’ll have to give you a little boring background on myself. See, I’ve made no big secret that there were times in my past when I wasn’t exactly living the Christian life, but I have managed to spare everyone all the messy details. And I’m not about to get too deep into them now. But I will say that many years ago I was involved in a relationship that I was way too immature to be in, and that it ended badly, especially for the girl. Don’t get me wrong, I was never violent or anything like that (I’d eat a bullet before I hit a woman), but I was a completely self-absorbed teenager oblivious to how my actions harmed others. I don’t want to say too much more, only that for a long time after that relationship was over, the poor girl still pursued me, even after I’d begun dating my future wife. I won’t say she was a stalker, because that’s too harsh and implies danger. Let’s just say she was obsessive, and because of that, I had to keep a low profile for awhile. So as you might imagine, when I started interacting on the Internet, I was very careful about handing out personal details, never stating exactly where I lived and almost always using aliases. It’s a practice I continued even after I thought it unnecessary because, not only did it give my wife peace of mind, but aliases on the Net can take on a life of their own. Take EegahInc for example. More than once I’ve left a comment on someone else’s blog only to get the response, “Hey, it’s the B-Movie Catechism guy!”

So when I was recently approached by a Catholic website that wanted to feature some of my writing, I had to give it a little thought because it would mean using my real name. I wasn’t quite sure what to do. And that was when my mother called and said she was mailing me this…

Back in 1984, a few years after my family had left its decadent days behind it and started going to church, my father was looking for something to carry in his shirt pocket to replace the ever-present pack of cigarettes he was giving up. So for Father’s day, I bought him this. Honestly, I never gave it another thought, but according to my mother, he carried this little book with him every day until he died some 18 years later, often bringing it out to discuss the wondrous things Jesus had done for him whenever the opportunity presented itself. I was never as close to my father as my older brothers were, so the fact that he kept something I gave him on his person at all times is a bit… overwhelming.

But to get to the point, on the night he entered the hospital for the final time, this pocket testament went missing. My mother figures it just got misplaced in the rush to try and save him, and in the days following his death, nobody really gave it any thought. That was ten years ago. A couple of weeks ago, there was a knock on the door at my mother’s house and there stood a man who used to do yard work for my father after he got too ill to do it himself. He explained how he had been having a conversation with a woman when she asked him if he still knew how to find my mother. You see, she had come into possession of something she thought my mother might want and asked him if he would deliver it. And so ten years after it disappeared, this little book of my father’s, dirty and much the worse for wear and having passed through who knows whose hands, had found its way home. And after holding it and crying over it for hours, my mother finally got up and called me, saying she couldn’t explain why, but she knew God wanted me to have it.

I’ve got it next to me right now. It’s just one of those little pocket King James New Testaments with Psalms that you can pick up anywhere. No big deal. But thumbing through it, I can’t help but notice the verses my father had highlighted, most of which I assumed he would use to share the story of his conversion. But then I ran across these from II Timothy 2: “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all [men], apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth.” I had to think about those verses for a minute, because those aren’t ones you’d read to a non-believer. Those verses are speaking to someone who has already accepted Christ, instructing them to be gentle and respectful with non-believers when we evangelize.

And we are supposed to evangelize, through our words, our deeds, and the way we carry ourselves during our day to day lives. But given the no-longer-hidden war on religion which has begun in earnest, a lot of us are going to have be a little more public with our faith than we have been in the past. Now more than ever, it’s important that the world see our faces. Oh, there’ll be much derision, sure. And probably some outright hatred. But it will all be to the greater glory of God in the end. And that’s why my father highlighted those verses, not for others but for himself, for when he faced times like these when evangelization isn’t all that appreciated. And, just maybe, for me to find all these years later right when I needed to. Thank you, daddy.

And with that, I have only one other thing to say…

Hi, my name is David Ives. I’m a Christian. And God has done great things for me, even though in my days I’ve been mean and selfish and hurt others who in no way deserved it. He brought me out of that. That’s just how much He loves me. And He loves you just the same. I’d be happy to talk to you about it sometime if you want.

STILL VOICES #011

OUTTAKES #038

THE B-LIST: CRAZY LOVE

Okay, here’s a quick list of movie characters. Take a look at them and see if you can guess what they all have in common. Ready?

1. Shuna Sassi from Nightbreed

2. Dren from Splice

3. Julie Walker from Return Of The Living Dead III

4. Madison from Splash

5. Uxía Cambarro from Dagon

6. Any Of The Women from The Species Movies

If you guessed that each of these characters is the subject of a thread on the IMDB message boards with an accompanying title somewhere along the lines of “I Would So Totally Tap That!” then, sadly, you are correct. Now, you’d think the presence of scaly protuberances or a few extra appendages would be enough to dissuade even the most leering of male gazes, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. In fact, the willingness of some guys to imagine “tapping” anything that has at least some of the necessary body parts prompted the website io9 to publish an article entitled How to Get it on with an Alien: A Beginner’s Guide which includes such helpful sections as Wooing Your Alien Mate and Watch Out For Injuries. It’s all enough to make you want to utter the immortal words proclaimed by Dr. McCoy after he watched Capt. Kirk lock lips with some alien bimbo one too many times: “What IS it with you, anyway?”

Well, the easiest answer to what is wrong with Capt. Kirk and his kin is that, deep down inside, men really are the pigs women claim they are. But, of course, it’s not that simple. Dr. Louann Brizendine, author of the book The Male Brain, notes that “the testosterone marination during fetal life makes the area-for-sexual-pursuit in the male hypothalamus grow to be 2.5 Times larger than the female and then in the teen boy brain he has 200 to 250% more testosterone than teen girls, which will last his entire life.” So, from the womb, men are genetically predisposed to be on the lookout. The only interruption in this process, Brizendine suggests, is when a man gets someone pregnant, at which point his mate gives out pheromones that cut his testosterone production by 30%, thereby decreasing his tendency to have a wandering eye. Other than that, chances are better than average that a man is going to check out women, even if they’re a zombie or covered in poisonous quills. It’s just how God made us.

But as any good Catholic boy knows, a quick glance isn’t the problem. It’s HOW you look that can cause trouble. Jesus stated in Matthew 5, “everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”, so you have to be really careful not to cross the line from thinking “Hmm, she’s pretty.” to “I Would So Totally Tap That!”. Which, as any good Catholic boy also knows, isn’t as easy as it sounds. It takes a lot of practice, and most Christian men who take Jesus’ words seriously go through a period where they’re constantly jerking their heads away from images in the media or from women walking down the street. It’s just what you have to do.

But as commendable as such efforts are, they’re not enough. As author and lecturer Christopher West points out, “Obviously, if a person needs to avert his (or her) gaze in order to avoid lusting, then, by all means, that person should do so. We classically call this ‘avoiding the occasion of sin’ by ‘gaining custody of the eyes.’ This is a necessary first step, but John Paul II described such an approach as a negative purity. As we grow in virtue we come to experience a positive, more mature purity.” You see, loving God isn’t just about following a few rules (although there is some of that), it’s also about effecting a total transformation of yourself from the inside out. As Pope John Paul II explained in his encyclical Veritatis Splendor, “Jesus shows that the commandments must not be understood as a minimum limit not to be gone beyond, but rather as a path involving a moral and spiritual journey towards perfection, at the heart of which is love (cf. Col 3:14). Thus the commandment "You shall not murder" becomes a call to an attentive love which protects and promotes the life of one's neighbor. The precept prohibiting adultery becomes an invitation to a pure way of looking at others, capable of respecting the spousal meaning of the body.”

So, this Valentine’s Day, if you’re not doing so already, why not begin to practice the “pure way of looking at others?” Begin to see women not just as objects for sexual gratification, but for who and what they really are. Vicious animal-human hybrids armed with poisonous tail stingers. 

Oh, okay, that’s just a handful of them. The rest, they are children of God made in his image. Start looking at them as such.

(And ladies, this applies to you too. Last time I checked, People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive issue only appealed to about 2% of the male population. So you’ve got to work on your “looking” skills as well.)

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: NIGHTBREED

SYNOPSIS

“Multimedia horror maven Clive Barker followed the success of his feature directorial debut, Hellraiser, with this equally surreal effort, based on his novella Cabal. The story involves the plight of Aaron Boone (Craig Sheffer), a young man tormented by visions of monstrous, graveyard-dwelling creatures. Seeking the aid of his clinically cold therapist Dr. Decker (played by Canadian horror auteur David Cronenberg) in deciphering his nightmares, Boone becomes convinced that his frequent blackouts are linked to a recent spate of mutilation murders in the area. His frantic search for the truth leads him to the subterranean city of Midian, the dwelling place of a mythical race of undead nocturnal monsters known as the "Nightbreed." But it is only after he is cornered and shot dead by police that Boone's real journey begins -- he finds himself resurrected as one of the Breed. Though Barker's unique and graphic vision is somewhat blunted by choppy editing (thanks to relentless tampering from the studio), this is nevertheless a fine sophomore project from a talented storyteller; the central conceit of presenting the monsters as the "good guys" -- at least compared to the gun-and-bible-toting lunatics who hunt them -- is handled with verve and originality.” – allmovie guide

February 12, 2012: Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year B)

Yeah, yeah, I know. “Gun-and-bible-toting lunatics.” Booooring. And actually not all that accurate since the gun toters in question aren’t regular Joes, but rather members of some backwoods weekend warrior militia group and the sole bible toter is an inebriated priest of lapsed faith whom they drag out of the local drunk tank and take to fight the monsters against his will. Still, ham-fisted political commentary disguised as movie criticism aside, allmovie’s reviewer gets the general tone of Nightbreed correct. In this movie, the monsters are the good guys, hunted throughout the centuries by humans who hate them because they’re different. Well, that and the fact that some of the monsters do have the small habit of maiming, killing, and eating humans. Not to mention they kind of worship some glowy version of every pagan's favorite symbolic dark god Baphomet. But for the most part, they’re hated because they’re different.

Now I’m not really complaining because Nightbreed's script comes by its persecution complex honestly. Having come of age during that regrettable  time when homosexuals were a group of people who regularly got beat up in the streets as opposed to the media sponsored conglomerate of anti-religious demagogues they’ve since become(see, that’s how you do ham-fisted political commentary disguised as movie criticism, with a smile), Clive Barker easily channels his past feelings of being tormented into those of the put upon monsters who live under the mausoleums of Midian. And it works for the most part, although you do get the occasional clunky line of adolescent-tinged dialog like, “They envy us our freedom, and what they envy, they destroy.” Because, you know, we all envy being some dude with a head growing out of his stomach and a taste for human flesh. Yeah, if only I had that going for me, my life would be complete.

But really, who cares about that? While Nightbreed’s story is certainly interesting, especially in the world building it engages in for its protagonists (the flashback to the Middle Ages where some Inquisition types run a sort of Nightbreed torture assembly line is especially notable), it’s not the main draw here. That particular honor goes to the visuals and the music. In fact, if you want to know why Nightbreed has developed such a cult following over the years, you probably need to do little more than watch the ten minute sequence in which the character of Lori descends Alice-like into the depths of Midian, passing through a multi-story labyrinth of rope bridges, scaffolds & mural encrusted old ruins to the strains of what is undoubtedly one of Danny Elfman’s finest scores. As Lori makes her journey, she comes upon literally dozens of uniquely designed creatures, all done with practical effects, and all given their own little bit of personality. There’s a guy who looks like a lump of tumors, a porcupine woman, a man with snake tails where dreadlocks should be, a little werewolf girl, a guy with eyes in his cheekbones, and inexplicably, some guy whose monstrousness appears to consist only of being effeminate and carrying a Boston Terrier. I’m assuming the openly gay Barker wasn’t saying homosexuals are monsters, so he must have been in Midian because of the dog. Which I can completely understand because I once had a girlfriend who owned this incredibly ancient Boston Terrier that had one bulbous protruding cataract and a very pronounced breathing problem. The thing was like a cross between Popeye and Darth Vader and it totally creeped me out whenever I had to pretend to play with it.

But I digress.

Sort of. Because the revulsion I used to feel towards that loathsome creature dog is pretty much the reaction the members of the Nightbreed receive from those who encounter them during the course of the movie. Even the monsters who aren’t very interested in munching down on us ‘naturals’ never get a cordial welcome. As a community facing such a stigma, the Breed remind me a little of how lepers were treated in ancient times (and still are treated in some parts of the world). The disease of leprosy has been around probably at least as long as written history. According to the 1910 Catholic Encyclopedia, “Leprosy was not uncommon in India as far back as the fifteenth century B.C. (Ctesias, Pers., Xli; Herodian, I, i, 38), and in Japan during the tenth century B.C. Of its origin in these regions little is known, but Egypt has always been regarded as the place whence the disease was carried into the Western world.” And that’s probably where the ancient Jews first encountered the disease before taking it into the desert with them. “From the epoch of the sojourn of the people of God in the desert down to the times of Christ, leprosy seems to have been prevalent in Palestine: not only was it in some particular cases (Numbers 12:10; 2 Kings 5:27; Isaiah 53:4) looked upon as a Divine punishment, but at all times the Hebrews believed it to be contagious and hereditary (2 Samuel 3:29); hence it was considered as a cause of defilement, and involved exclusion from the community.” Which is what we see being discussed in this week’s first reading between Moses and Aaron.

Now the Israelites were hardly the only people who isolated lepers. That was pretty much the common approach to the disease around the world. But like everything else with the ancient Jews, the act of separating the unclean from the larger tribe was overlaid with a spiritual dimension. As noted in the introduction to Leviticus in the 1970 edition of the New American Bible, "Generally speaking, the laws contained in the book serve to teach the Israelites that they should always keep themselves in a state of legal purity, or external sanctity, as a sign of their intimate union with the Lord." So, basically, the external purity of avoiding ‘unclean’ persons was meant to be a reflection of the inward purity of avoiding unclean acts. And while shuffling people off to isolation may sound harsh to modern ears (definitely a lack of concern for self esteem in Leviticus), the spiritual principles behind the practice were most likely understood and agreed to by the afflicted, and so they willingly allowed themselves to be separated from their community.

And that’s where we get to the crux of today’s readings, the fact that sin (as represented by the leprosy) doesn’t just affect us, but damages our relationships with others. We even get to see that play out a bit in Nightbreed. Some of the humans can’t get over their fear and bigotry, and some of the monsters can’t keep their own god’s one law, which is don’t eat people. (I guess we’re just too tasty to resist, although most agree we just taste like pork.) Their sins keep the two groups apart and it ends badly for everyone involved. And God doesn’t really want that. That’s why when Jesus cures the leper in this week’s gospel, he tells him to “Go, show yourself to the priest and offer for your cleansing what Moses prescribed.” By having the former leper go through the Levitical ritual of proving himself cleansed, Jesus not only healed the man of his affliction and forgave his sins, but He also insured that his relationship with his people was restored. Reflecting on the passage from Mark, Pope Benedict sees that “In that gesture and in those words of Christ, is the whole history of salvation, there is embodied the will of God to heal, to cleanse us from the evil that disfigures us and destroys our relationships”.

Here in the states, the current political situation has relationships within the Church a bit strained right now. And, of course, the other side is wrong and causing most of it through their sin. But even so, along with all the other things which urgently need our prayers right now, why not throw one in for Christian unity? It’s hard, I know, because our fellow Christians are so obviously erring by supporting some of the causes they do. But I’m sure we can afford a little charity because, in the end, we’ve all played the part of the monster at some time or another, haven’t we?

STILL VOICES #010

THINGS TO COME: HOLY ROLLERS - THE TRUE STORY OF CARD COUNTING CHRISTIANS

Sure, my personal preferences in movies runs towards alien invasions and things that go bump in the night, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a sucker for a good low budget documentary when one rolls around. And this one currently making the festival rounds has caught my attention…

As noted in Variety, Holy Rollers “chronicles what happens when two normally well-separated worlds collide. Its subjects are a group of young Christians, mostly from the Pacific Northwest, who realized they could make rent and devote more time to the Lord's business by training themselves to count cards at casino blackjack tables… [The] protagonists might easily be taken for 30-ish hipsters, but appearances deceive: they're all pastors, church leaders and/or congregants very much dedicated to their faith… Most struggle to support young families and spend time in worship-related activities while working as public schoolteachers, in construction, etc. Then Seattle-based friends Ben Crawford and Colin Jones hit upon the idea of counting cards.”

Now this documentary is interesting to me because, having spent a number of years as a protestant, I know that many (though not all) evangelical churches view gambling as a sin, not because it’s forbidden in the Bible (its not even mentioned), but because of the potential negative affects it can have on a person, ranging from the possible encouragement of greed and avarice to the potential for gambling to turn into an addiction. For Catholics, however, it’s a wee bit more nuanced than simply saying that gambling is wrong. The Catechism states that “games of chance (card games, etc.) or wagers are not in themselves contrary to justice.” but are “morally unacceptable when they deprive someone of what is necessary to provide for his needs and those of others [or] the passion for gambling risks becoming an enslavement.” This is consistent with Catholic teaching on other activities wherein the action itself is not considered inherently good or bad, but the purpose behind the action and/or the consequences resulting from the action may be so. But the folks in Holy Rollers aren’t Catholic. And unfortunately, as Variety reports, Holy Rollers “major omission is that it doesn't describe the precise tenets or logistics of their spiritual practices, though their sincerity is never in doubt.” So there’s no way to tell if these particular Christians are violating their own church’s teachings. The trailer seems to want you to think that’s the case, but it would be nice if they explicitly said so, that way you’d know you’re not just watching another documentary about some guys counting cards.

Which brings up another problem, now that I think of it. The Catechism goes on to say that “unfair wagers and cheating at games constitute grave matter, unless the damage inflicted is so slight that the one who suffers it cannot reasonably consider it significant.” So cheating in a casino, where there are monetary ramifications, would definitely be a sin. The problem is, counting cards isn’t cheating. Even the courts have agreed that counting cards (using only your brain) is nothing more than using a developed skill to gain an edge in a game. Some casinos don’t like it and will give you the boot if you get caught (which is their right as the property owner), but it’s not illegal or immoral. So if Variety’s review is accurate, this whole documentary seems to built around the tension wrought by these Christians who are sinning and/or violating the tenets of their faith, when in fact they are doing neither.

But maybe there’s more to it. I’ll probably watch it just to judge for myself. So what does everyone else think? Is Holy Rollers going to be any good? Want to place a little bet on it?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

It’s February, which means that, against all the laws of logic and reason, this blog has been going on for five years now. That’s five long years of embarrassing the Catholic blogosphere with my feeble attempts to examine the teachings of the Church through the lens of some of the most rotten movies ever made. But hey, five years is five years. That’s got to call for some kind of celebration, right?

Well, maybe not. You see, according to the movies, even something as mundane as a birthday party is a just another opportunity for death and destruction. Take Happy Birthday To Me for example. In that movie, all poor Melissa Sue Anderson wanted was to have a nice quiet party with her friends and her father, but all these nasty little accidents kept getting in the way. You know, everyday mishaps like a shish kebab getting shoved down someone’s throat or some guy’s face being smashed into the furiously spinning spokes of a dirt bike. I don’t care what you say, no amount of cake or ice cream is going to stop things like that from spoiling a good time for everybody.

But it isn’t just the movies who think that birthday parties might be something you’d do well to avoid. According to some folks… celebrating your birthday could cost you your very soul!!!

Okay, so maybe that statement is a tad bit hyperbolic, but there are actually groups out there like the Jehovah's Witnesses and some of the assemblies in the Sacred Name Movement who teach that you should avoid the modern practice of celebrating birthdays on the basis that the custom has its roots in paganism. They come by this belief from a combination of a number of sources. First off is the fact that Bible only explicitly mentions two people celebrating their birthday; Pharaoh and Herod. And since those two aren’t exactly role model material, why follow in their footsteps? It is also speculated that the festivities mentioned in the first book of Job might have been birthday parties, and given that Satan killed everybody there with a tornado (even Happy Birthday To Me didn’t pull that one off), maybe such undertakings are something to avoid.

Of course, just because some bad people engage in a certain activity doesn’t necessarily make said activity inherently evil. So modern critics of birthday celebrations also appeal to authorities from the days of the early Church. For instance, the first century Jewish historian Flavius Josephus, in his work Against Apion, wrote that "nay, indeed, the law does not permit us to make festivals at the births of our children" while early Christian theologian Origen of Alexandria declared that "none of the saints can be found who ever held a feast or a banquet upon his birthday, or rejoiced on the day when his son or daughter was born." A little later, in his treatise Against the Heathen, Christian theologian Arnobius wrote that: "you worship with couches [and] altars...by celebrating their services and their birthdays...to whom it was fitting that you should assail with keenest hatred." Well, from all that it would seem pretty obvious there were indeed some early Jews and Christians who had trouble with celebrating birthdays. But you have to be a little careful when reading these guys. Josephus wasn’t infallible (Against Apion also claims, completely against Jewish tradition, that the Hebrew scriptures only contained 22 books), Origen died a heretic, and Arnobius believed the Greco-Roman gods were real beings. None of which means their exhortations against birthday celebrations were categorically wrong, just that they need to be approached within the larger context of Church teaching throughout the ages rather than just taking a few sound bytes as dogma.

The hint to the solution to the birthday problem comes in the New Testament. You see, right from the beginning the Church was having to deal with the local customs people were bringing with them when they joined up. This included things like what day to worship on, what kinds of food to eat, and yes, probably even things like celebrating birthdays for emperors and gods (yeah, apparently some gods had birthdays, who knew). That’s why St. Paul was compelled to write in Romans 14:5,6, “[For] one person considers one day more important than another, while another person considers all days alike. Let everyone be fully persuaded in his own mind. Whoever observes the day, observes it for the Lord. Also whoever eats, eats for the Lord, since he gives thanks to God; while whoever abstains, abstains for the Lord and gives thanks to God.” Basically, in non-essential matters such as festivals and food stuff, it was the spirit they were carried out in that really mattered.

So yes, based on some early writings, it does seem likely there was a time when the pagan association with birthday celebrations was so strong that it caused scandal for Christians to participate in them. But those days are long gone now, and there seems to be nobody left who thinks of birthdays as worshiping false gods or other human beings, they’re just celebrating the day someone was born. And given the “let’s sterilize the whole world” times we live in, celebrating the day God gave us the gift of life seems like a pretty good idea. And if our celebrations are done in that spirit, we are “observing our birthdays for the Lord” as St. Paul might say. So, if it’s your birthday, or that of someone you care for, go ahead and bake a cake and light some candles (even though pagans once ate cake and lit candles). It’s okay.

Unless your Melissa Sue Anderson, in which case do us all a favor and just stay home.

OUTTAKES #037

THE B-LIST: QUESTIONABLE MUSICAL MOMENTS #11 – NAKED SPACE

Patrick MacNee, Leslie Neilson, and Cindy Williams in a parody of Alien and other outer space creature features? What could possibly go wrong?

Ah, if only the bad guys were always so up front about their intentions, things would be so much easier wouldn’t it? But as many Catholics (heck, religious people in general) are learning through the recent attempts by the United States Department of Health and Human Services’ to crap all over the first amendment, sometimes it takes awhile before a person or organization’s true colors are revealed. And while there has been some completely justified “I told you so” finger wagging going on towards particular individuals who should have known better, I don’t think it’s being overly charitable to accept that a lot of people of good faith were truly surprised by what’s occurred. And as for the rest of us who warned of the possibility of these kind of things, did we honestly do enough to stop it from reaching this point?

Let’s face it, a lot of us dropped the ball. It happens, and the Catechism recognizes this. “Faced with a moral choice, conscience can make either a right judgment in accordance with reason and the divine law or, on the contrary, an erroneous judgment that departs from them. Man is sometimes confronted by situations that make moral judgments less assured and decision difficult. BUT he must always seriously seek what is right and good and discern the will of God expressed in divine law. To this purpose, man strives to interpret the data of experience and the signs of the times assisted by the virtue of prudence, by the advice of competent people, and by the help of the Holy Spirit and his gifts.”

In short, we live and we learn to do better next time. We should all be wide awake now to what’s going on. Let’s stay that way. Because next time the bad guys may not play their hand too soon and let us know they intend to eat our faces off.