SHORT FEATURE: KATE BUSH – EXPERIMENT IV

The attempt to read through the Catechism in one year as part of the Year of Faith continues, and as often happens around these parts, my brain is making some pretty weird pop culture associations. For instance, the reading for Day 15 immediately brought to mind this old sci-fi influenced music video…

So, I suppose you might be wondering what in the world a woman warbling about weaponized sound could possibly have to do with the Catechism? Well, just take a gander at paragraph 102:

“Through all the words of Sacred Scripture, God speaks only one single Word, his one Utterance in whom he expresses himself completely: You recall that one and the same Word of God extends throughout Scripture, that it is one and the same Utterance that resounds in the mouths of all the sacred writers, since he who was in the beginning God with God has no need of separate syllables; for he is not subject to time.”

I’m pretty sure you can spot the dichotomy that set my mind to musing. While Kate’s song is about a single manmade sound that induces instant death, the Catechism, riffing on St. Augustine, describes The Word as a single-syllable utterance by God that echoes throughout eternity and brings life to us all. You know, the Catechism might not delve into poetic territory too often, but that image of Jesus as God’s single note that sparks all of creation is vividly expressive. Is it any wonder that C. S. Lewis appears to have co-opted Augustine’s train of thought with his description of Aslan’s creation of Narnia through the use of song in The Magician’s Nephew.

“In the darkness something was happening at last. A voice had begun to sing… Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. There was hardly even a tune. But it was, beyond comparison, the most beautiful noise ever heard.”

Nice, huh? I like that there’s passages in the Catechism that brings these type of associations to mind. It’s too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that what we’re reading through is nothing more than a bloodless textbook when in fact it can be a guide to some of the most beautiful things that “whoever has ears ought to hear.”

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN VI

As those who have have been hanging around here for the past few years know, the approach of Halloween means that the time has come once again for the B-Movie Catechism to present it’s annual suggestions for cheap and easy to make costumes based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months. We offer this yearly service to help out those Christians who might find many of the costumes offered in the stores to be either a bit too demonic or (as is becoming more or more likely these days) just too uncomfortably close to being nude to wear to their church’s annual Scarecrow Carnival or Hallowed Be Thy Name Festival, and would prefer something with a little more spiritual meaning behind it (even if, in most instances, you have to look pretty hard to find said meaning) without resorting to the usual shepherds, angels, or nuns (not that Sister Julie thinks there’s anything wrong with a nun costume here or there).

To start things off, here’s one you want find in any store. It’s everybody’s favorite giant monster from Denmark, REPTILICUS! Now I can hear you asking, just how exactly is someone supposed to dress up like a Godzilla-sized flying snake that spits acidic loogies? Well, the answer is simple… any way you want to. You see, no matter what you come up with, it’s going to look better than the pathetic creature that actually appeared in the movie, a creation widely acknowledged as one of the worst special effects ever committed to celluloid. Still, if you need some help with the design, we suggest you dress all in black from head to toe and then simply make yourself a paper bag dragon puppet or a dragon sock puppet to wear on your arm. Trust us, it won’t look any worse than what the Danes put onscreen. Plus, when people ask just what it is you’re supposed to be, you can explain all about the origins of your outfit and maybe even bring up the questions Reptilicus raises about miracles. (P.S. You can also recycle this costume and use it as part of a VBS skit on the fall of man in Genesis. How you handle the pre-fig leaf Adam and Eve is your own problem though.)

If you don’t have time for arts and crafts and would prefer something you can just throw together from stuff in the attic, then here’s the perfect getup for you. Although, there’s not much to be had in the way of costumes in INCUBUS, all you really need to dress up as the virtuous ex-soldier Marc is an everyday black long-sleeved t-shirt, an overcoat, and a good amount of hair gel. Oh, and a William Shatner impersonation. C’mon, everybody’s got one, so go ahead and let yours rip. After all, as Incubus showed us, there’s nothing like the irony in hearing the suave tones of the ever amorous Captain Kirk giving an impassioned plea for no sex before marriage. And you don’t have to stop there. Why not treat the world to Shatner quoting from the Bible. Sure, he’s Jewish, so to keep things honest you’d have to stick with the Old Testament, but wouldn’t that still be great? “I… the LORD… am your God… who… brought you out of the land of Egypt, that… place… of slavery. You… shall not… have other gods besides… me.” Bonus points if you sing-speak it.

Now unlike Incubus, there is no shortage of costume ideas in our next film because there are a veritable pants load of monsters to be found in NIGHTBREED. Unfortunately, unless you’ve got access to a professional makeup artist and a special effects crew, chances are pretty slim that you’ll be able to dress up as one of the varied citizens of Midian. Well, except for maybe Ohnaka. You remember him don’t you? He’s that effeminate dude who dresses like a reject from a Pride parade and carries around a Boston Terrier all the time. Pretty much all you would need to dress up as Ohnaka is a bald wig (assuming you’re not already hairless), a few temporary tattoos, some clip-on nipple rings, and a tiny dog, preferably of the shake-and-pee variety. A warning, though. Considering how the Catechism states that “life and physical health are precious gifts entrusted to us by God. We must take reasonable care of them.”, it would probably be wise to take care what neighborhoods you plan to wear this costume in, as a walk through the wrong ones could get you a thump up side the head. On the plus side, a little personal harassment could always serve as a reminder that we should treat those with certain inclinations in the way the Catechism suggests, “with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.”

If that sounds just a bit too heavy for what has basically become a kids holiday, then why not just stick with a classic monster? For this one, all you need to do is grab an old red tarp, spray some shellac on it, and, tah dah, you’re THE BLOB! If you think about it, it’s the perfect costume for Halloween because it gives you the excuse to glide and slide and creep and leap around, all the time eating everything you see. And if someone happens to complain as their bag of treats disappears into your maw, then just tell them you’re giving them a demonstration on the evils of the capital vice of gluttony. They’ll buy that one, right?

Well, that should help out the more adventurous of you with your costumes this year. Have fun, but be sure not to let the next morning’s candy induced stomach ache keep you away from mass on All Saints Day. Happy Happy Halloween everyone.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

You know, we always have some fun during this time of the year here at The B-Movie Catechism, but we’re hardly the only ones. Quite a few folks out there in the Catholic blogosphere are enjoying the Halloween season as well.

First off, while we’ve already mentioned Simcha Fisher’s Twelve Movies To Terrify Your Kids, a list we just had to follow up with one of our own, we thought we’d point it out again because the combox over there has filled up with dozens of great scary movie suggestions from readers. Scanning the posts, however, it doesn’t appear that Ridley Scott’s Prometheus is on anyone’s list yet. Well, that is unless you happen to believe the rumors that it’s shown up on the Vatican’s "Index of Forbidden Films.” Does it? You’ll just have to go to The Catholic World Report to find out. (Here’s a hint: there is no such thing as an index of forbidden films.)

Now with all those movies suggestions, it’s easy to forget there are some spooky stories out there to read as well. Julie and Scott over at the A Good Story Is Hard To Find podcast are discussing some of the spiritual implications in the works of everybody’s favorite prophet of doom H.P. Lovecraft, while Joe Wetterling takes some time at The Baptized Imagination to revisit the novel Dracula and point out some Christ figures that appear to face the Son of the Dragon.

The classics are great, of course, but if you’re looking for something new, then how about some zombies? The Cari part of Clan Donaldson seems to love the little rotters, so imagine her delight in discovering Ora et Labora et Zombies, a “Catholic” zombie novel written by Ryan Charles Trusell. Much like Dracula, the novel is written in the form of a series of personal letters, however, what makes Ora et Labora et Zombies unique is that each letter (or chapter) is actually mailed directly to your home once a week. Neat, huh? You can find out more over at Cari’s blog. And speaking of shambling corpses, just in case you think the genre is about played out, Rebecca over at In The Tangle has a few words to say In Defense of Zombies, their appeal to Catholics, and why their current popularity spells very good things for our culture at large.

Now, based on all that, you might have gotten the notion that this time of year is about nothing more than getting goosebumps for Halloween. That’s not true, of course, but the fact is that there just aren’t that many movies about All Saints Day (at least not that many without those pesky zombies). So if you want to have a little fun with the actual Church holiday, you’re going to have to make your own. So why not head on over to Acts of The Apostasy for Larry’s first ever annual All Saints Day Limerick Contest and join in the fun? Puns are most welcome.

So get out there and haunt some other sites, but be sure to head back here when you’re done. We’ve still got some treats in store before Halloween rolls around.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: BLESS THE CHILD

“In this supernatural horror story, Jenna (Angela Bettis), an unstable young woman, gives birth to a girl named Cody who proves to be autistic; unable to care for her properly, she turns Cody over to her sister, psychiatric nurse Maggie O'Connell (Kim Basinger). Maggie raises Cody as her own, but when the child (now played by Holliston Coleman) turns six, Jenna and her new husband Eric (Rufus Sewell) forcibly take back the child. Maggie believes Jenna and Eric are not fit parents, but when she takes the matter up with detective John Travis (Jimmy Smits), they discover that a number of children born on the same day as Cody have also been abducted recently. Even worse, it seems that Cody may now be in the hands of Satanists who, in accordance with Biblical prophecy, believe the little girl may be mankind's last line of defense against ultimate evil. Based on a novel by Cathy Cash Spellman, Bless the Child also stars Christina Ricci and Ian Holm.” – rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“Jump, Cody, jump. If you believe in God, jump. And if not, you come to me. What do you believe in, Cody? My hand - it's here, you can see it. Satan rules it and it will protect you always... Or his hand? Is it there? Or isn't it? Will he catch you or not? If you believe, Cody, jump. JUMP!” – Erik Stark, Cult Leader

“Then the devil took him to the holy city, and made him stand on the parapet of the temple, 6and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down. For it is written: ‘He will command his angels concerning you’ and ‘with their hands they will support you, lest you dash your foot against a stone.” – Matthew 4:5,6

You know, while there may be a whole lot of Catholics using contraceptives these days, Satan, whom you think would be a fan, doesn’t seem to be too fond of the things. Well, that’s if the movies are any indication, because it sure seems like every time Old Scratch makes a booty call on film, a kid shows up nine months later. Think about it. You’ve got Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, End Of Days, 666: The Child, The Calling… well, there’s more but you get the point. So it’s kind of a nice change of pace when you run across a flick like Bless The Child where instead of the birth of yet another mewling little antichrist you get a movie about the coming of a future saint. A saint whom… a bunch of Satanists want to try and corrupt into becoming the antichrist. Hey, it’s a movie, you gotta have some conflict, right?

Actually, despite the sarcasm, it’s that very spiritual conflict which earns this movie a spot on our holy horrors film festival. You see, the film adaptation of Bless The Child pretty much guts the ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ storyline of the original novel (Egyptian goddesses, all-powerful mystical amulets, globe hopping adventurers) and condenses the narrative down to a battle for one soul as filtered through the lens of a surprisingly Catholic worldview. And I’m not just talking about the visuals. After all, a movie like Night Of The Demons 2 is set in and around a Catholic school run by nuns, but nobody would ever accuse its story of taking place in a universe operating under the tenets of even the merest Christianity, much less full blown Catholicism. Bless The Child, on the other hand, does just that.

For example, in this movie God and the devil are quite real, but as pointed out in the Catechism’s section on fallen angels (CCC 391-395), Satan is not God’s equal, he’s just some punk trying to ruin things for everybody in the same way he ruined it for himself. He accomplishes this mainly in two ways. He has his demons (goofy CGI creations barely above SyFy standards) flit around and influence his followers (who are all hilariously Goths for some reason) to cause harm to others, and he tries to tempt the followers of God (even marginal ones like Kim Basinger’s lapsed Catholic & Jimmy Smits ex-seminarian) to abandon belief in God and make up their own rules. As for the other side, while there is some obligatory car chases and gunplay, the good guys mainly fight back against the forces of evil by relying on the intercession of the saints (the little girl actually receives a message directly from Mary), the help of angels (who tend to show up in the form of friendly strangers at just the right time), and lots and lots of prayer (the outcome of the entire final battle is actually affected by a group of nuns who aren’t even onsite, but rather back at the church on their knees in front of the tabernacle). Nothing major happens in the film to contradict long held Christian beliefs.

I know, right? Who would of thought Hollywood had it in them? Look, I’m not saying Bless The Child is any kind of classic (the pros at Metacritic called it one of the worst movies of the year while the user reviews put it at just above average), but just this once I’ll happily sit through stuff like underdeveloped characters (Why exactly did Smit’s character leave seminary? Why does Basinger’s character say she prefers a school that’s not too religious and yet send her niece to one run by habited nuns? In fact, how the heck did she even find a school run by habited nuns in the first place?) and nonsensical special effects (Why does a holy child have the power to spin plates with her mind? Are we in need of a patron saint of dishwashers or something?) just to finally, FINALLY, get a script written by people who paid attention during their religious education classes.

THINGS TO COME: LEFT BEHIND (THE REBOOT)

Normally on Things To Come I present a trailer or news article about an upcoming movie and proceed to offer some snarky commentary, but for this…

Variety reports that “Nicolas Cage is in negotiations to topline "Left Behind," a mainstream reboot of the Christian-themed movie trilogy that will mark the first film from Stoney Lake Entertainment, a new production company led by Paul Lalonde of faith-oriented banner Cloud Ten Pictures… [the] project, budgeted in the $15 million range, was shopped at last year's American Film Market. Production is expected to begin in early spring with an eye toward wide release in the fourth quarter of 2013. Lalonde told Variety that there is a theatrical guarantee in place from distributor Samuel Goldwyn Films.”

… for the news that Nick Cage may be starring in a reboot of the world’s most popular dispensationalist thriller series… I’m just gonna let that one stand all on its on.

THE B-LIST: MOVIES TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN NIGHTMARES (OR THE GIGGLES, YOU NEVER CAN TELL WITH KIDS)

It’s that time of year again where Christian parents try to find some scary movies to share with their kids on Halloween that won’t compromise their youngsters moral development or traumatize them into needing years of therapy. Over at the NCR, Simcha Fisher has a post up addressing the topic entitled Twelve Movies To Terrify Your Kids, and she has some nice suggestions such as Arachnophobia, Tremors, and The Birds. But of course, this blog being what it is, I couldn’t help but think of a few more PG rated goodies that fit the bill.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Fans of the original Bradbury story are usually a little let down by this Walt Disney adaptation and even non-fans will spot plenty of flaws, but for the little ones this is a pretty decent creepfest. You’ve got a bed full of spiders, the devilish Mr. Dark and his spooky lady friend The Dust Witch, and even some glimpses into the terrors of old age. And it’s all set in the month of October, so the timing is just right. (Disney’s The Watcher In the Woods makes a fine double feature with this, by the way.)

TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE

Oh sure, if you can get your kids to watch the classic black and white television series, then by all means do so. Their IQ’s will thank you later. But if the little darlings just have to have color in their movies, then this Spielberg produced homage is the next best thing. Sufferers of ADHD may zone out (slight pun intended) a little during the first couple of segments (old people kicking a can, zzzzzz), but if you can get them to hang in there until Joe Dante’s cartoonish It’s A Good Life and George Miller’s over the top Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, you’re guaranteed to get some shrieks and laughs from them.

THE WITCHES

Based on the book by Roald Dahl (who knows a thing or two about creepy things), this is the kind of movie that parents find amusing and entertaining, but which gives many kids the absolute heebie jeebies. Anjelica Huston in full nose and warts makeup… pure nightmare fuel.

PROPHECY

I know, a late 70’s ecological horror movie may sound like a weird choice (okay, it is a weird choice), but hear me out. The monsters are icky, some of the bad hairdos are back in fashion, and the film has a surprisingly pro-life undertone. And besides, once your kids see the sleeping bag scene, they’ll thank you for the rest of their lives.

KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE

Okay, so this one’s rated PG-13, but come on, it’s Killer Klowns. The whole setup is like Goosebumps on steroids. Space aliens resembling circus clowns descend upon a town and begin collecting the citizenry in order to turn them into cotton candy. They’re armed with carnivorous popcorn ray guns, flesh dissolving ice cream, and a very lethal version of the old spring loaded boxing glove in a gift box gag. Plus, did I mention that they’re clowns. Haven’t you people ever heard of coulrophobia?

THE GATE

Another PG-13 goodie, this time just because it’s probably a little too creepy to be PG. Not many kids will be able to resist this tale of some young pre-teens who get left at home by themselves for the weekend and accidentally end up unleashing a pants load of pint-sized demons from a hole in their backyard. The effects are top notch for such a low budget movie and there are some genuine scares (most notably the dead workman living in between the walls), but the big surprise is that all of the kids are actually likable. Try and find that in more recent films.

THE BLOB

And to close things out, it’s hard to go wrong with a classic. Now if your kids are old enough to handle extreme gore, I would almost suggest the 1988 remake, but it’s really unnecessary as the original is just fine the way it is. The Blob is one of those monsters that kids laugh until later when they’re alone. That’s when they start thinking about it seeping out of a faucet into their bath or oozing underneath the window seal next to their bed. Yes kiddies, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides…

So there you have it. My suggestions for a fun and creepy Halloween movie night with the kids. No torture porn, no bare breasts, nothing to confess to but the thrills and chills that come with things that go bump in the night. You know, like a head rolling down the stairs. So, any other suggestions out there?

A STRANGE (AND POWERFUL) LOVE: OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE NEW EVANGELIZATION

“Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost, if you KEEP it a SECRET! Why didn't you tell the world, EH?” – Dr. Strangelove

As noted in the my last post, The B-Movie Catechism will be participating in the Year of Faith by, among other things, having another go at reading through the entire Catechism in one year. In fact, I’m going to follow the advice of regular commenter Xena and not just read the CCC, but pray it with Lectio Divina. And since part of Lectio Divina is to “pause and recall if some word or phrase stood out or something touched one’s heart” I thought, hey, maybe a few times a week I could use that as fodder for rambling blog posts share anything interesting that might come to mind while reflecting on the readings. Oh, and obsessively find a way to connect it to some movie, of course. This is The B-Movie Catechism, after all. If you want heavyweight commentary, it’s probably a good idea to find a blog that doesn’t use a Zuni Fetish Doll as its avatar.

So what stuck out during the very first day? Well, since a part of the Year of Faith is to promote The New Evangelization, I couldn’t help but be struck by how much the first ten paragraphs of the CCC concentrate on… wait for it… evangelization. Paragraph 1 appropriately starts with explaining how “God sent his Son as Redeemer and Savior” but then paragraph 2 immediately jumps into “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” and then keeps on going with stuff like “Those who with God's help have welcomed Christ's call and freely responded to it are urged on by love of Christ to proclaim the Good News everywhere in the world.”

Look, I know a lot of Catholics are uncomfortable with the idea of verbally communicating their faith to others. At least I know I am, preferring the idea of ‘show, don’t tell’ when it comes to living breathing face to face conversations. But the Catechism seems pretty clear in reminding us that Christianity is a ‘show AND tell’ kind of religion. And why shouldn’t it be? After all, if what we believe is true, then we’re talking about developing a deeply personal relationship with the creative force of the universe, a love affair with the mind of eternity played out through the mundane actions of our day to day lives (clever people will catch onto the fact that I just described a sacramental marriage, probably one of the reasons why God calls the Church his bride), so why wouldn’t we want to use every means at our disposal to share access to that with others? It’s kind of like that famous quote from Dr. Strangelove wherein Peter Seller’s titular character laments the fact that the Russians didn’t announce their doomsday weapon until after it had been triggered. What good is having a thing of such ultimate consequence if you never bother telling anyone about it until it’s too late? And what could possibly be of more consequence than our personal relationship with God? Why aren’t we telling the world, EH?

NOW SHOWING: THE YEAR OF FAITH

I’m sure everyone will remember this conversation from Beetlejuice:

Barbara: I hate this. Just… can you give me the basics?

Adam: Well, this book isn't arranged that way. What do you wanna know?

Barbara: Well, why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we halfway to heaven? Are we halfway to hell? And... how long is this gonna last?

Adam: I don't see anything about heaven OR hell. This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: "Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.” Oh, this is gonna take some time, honey.

You know, I can kind of sympathize with the ghosts of Adam and Barbara as they struggle with The Handbook For The Recently Deceased. Why? Because I’ve spent my fair share of time trudging through Church documents, that’s why? Apostolic Exhortations, Letters & Constitutions. Papal Enycyclicals. Moto Propios. The Code of Canon Law. Don’t get me wrong, some of them are beautiful. But some of them make stereo instructions seem like the works of Shakespeare. Despite the truths they contain, the dense writing style in some of those documents can be overwhelming, especially for the person who is just beginning to develop an interest in delving deeper into the philosophy and teachings of the Church.

That’s why it was such a big deal when the Catechism first hit the streets in 1992, offering as it did “a statement of the Church's faith and of Catholic doctrine, attested to or illumined by Sacred Scripture, the Apostolic Tradition and the Church's Magisterium.” Pope John Paul II went on to declare the Catechism “a sure norm for teaching the faith and thus a valid and legitimate instrument for ecclesial communion.” Given all that, a person could do a lot worse than actually taking the time to read through the thing. 

Now, as I embarrassingly forgot, but Cari over at Clan Donaldson fortunately remembered, Flocknote is providing a program that will allow you to read through the Catechism over the course of one year as a part of the Year of Faith. Here’s how it works.

“Every morning you'll receive an email with everything you need to read for that day. Additionally, if you're interested, you can click the "View or Reply" button at the bottom of any email and it will jump you to a page where we can all comment and converse about that day's reading as a community.  (Tweeters can use #Catechism, too.)

Do your little bit each day and it will be easy. And you'll also learn why the Catechism is one of the great treasures of our Church.

If you get behind...catch up (or just jump ahead)! We're in this thing together. As of right now, there are about 27,000 other people doing this with you! And the list is still growing.”

I’ve already read through the Catechism once using this guide from the Coming Home Network, but I’m signed up with Flocknote to do so again. After all, since I’ve got the word Catechism in my blog title, it’s probably not a bad idea to keep brushing up on it. Anyway, feel free to join in if you feel so inclined. Just keep in mind what everybody’s favorite alleged deathbed convert Oscar Wilde once said, “It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.”

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: RERELEASES

In our last post, we kicked off our October long holy horrors film festival with a look at the cult classic The Wicker Man. Coming up soon we’ll have even more never before reviewed films that mash up the heebie jeebies with religious content (while skipping the obligatory exorcisms and dispirited priests). But first, just for the completests out there, we thought we’d rerelease some previously reviewed films that covered pretty much the same territory.

THE SENTINEL

Sometimes the Church asks hard things of us. In The Sentinel, the task at hand just happens to involve a closetful of the best horrors hell has to offer. Who’s up for such a job? Why, supermodel Cristina Raines of course.

SOULKEEPER

Sadly, not everybody can be a supermodel. But as Soulkepper shows us, God can make pretty good use out of losers as well.

PRINCE OF DARKNESS

In fact, God can pretty much make use of anybody, even non-believers. Which is a good thing since in Prince Of Darkness the Church has been hiding a few faith-shaking facts that would make Dan Brown’s head spin. What are they? Best to watch the movie and find out for yourself, but we’d suggest studying a bit of quantum physics first.

INCUBUS

However, if you’d rather not brush up on your physics and would prefer a simple tale of good versus evil (or at least William Shatner versus a sweet young demon), then you might want to take in Incubus instead. The movie was filmed entirely in Esperanto, but don’t worry if you don’t know how to speak the language, none of the actors did either.

Well, that should be enough movies to keep you busy until the next new review. If anybody out there has some suggestions that fit the criteria for this film festival, be sure to pass them along. See you next time.

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: THE WICKER MAN (1973)

So it’s Halloween season and you’re in the mood to settle in with some good religious themed genre movies, but you really can’t stand the thought of watching one more flick about exorcism or miserable priests on the verge of losing their faith? Well, not to worry, you’ve come to the right place, because all throughout October the B-Movie Catechism is throwing a holy horrors spookfest highlighting films with religious content, but nary an exorcism or dispirited priest in sight (well, maybe one or two, they’re kind of hard to avoid in movies). To get things started we have…

“A righteous police officer investigating the disappearance of a young girl comes into conflict with the unusual residents of a secluded Scottish isle in this unsettling, intelligent chiller. Brought to the island of Summerisle by an anonymous letter, Edward Woodward's constable is surprised to discover that the island's population suspiciously denies the missing girl's very existence. Even more shocking, at least to the traditionally pious law office, the island is ruled by a libertarian society organized around pagan rituals. Repelled by the open acceptance of sexuality, nature worship, and even witchcraft, the officer takes an antagonistic attitude towards the people and their leader, an eccentric but charming English lord (Christopher Lee). The officer's unease intensifies as he continues his investigation, slowly coming to fear that the girl's disappearance may be linked in a particularly horrifying manner to an upcoming public festival. Anthony Shaffer's meticulously crafted screenplay creates a thoroughly convincing alternative society, building tension through slow discovery and indirect suggestion and making the terrifying climax all the more effective. Performances are also perfectly tuned, with Woodward suitably priggish as the investigator and horror icon Lee delivering one of his most accomplished performances as Lord Summerisle. Little noticed during its original theatrical run due to studio edits and a limited release, the film's intelligence and uncanny tone has since attracted a devoted cult following.” – Rovi’s AllMovie Guide

“Animals are fine, but their acceptability is limited. A little child is even better, but not nearly as effective as the right kind of adult.” – Lord Summerisle

“You shall not offer any of your offspring for immolation to Molech, thus profaning the name of your God. I am the LORD.” – Leviticus 18:21

As you can tell by the use of the word ‘intelligent’ in the above synopsis, we are most definitely not talking about the laughable reimagining of The Wicker Man from 2006 in which the only frightening thing to be found was Nick Cage over-emoting while dressed in a bear suit. No, we’re talking about the 1973 original, a movie that for whatever reason is usually lumped into the supernatural horror category, but is actually more of a well written and acted mystery with a great soundtrack and a somewhat disturbing ending. I suppose it gets classified as horror because it stars Christopher Lee and deals with an entire community which has returned to a form of pagan worship, a thought that was probably still kind of creepy back in the early 70s. Of course, these days, you can find pagan wannabes in just about every town (usually in small shops selling ankhs, incense, and COEXIST bumper stickers), so that part of the movie isn’t as shocking as it likely once was. But that’s okay, because shocks aren’t really what The Wicker Man is all about anyway.

What really drives the narrative in the film, and therefore makes it perfect for kicking off our holy horrors film festival, is the conflict between the beliefs of the Christian policeman (possibly Catholic, probably conservative Anglican) and the pagan-esque townspeople. The script smartly plays everything evenhanded, simply presenting each person’s beliefs as they are with no editorial and leaving it up to the viewer to decide which side is preferable (at least until the climax smacks you in the face and makes the choice obvious to all but a few select lunatics). It’s true that the pagans are depicted as mostly genial while the Christian could use a bit more ‘joy of the Lord’, but you have to keep in mind that the Christian is the one alone in alien territory being confronting with things hostile to his belief system. For instance, when Sergeant Howie leaves the Green Man Inn to escape the lecherous song being sung about the landlord’s daughter (a sing-along which her own father is taking part in by the way), he runs smack dab into a park full of people in various states of copulation. Who can say that their own reaction to such a situation would be any less prudish than the Sergeant’s, so it’s kind of hard to cast any stones. Plus the townspeople spend a good deal of their time actively trying to get the Christian to act against his beliefs, not exactly what you’d call ecumenical behavior on their part. And finally there is the small fact that the villagers appear to be blatantly impeding Howie’s investigation into what could be a murder. Christian or not, that’s bound to cause you to act like you have a stick up your butt.

But forget all that stuff until your second viewing, because despite the excellent acting, the haunting soundtrack, and the interesting inter-faith back and forth, it is the conclusion of the film that usually sticks with most people the first time they watch The Wicker Man. And the inevitability of what happens in the final scene is bound to leave Christians with plenty of food for thought as the end credits roll, especially considering that, as noted above, people like the residents of Summerisle appear to be growing in number these days. Are we, like Sergeant Howie, prepared to uphold our beliefs under society’s (or at least government’s) slow but steady trickle away from traditional Christianity and towards a smorgasbord of neo-paganistic spiritualties and good old fashioned secularism? How far are we willing to take it? Bishop Richard J. Malone of Buffalo, in his recent homily given on the day of his installation, believes the time has come to embrace the concept of the modern martyr.

“A martyr is… in the most literal sense a witness.” Bishop Malone said, “And a witness is anyone whose discipleship is so authentic, so deep, so uncompromising, so credible that she or he is ready and willing, with God's grace, to give all, surrender all, to Christ and the truth he has revealed ... And to do so in the face of fear, loss, scorn, rejection, suffering, even death. It is total self-giving in response to Christ’s love poured out for us from the Cross.” The Bishop’s definition of martyrs is spot on, of course, but is he really asking all of us Christians to get ready to die? Does he think we live in China or Nigeria or someplace like that? Well, no, not yet. And he doesn’t think the streets are crawling with neo-pagans dressed in animal masks and women’s clothing looking to do nasty things to us either (for right now they’re content to use the Congress and the courts). Rather, His excellency is talking about a new form of martyrdom.

“For some, like [Saint] Lawrence” the Bishop continued, “the witness's surrender rises to a dramatic climax, like death on a grill. For most of us, though, our witness is a matter of persevering commitment to Christ and the Gospel, a daily dying to self, again and again, in large things and small. And this can be attempted in a wholesome, healthy and life-giving way only with profound hope, and even, paradoxically, real joy… We need the martyrs' conviction, courage, tenacity and selflessness--and hope-- to stand up in our increasingly relativistic society in defense of these truths and values so threatened in our time.” So what the Bishop is getting at is that while we may not have to worry about immolation or other such fates, if we stand by our convictions in the coming years, we may very well have to suffer through ridicule, isolation, loss of status, limited opportunities, and so on. Sure, it may not be as flashy as facing The Wicker Man, but hey, you take the martyrdom you’re given.