PULP CATHOLICISM #070

THINGS TO COME: CHRISTOPHER LEE – METAL KNIGHT

What do you give a bonafide screen legend on his 92nd birthday? How about an album release date? By the time this post is actually up (it’s been a long busy weekend), digital stores everywhere should be offering the new EP from Sir Christopher Lee entitled Metal Knight, a concept album based around the character of Don Quixote. Here’s a sneak peek…

Christopher Lee belting out My Way? Why not! Besides, it certainly fits in with his take on the iconic character. “As far as I am concerned, Don Quixote is the most metal fictional character that I know.” Lee is quoted as saying, “Single-handed, he is trying to change the world, regardless of any personal consequences. It is a wonderful character to sing.”

Such an interpretation of Quixote might just appeal to Fr. Dwight Longenecker, who finds in the fictional character a role model of sorts for Catholics. He writes…

“How can we evangelize such a people? I believe the only way is through radical discipleship. The world needs to see today, what the pagan world saw in the early Christians. They need to see radiant, courageous, joyful and uncompromising Catholics. They need to see and hear such Catholics who will stand up and fight for the truth with the zeal and good humor of the martyrs… These Catholics will march forward with full knowledge that the world thinks them fools. They will be Don Quixote Catholics–tilting at windmills, reading the old books, wearing a bedpan for a helmet and brandishing as a sword the Scriptures and as a dagger the Catechism. The will defend the weak, support the poor and love the sinner. That kind of  Quixote Catholicism will Evangelize the West and nothing else.”

How about that? From Count Dracula to heavy metal music to Don Quixote to Fr. Dwight Longenecker. I’ve gotta say, getting to make connections like that are one the reasons I write this blog.

SHORT FEATURE: EX-MEN – GAMBIT

Well, they’ve finally introduced time travel into the X-Men movies with X-Men: Days of Future Past, which I reviewed for Aleteia this week. That means the movies can now be as utterly confusing as the books. Hooray! On the positive side, there was no Gambit this time around. Sorry, I know the 90s thought he was cool, but I just missed the Gambit boat entirely. Alas, word is Channing Tatum is probably going to play the character in future movies, but at least for right now, we’re free of Gambit’s ridiculous loser Cajun self. What, is that uncharitable? Hey, even Professor X thinks he’s lame. Just watch and see. (Warning: slight profanity and general rudeness alert.)

Definitely a dysfunctional workplace, wouldn’t you say? I guess neither Gambit nor Professor X are experts on the Fourth Commandment. What’s that, you ask? Doesn’t the fourth commandment just tell us to honor our parents? Well, yes, but we have to remember that The Ten Commandments are much more than just a set of moral sound bytes.

As the Catechism reminds us, the principals inherent in the Fourth Commandment also cover other relationships which have one party in a position of authority, including the employer/employee relationship. It states, “God's fourth commandment also enjoins us to honor all who for our good have received authority in society from God. It clarifies the duties of those who exercise authority as well as those who benefit from it… It extends to the duties of pupils to teachers, employees to employers, subordinates to leaders, citizens to their country, and to those who administer or govern it. This commandment includes and presupposes the duties of parents, instructors, teachers, leaders, magistrates, those who govern, all who exercise authority over others or over a community of persons.”

Oh well, even if the Professor takes all this stuff about the Fourth Commandment to heart, I suppose it’s too late to do poor ol’ Gambit any good (which doesn’t really bother me, if I’m being honest). Maybe it’ll help out the next person in his office, though. I mean, Shatterstar and Longshot can’t be too far behind, can they?

PULP CATHOLICISM #069

SHORT FEATURE: GODZILLA – BAD DAYS

As if there was ever any doubt that I was going to, this week for Aleteia I reviewed Gareth Edwards’ brand new take on Godzilla. Now, in the review I do my movie critic shtick and bring up a few things about the film that could be sticking points for some people, especially those who aren’t familiar with how Godzilla movies work (two or three monster fights and a LOT of goofy human stuff). But that’s for over there. Around these parts, I’m pretty sure folks know their Godzilla movies, so I can probably just get by with saying this is a really good one and let it go at that.

And it looks like I’m not the only one who liked it. The latest figures over at Deadline Hollywood indicate Godzilla is going to have the largest international opening of the year so far, probably in the neighborhood of $103 million. It’s good to be the King of the Monsters I suppose. Well, this weekend anyway. Come Monday, who knows? I bet even Godzilla has his bad days sometimes…

Looks like the Big G could do with saying a Hail Mary or two. No, seriously. According to Dr. Herbert Benson, director of the Mind/Body Medical Institute in Chestnut Hill, Mass., repetitive prayers like the Rosary are excellent ways of dealing with stress.

According to Dr. Benson, “Stress evokes a flight response. It prepares you for running or fighting… Physically, blood pressure rises, the heart beats faster and brain waves speed up… These are the results of hormones rushing into use… Most of the time people under stress don’t run or fight, but the hormones are still rushing through their bodies… Repetition breaks the train of everyday thoughts that can cause stress, like worrying about an accident, losing money or worrying that there is a terrorist ahead… It’s not even necessary to repeat the entire Hail Mary, just repeat ‘Hail Mary full of grace’ over and over.” Of course, Dr. Benson forgot to mention the added benefit of receiving Mary’s intervention when you say the Rosary, but since he’s Jewish, we’ll give him a pass on that one.

PULP CATHOLICISM #068

THE B-LIST: EIGHT MOVIE WOMEN WHO ARE NOT MODELS OF MOTHERHOOD

Heads up, Christian mommy bloggers, it looks like someone has tried to make a movie especially for you. And you know what, they succeeded more than they failed. Mom’s Night Out, which I reviewed for Aleteia this week, is the story of an aspiring mommy blogger who is feeling a bit overwhelmed by her daily routine and desperately needs a break. What’s interesting about the movie from a faith based perspective is that while it’s definitely aimed at a Christian audience, it actually concentrates more on the people and the punch lines than it does on the preaching. It’s not perfect, but even so, it’s a nice little comedy in the vein of old Disney movies like The North Avenue Irregulars or Superdad, with the added bonus that it doesn’t ignore the fact that lots of people still go to church. So, if you’re not in the mood to watch Seth Rogan do his foul-mouthed stoned fat guy routine in Neighbors, this is a good alternative for Mother’s Day weekend.

Speaking of which, this being a Catholic blog and all, we’re kind of fond of mothers, especially one in particular who has gotten a lot of shout outs in Church writings over the centuries. The Catechism tells us that “The Virgin Mary most perfectly embodies the obedience of faith… It is for this faith that all generations have called Mary blessed. Throughout her life and until her last ordeal when Jesus her son died on the cross, Mary's faith never wavered. She never ceased to believe in the fulfillment of God's word. And so the Church venerates in Mary the purest realization of faith.”

One of the ways this veneration has manifested itself over the centuries has been in the Church’s use of dozens of titles for Mary which reflect various praiseworthy aspects of her Christian character. One of those titles, “Mary, The Model of Motherhood”, is obviously of particular interest this Mother’s Day weekend because it suggests that some of Mary’s other titles might be ones which point to character traits that all moms (and dads as well) might do well to try and emulate. But that’s easier said than done isn’t it? In fact, let’s face it, it’s often easier to point out where we fail in comparison to the Mother of God. Take, for example, the following eight movie moms. When you compare their actions to some of the titles Mary has garnered over the years, it’s clear to see these ladies might have done a few things wrong.

Who She Is: Mrs. Bates (Psycho)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Cause of Our Joy

As Fr. James Martin points out in his book Between Heaven and Mirth, Christian Joy isn’t just a mere feeling of happiness, but a deep seated response to God. That’s why, in contrast to happiness, joy can exist even in the midst of suffering. Suffice to say that Mrs. Bates brought neither happiness nor joy into the life of her child, and we all know what resulted from that kind of emotional abuse, don’t we? Yep, people went without showers for months.

Who She Is: Elsa Kast (Splice)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Throne of Wisdom

While the Catechism notes that artificial insemination and fertilization are generally considered immoral for a number of reasons, the Church does actually allow for some exceptions as long as illicit means are not used to collect the sperm. But there’s no way she would ever go for the idea of grafting your DNA onto that of animals in order to create your very own bloodthirsty hybrid child to raise. As Splice amply illustrates, the consequences for such an undeniably unwise decision go beyond moral ones.

Who She Is: Mrs. Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Mirror of Justice

While the Catechism notes that “it is praiseworthy to impose restitution to correct vices and maintain justice. If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin.” Mrs. Voorhees definitely set a bad example for her child when it came to the proper dispensation of justice.

Who She Is: Mama Fratelli (The Goonies)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Mother of Good Counsel

Do I really need to quote the Catechism to point out that instructing your kids to be gangsters, even if it’s bumbling inept ones, is not the epitome of good counsel?

Who She Is: Vera Cosgrove (Dead Alive)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Vessel of Selfless Devotion

Sure, all mothers should be selflessly devoted to their children, but such devotion should never turn a dark corner into possessiveness. The Catechism explains that “parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons.” That means, as part of a parent’s proper devotion, we have to let our children go when the time comes. Vera never really learned that lesson. Well, at least that’s the impression I got as she literally tried to shove her middle aged son back inside her womb.

Who She Is: Margaret White (Carrie)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Comfort of the Troubled

So what do you do when your daughter, with whom you’ve never discussed the facts of life, has her first menstruation in the school shower right in front of every mean girl on the class roll? Well, if you’re Margaret White, you lock her in a closet with the creepiest statue of Jesus ever made and force her to say prayers for two hours. The Lord told us in Isaiah 66:13 that “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you;".” Let’s hope he was talking about a different mom than Margaret.

Who She Is: Woman (The People Under The Stairs)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Virgin Gentle in Mercy

The Catechism notes that “the works of mercy are charitable actions by which we come to the aid of our neighbor in his spiritual and bodily necessities.” The unnamed mother in The People Under The Stairs must not have gotten that memo because her solution to providing for her neighbor’s bodily necessities was to lock them in her cellar and toss them scraps every now and then. (Also, considering her husband wore a Gimp suit half the time, I can’t vouch for the virgin part of the title either.)

Who She Is: Nola Carveth (The Brood)

The Title She Didn’t Earn: Queen of Peace

“Earthly peace is the image and fruit of the peace of Christ.” the Catechism tells us. I’m pretty sure that psychosomatically generating murderous rage-filled children from your body does nothing to engender peace, earthly or otherwise. It’s also pretty gross.

Okay, okay, that should be enough to get the point across. It’s not always easy to emulate the Mother of God. Fortunately, she knows that and is more than willing to put in a good word for us with her son. In case you’re interested, one of the more traditional ways we can ask for her intercession is by praying The Litany of The Blessed Virgin Mary. Plus, that particular prayer is also a good way to pick up a few more titles to call her by. Why not give it a try?

PULP CATHOLICISM #067

SHORT FEATURE: SPIDEY SUPER STORIES – A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

I took in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 this week for Aleteia and I have to admit it left me conflicted. My inner movie critic kept telling me I was seeing a bad film, but that other part of me who just watches movies for entertainment was having too much of a good time to listen. Oh well, that’s the way it goes sometimes. Heck, even Spidey himself has trouble mixing business with pleasure when he goes to the movies…

Okay, so how many of my fellow comic book geeks out there were doing the same thing I was during this short, which was yelling at the monitor, “It’s Goblin, not Glob! By all that’s holy, quit calling him the Green Glob!” Still, even though the show contained such errors, I remember back when I would watch an entire episode of The Electric Company just in the hope that it would be one of the ones with a Spidey’s Super Stories in it. What can I say? We couldn’t be too picky back in the days before moviemakers determined they could make millions off of comic book characters and started churning out special effects spectaculars like The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

Of course, now that they know they can make millions, that brings with it some problems of its own. It’s well known that these last two Amazing Spider-Man movies only exist because Sam Raimi didn’t want to make a Spider-Man 4 and Sony had to produce something if they wanted to keep the film rights to the character. So, the first Amazing Spider-Man was pretty much a rushed cash grab, and boy does it show. And while Part 2 is a marked improvement, it still has some extraneous material that exists only to set up future cash cow motion pictures involving spin-off characters, and those scenes hurt the movie artistically.

Believe it or not, of all people, Pope Pius XII had a problem with this kind of approach to filmmaking. In his 1957 encyclical entitled Miranda Prorsus (On the Communication Fields: Movies, Television, and Radio), he explained it this way…

“Individual citizens should be permitted to contribute, according to their abilities, to the enrichment of their own and others' intellectual and spiritual life by the use of these means of communication. But altogether contrary to Christian teaching and the primary end of these media is the purpose and intent of those who would use these inventions solely to advance and advertise political matters or to further their economic purposes, and thus treat this noble cause as if it were solely a business venture.”

That’s right, His Holiness believed that movies should never be made only as a cash grab because such an approach subverts the art form’s end purpose. In fact, the notion that he considered movies, like so many other things in creation, to have an end purpose, is interesting in and of itself.

“This should be the primary aim of motion pictures, radio, and television: to serve truth and virtue. They should serve the spread of truth so that the bonds between peoples will be made closer, so that men will have better mutual understanding and will assist one another in time of crisis, and, finally so that there will be genuine cooperation between public authority and individual citizens. To serve truth means more than simply to refrain entirely from falsehood, lies, and deceit; it means shunning everything that can encourage a way of life and action that is false, imperfect, or harmful to others. But above all let the truths that have been given us by God's revelation be held sacred and inviolable. Rather, these noble means of communication should be directed particularly to this end: that they might spread the teachings of God and of His Son, Jesus Christ, "and instill into the minds of men that Christian truth which alone can provide men with the strength from above which will enable them, with calmness and courage, to overcome the perils of this present age, and to endure its trials." But it is not enough that these new inventions serve truth; they must also perfect human life and morals. They can contribute to this end in three ways which We intend to discuss: by announcing the news; by educating; by entertaining.”

For obvious reasons around these parts, we think it’s important to point out that last sentence where the Pope made it clear that movies made simply to function as entertainment can still serve truth, virtue, and the perfection of morals. That’s always been our philosophy both here and over at Aleteia, but it sure is nice when one of the guys in the big hats backs it up.