THE B-MOVIE CATECHISM: June 2015

Sunday, June 28, 2015

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

With so much of the world gleefully falling apart right now, I doubt very many people have noticed my general lack of blogging over the past few weeks. Just in case you have, though, it’s because two broken down cars, a HVAC on the fritz, and a furnace pouring smoke into the house caused me to temporarily set aside blogging so as to earn a few extra bucks. Apparently, nobody trades repairs for cartoons or movie reviews. Fortunately, everything is almost fixed now (my broken stuff, that is, not the world), so I can get back to blogging soon.

Of course, while I’ve been preoccupied, others have more than taken up my slack when it comes to discussing faith and movies. For instance, while it’s still close to a year away, folks are beginning to wax philosophic on the upcoming Batman v. Superman movie. Over at Crisis magazine, Sean Fitzpatrick views the clash of titans as a “contemporary mythical sign of a contemporary educational disparity.” Meanwhile, Catholic Skywalker links to a priest’s perspective on the inherent heroism he hopes will emerge during the story.

Catholic Skywalker also has some words to say on the differences between the atheism of Woody Allen and that of Joss Whedon and how one of them manages to leave open the window to hope. Along those same lines, Joe Wetterling from The Baptized Imagination continues his examination of Whedon’s first big television hit and the things Buffy got right.

As long as I’m on the topic of TV, I may as well give a nod to one of the more fun new shows from last season, The Flash. Writing at Speculative Faith, Adam Graham ponders the two father figures who helped shape the titular hero, while the Aspie Catholic serves up his wish list for season 2.

All that is good fun, but I would be remiss if I didn’t bring things down a little and acknowledge the passing of Sir Christopher Lee. It’s hard to imagine this blog existing without the steady stream of Lee’s Hammer Films output I partook in as a kid. And I’m hardly the only one, as evidenced by Jason Dietz’s ode to Horror of Dracula over at the Non-Modern blog. As for Thomas L. McDonald from God and the Machine, he’s appears to be partial to The Devil Rides Out, considering it to be Lees best work (I discussed it here). As for my own fave, that’s like choosing between my children, but for today, I’ll go with The Wicker Man, which Lee himself apparently considered one of his finest performances.

And finally, just because it’s been such a rough month, I think we could all use a little cheering up, so here’s Godzilla and some pals doing a jig.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

PULP CATHOLICISM #126

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

PULP CATHOLICISM #125

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

PULP CATHOLICISM #124

Monday, June 08, 2015

THE JUKEBOX HERO HYMNAL: Hymn 026: Hear Me Lord by George Harrison

I suppose it’s odd that George Harrison remains my favorite Beatle considering how virulently anti-Catholic some of his songs can be. Still, based on lyrics such as the ones you hear in compositions like “Awaiting on You All,” it’s actually pretty easy to dismiss his criticisms as a misguided ignorance of the faith (Harrison was baptized Catholic, but never confirmed). The truth is, he doesn’t really say anything about the Church that I myself didn’t believe at one point in my life before taking the time to actually seek out the truth. It’s like the old familiar quote from Archbishop Fulton Sheen says, “There are not a hundred people in America who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions of people who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church - which is, of course, quite a different thing.” And while George hailed from jolly old England rather than the States, I think Sheen’s words still apply.

But you know, as much as I bemoan Harrison’s misconceptions about my faith, I’ve always admired his commitment to his own. While the rest of the Fab Four quickly abandoned the spiritual teachings they dabbled with in the East, Harrison himself became a lifelong devotee to the Hare Krishna strand of Hinduism up until the time of his death, doing his best to live by the religion’s beliefs. He gave up meat, gave up drugs, and limited his sexual activities to marriage, though by all accounts he was a little slow getting around to that last one. Well, nobody becomes a saint overnight, I suppose.

In fact, if his loved ones are to be believed, Harrison was never really satisfied with the pace with which he was advancing in his faith, always feeling guilt whenever he stumbled (guess it’s true, you can take the boy out of the Catholic church, but you can't take the Catholic out of the boy). Perhaps that’s why on the same album on which we find his chart topping paean to Krishna, “My Sweet Lord,” we also hear Harrison begging for help and forgiveness with “Hear Me Lord”…

Forgive me lord
Please, those years when I ignored you, hmm
Forgive them lord
Those that feel they can't afford you, hmm
Help me lord, please
To rise above this dealing, hmm
Help me lord, please
To love you with more feeling, hmm
At both ends of the road
To the left and the right
Above and below us
Out and in, there's no place that you're not in
Oh, won't you hear me lord

As with anything so blatantly religious, “Hear Me Lord” received mixed reactions, with some like sociologist Ian Inglis finding the tune a bit too evangelical and self-righteous. Others like NME’s Alan Smith and Rolling Stone’s Ben Gerson, however, recognized the song for what it was and heralded the raw emotion in the song. Of course, it probably didn’t hurt with the professional music critics that the song contained contributions from the likes of Phil Spector, Billy Preston, Gary Wright, and Eric Clapton, but still, they loved it. In the end, “Hear Me Lord” is an undeniably sincere plea to God for aid, and one that most Christians should find very familiar…

“Hear my voice, LORD, when I call; have mercy on me and answer me. ‘Come,’ says my heart, ‘seek his face’; your face, LORD, do I seek! Do not hide your face from me; do not repel your servant in anger. You are my salvation; do not cast me off; do not forsake me, God my savior!.” ~ Psalms 27:7-9

So maybe that’s why Harrison has always held the greatest appeal to me where The Beatles are concerned. Many have made the argument that Paul and Ringo were better musicians, or that Paul and John were better writers, but when it came to who was the true Psalmist of the band, well, that was George and no one but George, hands down. Godspeed, Dark Horse, I pray the Lord heard you when you called.

Saturday, June 06, 2015

WHY I REMAIN CATHOLIC

Well, if you’ve paid any attention to the Catholic blogosphere over the past week, then you’ve probably run across any number of posts responding to Elizabeth Scalia’s call out to her fellow papists to explain why they remain Catholic despite the dwindling numbers in our ranks here in the States and other places.

By now, of course, most of the good answers have been taken. We stay because it’s true, because it’s where we find grace, because we wouldn’t leave the Eucharist behind for anything. And all of those reasons (and more) are mine as well. But rather than reiterate what has been written better elsewhere, I thought I’d add one more reason which I don’t believe has been mentioned anywhere else. It’s at the bottom of the list, sure, but it’s kind of the icing on the cake. You see, one more reason to remain Catholic is the simple fact that… our guys just look cooler in movies than anyone else.

Okay, that last ones a bit silly, but it still points out the obvious. If you’ve got dwarven demons running around, who else are you going to call but a priest. Our guys just look cooler. Period.

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

PULP CATHOLICISM #123

Monday, June 01, 2015

THE B-LIST: COMICS THAT WILL NEVER BE MADE INTO MOVIES #03: WORLD’S FINEST COMICS #209 (1972)

If this series of posts on comics that will never be made into movies has proven one thing, it is the fact that Superman is just that, a super Man, not a super Jesus as many would have him. But just in case there’s still some confusion out there, then this Superman/Hawkman team-up from World’s Finest #209 should really drive the point home.

The story begins as many Hawkman tales do, with the Thanagarian policeman beating the crap out of a bunch of common thugs. Now, this is back in the days before Hawkman was being written as a bloodthirsty neo-fascist, so the winged wonder doesn’t automatically crush anyone’s skull with a mace. But that all changes after one of the crooks drops a heavy sandbag on his head, after which the injured Hawkman hears a tiny whisper in his ear…

While the police convince an enraged Hawkman to stop battering the bad guy, The Tempter stands by content that his plan to corrupt Earth’s heroes is well underway. But as fine a hero as Hawkman is (one of my favorites, actually, when he’s done right), The Tempter has an even bigger target on his “to tempt” list, Superman. Traveling to Metropolis, the invisible menace finds his prized prey in the midst of apprehending a small time hoodlum known as The Oddsmaker (what, they can’t all be Lex Luthor).

Unsurprisingly, Supes makes short work of the third-rate thief, but upon delivering his prisoner to police HQ, finds the officer on duty somewhat less than enthusiastic about getting around to booking the criminal. Sensing an opportunity, The Tempter attempts to appeal to Superman’s vanity. Of course, being a Christ figure, surely Superman is able to withstand such an assault just as Jesus did in Gethsemane, right? Nope, not at all. In less than a second, the Man of Steel folds like a cheap suit.

Having wormed his way so easily into the psyches of both Hawkman and Superman, The Tempter then turns his attention towards their loved ones. First he riles up Hawkgirl, convincing the female flying fury that her husband is a complete insensitive jerk (remember, this was back before that actually became his default personality) oblivious to her homesickness, and then he gets inside Lois Lane’s head, inflaming her righteous indignation after Superman angrily brushes off her questions regarding his failure to enlarge the shrunken bottle city of Kandor.

As it turns out, Superman actually has figured out a way to enlarge Kandor, but hasn’t done so because his calculations have indicated that only one place on Earth could possibly sustain the super city, the very piece of real estate that is currently occupied by Hawkman’s home town, Midway City. Unfortunately, an evil Kandorian scientist named Kro-Al has recently arrived at the same conclusion and has escaped with a plan to replace Hawkman’s home with his own.

Through a convoluted series of machinations, The Tempter manages to trick a conflicted Hawkman into helping Kro-Al build his enlarging machine AND kidnap Lois Lane. All this goes unnoticed by Superman who, at The Tempter’s urging, has traveled to Midway City in order to accept an award. Kal-El’s plan to get a little ego boost goes awry, however, when it turns out that every freaking kid in the street somehow seems to know about his inability to enlarge Kandor (and no, that’s not a euphemism).

Just as things are about to get nasty, Jimmy Olsen arrives on the scene to inform his pal that Lois has been abducted and needs rescuing, an event which the now deluded Superman sees as the perfect way to win back the admiration of his fans. As the Man of Tomorrow engages the escaped Kandorians in mid-air combat, Hawkman temporarily regains some clarity and flies to his fellow Justice Leaguer’s aid. The Tempter has been at work, though, and just before he can enter the fray, Hawkman receives a call from his wife informing him (untruthfully) that they have been ordered back to their home planet of Thanagar. Convincing himself that Superman can handle things on his own despite the fact that he’s severely outnumbered, Hawkman leaves the scene.

With Hawkman gone, Supes easily gets his butt handed to him by the super-powered Kandorians, on national TV no less as the W-HA-HA news chopper is on hand to gleefully broadcast his beat down. Infuriated at the public humiliation, Superman becomes easy prey for The Tempter’s final ploy. In his most cajoling tone, The Tempter convinces Superman that the solution to all his public relations problems would be to wipe Midway City off the face of the planet and enlarge Kandor in its place. Of course, being a Christ figure, surely Superman is able to withstand such an assault just as Jesus did for forty days in the desert, right? Nope, not at all. In less than a second, the Man of Steel succumbs quicker than a cop at a donut shop.

With Superman about to toss a boulder into the Midway City atomic power plant and the Hawkcouple abandoning Earth forever, it appears The Tempter has won. Earth’s heroes, or at least three of them, have totally given in to his evil enticements. At the last minute, however, Hawkgirl feels the pangs of conscience and decides to confess the truth to her husband rather than realize her desire to return home by trickery.

Inspired by his wife’s honesty, Hawkman snaps out of his own delusions and rushes to rescue Lois and thwart Kro-Al. With the aid of some Kryptonian weapons, the now less-than-enraged Hawkman gently beats the snot out of the Kandorians and agrees to fly Lois to Superman. It’s a good call as only the thought of his lovely Lois dying a horrible radiation soaked death is enough to bring Superman to his senses.

Utterly defeated, The Tempter can do nothing more than lie on the ground crying his invisible tears. So disheartened is he that it would be 33 years before he showed back up again, this time tempting a group of dieters to eat themselves to death before being banished back to hell by Batman’s favorite magician, Zatanna. As for our heroes, they take the time to thank God for the gift of their loved ones.

You know, it’s so nice to see some superheroes giving thanks to God for anything at all that it’s a shame to have to point out that they get things just a wee bit wrong. As the Catechism points out, it’s not actually our loved ones that ultimately save us from giving in to temptation. As it explains, “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, so that you may be able to endure it. Such a battle and such a victory become possible only through prayer. It is by his prayer that Jesus vanquishes the tempter, both at the outset of his public mission and in the ultimate struggle of his agony.”

See, now Jesus knew how to get rid of The Tempter, and he was able to do so without almost giving in and murdering an entire city. Maybe Superman should live up to his Christ-like reputation and try that strategy next time he hears little whispers in his head, you think?