Saturday, October 31, 2015

HOLY HORRORS FOR HALLOWEEN FILM FESTIVAL: JUG FACE

Long time readers know that when Halloween rolls around, I usually like to recommend a few religious themed genre movies that manage to avoid the standard trappings of exorcism and/or miserable priests on the verge of losing their faith. Alas, thanks to the art project I mentioned in my last post, I don’t have the time to do a full blown film festival this year. Still, its finished now, so I think I can squeeze in at least one holy horror. Past entries in this series have included The Wicker Man, Bless The Child, The Believers, Brimstone & Treacle, This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse, and one of my favorite Christopher Lee movies, The Devil Rides Out. This year, I think we’ll go with the oddly titled Jug Face.

Jug Face

“A pregnant woman fights to avoid being sacrificed to the demonic beast that protects her backwoods village in this earthy tale of terror featuring Larry Fessenden and Sean Young. When the pit beast selects its victim, entranced potter Dawai (Sean Bridgers) creates a jug featuring the likeness of the chosen one. Ada (Lauren Ashley Carter) is pregnant with her brother's child when she discovers that she is next in line for sacrifice. Determined to give her child a fighting chance at life, Ada resists with every ounce of her being. Meanwhile, without a sacrifice, the dreaded creature will emerge to slaughter the entire terrified village.” ~ AllMovie Guide

“The Pit wants what it wants.”

“Whatever is, was long ago given its name, and human nature is known; mortals cannot contend in judgment with One who is stronger.” – Ecclesiastes 6:10, NABRE

If you’re looking for a scary movie to watch with the whole family this Halloween, you might want to give Jug Face a pass. Not because it’s excessively gory (there’s only a few stray intestines here or there) or overly frightening (I can’t recall a single jump scare), but simply because any film that begins with its teenage heroine willingly having incestuous sex with her brother out in the middle of the woods is probably not the one you’ll want to share with the kiddies.

Of course, you might be wondering why you’d want to watch Jug Face yourself given the distasteful subject matter of its opening. Well, because the fact that it is distasteful is central to the whole plot. You see, intercut with the young couple’s, er… coupling are scenes of a shallow pit full of muddy water and a potter sculpting something out of clay. The meaning of these images is quickly revealed as we learn that the teenaged Ada is something of a rebellious misfit in the isolated backwoods community in which she lives, primarily because she doesn’t want to follow the tenets of her people’s religion. On the surface this seems reasonable, seeing as how said religion basically involves worshiping the thing which lives in the aforementioned mud hole because it heals people and occasionally providing it with a human sacrifice so it won’t stop.

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Reasonable or not, however, The Pit does not suffer dissent lightly. Therefore, it’s no surprise when the face on the jug being sculpted by the mesmerized Dawai in the opening scene is revealed to be none other than Ada herself. As luck would have it, though, Ada manages to stumble across the jug while Dawai is still in a trance, affording her the opportunity to hide it before anyone realizes she has been chosen. Relieved that she has avoided a smiting from her god, Ada moves on to other, more normal backwoods teenage concerns, things like how to avoid her arranged marriage to the local doofus and how to hide the fact that she’s pregnant with her brother’s child when she’s supposed to be a virgin.

The Pit doesn’t take kindly to Ada’s attempt to avoid her appointment with the ceremonial dagger, though, and begins punishing the rest of the community in grisly fashion. Hicks though they may be, it only takes one disemboweled corpse for the community to realize something fishy is gong on. From that point on, the rest of the movie involves Ada’s efforts to escape to the outside world before she can be identified as the fugitive jug face and dragged before The Pit to have her throat ritualistically slit from ear to ear.

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Jug Face is writer/director Chad Crawford Kinkle’s freshmen effort and it definitely has its flaws (the lil’ dead boy who keeps popping up to talk to Ada has some particularly ineffective CGI), but for a hillbilly horror movie made on half a shoestring budget, it’s pretty effective in establishing a creepy atmosphere. Plus, Hinkle’s script has more on its mind than just being another creature feature (which is good since we never actually get to see the creature), as there’s quite a bit of critique of religion going on in the story. Now, if you’ve run across Jug Face on any horror blogs, the sense might be that the critique is mostly negative. Take these comments, for instance…

“There are few things more frightening than those unwavering in their beliefs, especially when it comes at the expense of their loved ones.” Brad McHargue, Dread Central

“At its roots, it's a relatable scenario that people in plenty of walks of life may face: gay teens who risk being disowned by their parents should they come out, family members shunned when they choose another religion, etc. Should you choose the family and friends who choose their faith and beliefs over you?” Stacie Ponder, Final Girl

“They deem this life normal with blind devotion to this creature and this could feasibly be a damning sub-textual commentary on how religions handicap followers from being able to think critically.” Dave J. Wilson, Cinematic Shocks

So yeah, based on musings such as those, one could be forgiven in thinking that Jug Face is an outright condemnation of all religion.

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I’m not so sure, though. The thing is, even if such an interpretation was Kinkle’s intention, the ending of Jug Face plays a very mean trick on those who would hold such an opinion. You see, while a lot of folks are comparing Jug Face to The Wicker Man (the original, not the one with the damned bees), the movie actually has a lot more in common with Wes Craven’s Deadly Blessing. Both films are ostensibly anti-religion, but both have a denouement which seems to indicate that the religious loonies were right all along, that their tradition is best maintained and that their God cannot be denied.

The dirty truth of the narrative is that Ada brings her death sentence upon herself. Though the movie doesn’t explicitly state that Ada’s actions mark her as the next sacrifice, the juxtaposition in the opening montage between her incestuous dalliance and the making of the jug with her face on it strongly suggests that is the case. And then, of course, her actions to escape her ordained fate directly lead to harm for everybody else, thereby condemning her even more. This part might seem unfair to the uninitiated, but any good Catholic should be able to tell you there is a communal aspect to every sin. Even our most secret indiscretions harm others. That’s one of the reasons we have confession in the first place.

But nobody wants to hear that kind of stuff anymore. Really, when you come down to it, I believe a lot of the uncomfortable feelings which Jug Face provokes stem from the fact that while its sympathies lie with Ada, it doesn’t flinch from the notion that her sins have a price which must be paid. I imagine most viewers would feel a lot more comfortable seeing Ada receive her god’s mercy rather than its justice.

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That’s the real horror of Jug Face, though. It’s pit god demands justice, but never evidences any sign that it can be merciful. It’s the knife and nothing else. And that’s why whatever religion Jug Face is critiquing, it’s a false one. Real life Christianity isn’t supposed to be like that (not when it’s done right, anyway), as it should offer both justice and mercy. Not that too many people want the justice part, mind you. “Today in broad circles, even among believers, an image has prevailed of a Jesus who demands nothing, never scolds, who accepts everyone and everything, who no longer does anything but affirm us.” wrote a pre-Pope Cardinal Ratzinger. “The Jesus of the Gospels is quite different, demanding, bold. The Jesus who makes everything okay for everyone is a phantom, a dream, not a real figure. The Jesus of the Gospels is certainly not convenient for us…. We must again set out on the way to this real Jesus.”

Jesus talked about Hell more than any figure in the Bible; he was all about justice. And yet, he’s also the one who died on the cross and willingly paid the price for our sins so we could all avoid Hell, so he pretty much had the mercy thing down as well. But let’s never forget that he performed that act of mercy precisely because the demands of justice had to be met, not shoved aside and ignored. We do ourselves no favor when we demand mercy, but deny that we ever did anything to require it in the first place. Even Ada learns that hard lesson in the end.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

HAPPY HAPPY HALLOWEEN IX

For obvious reasons, Halloween has traditionally been the busy season around this blog. This year, however, I was commissioned (along with a lot of better illustrators) to produce some cartoons for a small Catholic publishing company and had to spend my spare time working on those instead. Still, I couldn’t let the holiday creep by without offering our yearly suggestions for cheap and easy to make costumes based on some of the movies we’ve discussed over the past twelve months, either here or over at Aleteia. Long time readers know that we provide this annual service for those Christians who can’t stand one more year of dressing up like a nun or an Old Testament prophet, but would still like their disguises to reflect their beliefs in some way.

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Let’s start out with one for the fellows, and a pretty easy one at that. In fact, all you really need to dress up as this threatening apparition from The Devil Rides Out is a red bed sheet (white sheet soaked in RIT dye acceptable) to wrap around your infernal nether regions. Body oil is optional, if not actively discouraged. Oddly enough, for a movie full of Christian symbolism, this one demon actually calls to mind a shaytanic jinn, one of those non-angelic spiritual beings Muslims believe inhabit the unseen world. But that’s okay. Go as this guy and you just might remind folks that evil is real and out to get you, no matter what you do or don’t believe.

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Now that we’ve got the guys covered (the necessary bits anyway), we can turn our attention to the ladies. For you, we suggest going as uber-businesswoman Claire from this year’s blockbuster, Jurassic World. Claire’s all-white skirt and blouse ensemble should come relatively cheap, with most of it probably already hanging in your closet. The only accessories you should have to spring for are a red glow stick (our lawyers advise we not recommend actual flaming torches) to attract dinosaurs with and, more importantly, a pair of 3.5-in. nude Sam Edelman heels in your size. Heels, as you probably know by now, are the preferred foot ware in which to outrun enraged monsters created by profit-minded mad scientists. Actress Bryce Dallas Howard, who played Claire, explained, “She’s in high heels because she’s a woman who has been in high heels her whole life and she can f****** sprint in them. She can. That’s kind of how I perceived it. She doesn’t have to be in menswear and flats in order to outrun a T-Rex. That’s what women can do.” Sure, why not? So slip on those pumps, go trick or treating, and be sure to remind everyone you meet that science must serve mankind, not just men’s wallets.

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If you’d prefer a more unisex look to your costume this year, then the possessed Christie’s getup from Ninja III: The Domination is just the ensemble for you. Throw on some used coveralls, a ski mask, and some dollar store ninja gear and nobody will know what you are under there. Of course, to make the costume 100% authentic, you’ll need to slather on tons of mascara as well, but let’s face it, this is 2015, so they still won’t be able to tell what you are under there. Sigh.

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But enough of all these solo suggestions. If you’re in the market for a couple’s costume, why not try out Mavis & Jonathan’s wedding attire from Hotel Transylvania 2. For Mavis, all you ladies can just pull out your little black dress, add a veil and some fake vampire fangs, and you’re good to go. As for you fellows, it’s not prom season, so you should be able to pick up a tux pretty cheap. Just add a carrot-top wig and and you’re ready to walk the aisle. Or your neighborhood streets as the case may be. Not only will you make a lovely couple, but you’ll be a shining example of how love can overcome all the problems a mixed-marriage might present.

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And finally, if you need something for the whole family, why not make yourselves up as the stalwart heroes from Big Ass Spider! Between Goodwill and the Dollar Store (again), these outfits should be fairly inexpensive to throw together. Of course, one of you might want to dress up as a big ass spider so everyone gets the point, but thanks to the Internet

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…that should be no problem. So, not only can the whole family participate, but you’ll be making a statement on how everyday working class guys and gals are just as heroic and worthy of praise as all those folks flying around in capes. You know, kind of like how the apostles were.

Well, hope this gave everyone some useful hints for costume ideas this year. Until next time, Happy Happy Halloween everyone.

Saturday, October 03, 2015

SHORT FEATURE - MY MARTIAN CUTIE (NUMBER 9)

I took a gander at The Martian for Aleteia this week and, like most reviewers out there, I enjoyed it. One thing I didn’t bring up in my piece, though, was the soundtrack which, if you’ve read the book you already know, is comprised entirely of disco music from the 1970s. Yeah, I know, but the playlist does allow for a pretty clever joke as the credits begin to roll, so it’s worth it. But even so, I think they missed an opportunity to include another tune from the early 70s that would have been just perfect…

Alas, it seems more and more unlikely that there were ever any nine-eyed Martian cuties on the surface of the red planet. Thanks to NASA’s recent announcement regarding evidence that liquid water flows intermittently on present-day Mars, however, there is the real possibility that at least some form of microbial life might exist out there somewhere.

Addressing NASA’s discovery in an interview with Vatican Radio, the director of the Vatican Observatory, Brother Guy Consolmagno, mused, “We have no idea whether life is so rare that it never occurs anywhere, or so common that it occurs everywhere, and that’s why we have to look at places life could be to see just how rare or how common it actually is… The important thing is to recognize that the universe is created by God, and however God did it tells us something about God’s personality. If God chose to make a universe where we are the only creatures, that is interesting, that tells us something about God and us. If God creates a universe where life is everywhere, that gives us a different picture of God, but either way, we learn more about who the creator is.”

Personally, it wouldn’t bother me at all if we found out God had created a universe with a nine-eyed Martian cutie in it. At the very least it would mean we shared the same sense of humor.

Friday, October 02, 2015

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2

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(NOTE: I had originally prepared this review for Aleteia, but then some guy from out of town named Francis showed up in America and hogged all the attention, so it never got published. As fate would have it, though, this week’s Sunday readings are all about marriage, so I’m recycling the review for this site. I hear that Francis guy approves of such frugal use of resources.)

“Hotel owner Dracula (voice of Adam Sandler) is concerned that his half-human grandson Dennis isn't embracing his vampire heritage. He and his fellow ghouls put Dennis through a "monster-in-training" boot camp, but their efforts are complicated by the arrival of Dracula's dad, a traditionalist vampire named Vlad (Mel Brooks). Andy Samberg, Selena Gomez, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, Keegan-Michael Key, Fran Drescher, Molly Shannon, Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman, Dana Carvey, and Rob Riggle also lend their voices to this animated sequel.” ~ AllMovie Guide

October 4th, 2015: Twenty-seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year B)

“Blah, blah, blah!” No, that’s not the sound Dracula makes as he’s about to drink your blood. If there’s one thing Adam Sandler’s Count Dracula has made absolutely clear, it’s that he doesn’t say, “Blah, blah, blah!” So if you’re hearing “Blah, blah, blah!” that’s probably just the sound of my fellow movie critics still expressing their opinion of the first Hotel Transylvania movie. I myself found it to be average family fare, but most of my peers pretty much hated it. Audiences, on the other hand, enjoyed the film to the tune of $148 million domestic, so the inevitable sequel is finally here.

Things have changed a bit since the last time we visited the Hotel Transylvania. Dracula’s daughter Mavis and her slacker human heartthrob, Jonathan, are now married and the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy named Dennis. Well, okay, he doesn’t really bounce. Or turn into a bat or drink blood or go “Blah, blah, blah!” for that matter. Much to granddaddy Dracula’s consternation, his grandson doesn’t appear to be a vampire at all.

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Worse, in Dracula’s opinion, is the fact that the insanely overprotective Mavis (like father, like daughter it seems) feels that a hotel full of monsters is far too dangerous a place to raise a human child in and has decided to move the family to Jonathan’s hometown in sunny California. In a last ditch effort to keep the family from leaving, Drac and his pack of pals attempt to jumpstart Dennis’ (hopefully) latent vampirism while Mavis and Jonathan are off in the States looking for a place to live. Hilarity ensues.

Well, as long as you thought the first movie was funny, anyway. Me, I was one of those “monster kids” who grew up with stacks of Famous Monsters and Fangoria lying around my room, meaning I could watch werewolves and mummies and blobs do slapstick all day long. So when a notoriously fire-shy Frankenstein’s Monster gets set ablaze and burns down a whole summer camp before he can be calmed down and dowsed, yeah, I tend to laugh. That’s really about as deep as the humor in Hotel Transylvania 2 gets, though. Those wanting their heartstrings tugged or their intellects tweaked would probably do better skipping this one and waiting for the next Pixar film to come out.

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Of course, folks looking for such things really have no business walking into an Adam Sandler movie in the first place. With a couple of notable exceptions, it’s not like the man’s oeuvre reeks of films with complex themes. If you want in-depth explorations of human emotions, go see Inside Out a second time, but if you find it funny listening to a middle-aged Jewish guy kvetch about social media and modern-day helicopter parenting, then Hotel Transylvania 2 is right up your alley.

That’s not to say the movie doesn’t try to throw in a little lesson along the way, as most animated features tend to do. A lot of the more humorous moments in the story come from Jonathan’s parents and their over-the-top attempts to prove they’re accepting of their son’s vampire wife. Particularly funny are the guest room decorated with merchandise from the Halloween store and the human-monster mixer thrown by Jonathan’s mother which includes a hairy hipster she’s mistaken for a werewolf. For adults paying attention, the allusions to interracial marriage are pretty hard to miss.

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You know, I have to confess I wasn’t aware there was still that much of a stigma attached to interracial marriages in this country, not so much of one that somebody would feel compelled to address the issue in an animated movie. Maybe that’s because I’m Catholic, though. Back in the early 2000s, researchers from Baylor University found that Catholics were almost twice as likely as everybody else to be in an interracial marriage, with Catholics who regularly attended mass even more so. I guess we’re not kidding when we say Catholic means universal, huh? As for the Church herself, the only mixed marriages she’s overly concerned with are those between spouses with different religious beliefs due to the conflicts which can arise. Even then, such marriages are not forbidden, but only advised to be approached with caution and a commitment to “placing in common what [the spouses] have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ.”

Not that Hotel Transylvania 2 delves that deep into the discussion, mind you. As is befitting a movie featuring the Frankenstein Monster, the film’s subtext goes no further than “intermarriage good, discrimination bad.” Not very eloquent, but not offensive either. Which, come to think of it, is probably the nicest thing anyone has said about an Adam Sandler movie recently.