NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

The year that really needs to go away just keeps rolling along and devouring all my time. About all I’ve managed over the past couple of weeks is a review of Arrival for Aleteia and a few suggestions for those in need of some political horror over at SCENES. Still, there’s plenty of other reading out there if you need something to keep you occupied after the holiday.

First up, Catholic Skywalker offers up his take on Shin Godzilla, Japan’s recent resurrection of the BIg G. I have to admit I enjoyed it a bit more than Mr. Skywalker did, but I can’t fault his criticisms of stuff like the creature design. After all, the entire audience at my screening did burst out laughing the first time Godzilla showed up in his unevolved state. Best to watch the movie when it hits DVD to see what exactly that’s supposed to mean.

Speaking of evolution, First Thing’s Abigail Rine Favale looks back on the previous season of The Walking Dead and discovers that the show has slowly grown into an “unexpected herald of a culture of life.” Of course, Ms. Favale was speaking of Season 6. I wonder what she thinks of recent developments in Season 7.

You know, some shows never see a Season 7, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have something to say as well. For proof, head on over to Speculative Faith where they have an interview with Kevin C. Neece, author of The Gospel According to Star Trek. There he discusses how he discovered a wealth of Christian insight in the beloved show despite Rodenberry’s own rejection of his Southern Baptist roots.

Really though, such mixtures of belief and skepticism are actually pretty common in genre fare. It’s no surprise then to find Patrick Malone writing at Catholic Stand about Faith, Doubt, and Analysis Paralysis in The Exorcist, where he notes “the world is not neatly divided into believers and doubters, but rather that doubt and faith are often intertwined.”

Maybe so, but not so much at The National Catholic Register where Matt Archbold has very little doubt he has seen 7 Insanely Bad TV Shows and Movies Featuring Popes. Not a bad list, though it may be missing a few. Do I smell a post coming up at some point? We’ll see if 2016 allows it.

Until then, you can enjoy T. Martin’s reminiscing on the “incoherent, relentlessly swinging, hit-or-miss” Weird Al classic, U.H.F.

And finally, just in case I don’t get to post anything else before Sunday (because 2016), here’s some random picture of a monkey opening an Advent calendar I found on the Internet. Everybody likes monkeys!

PULP CATHOLICISM #185

THE B-LIST: QUESTIONABLE MUSICAL MOMENTS #22 – ANI: A PARODY

Yes, this is the entire two-hour long production of Ani: A Parody, which the fine folks at Starkid Productions were kind enough to put online for free. It’s well worth the watch if you have the time to take in the whole thing, especially if you have a familiarity with old 1980s movies full of training montages set to rock music. Not to worry though. For the purposes of this post, we’re only interested in the first four minutes and ten seconds, which just so happens to be the exact time it takes to get through Ani’s opening theme…

Ani, what a guy, right? You have to appreciate a fella who likes wordplay so much. Hey, you know who else enjoyed a little paronomasia? The writers of the Bible, that’s who. For instance, as an article at biblestudytools.com notes…

In Jonah 3:7, there is a pun: “By the decree (מטעם, mita‘am) of the king and his nobles: Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste (יטעמו, yit‘amu) anything” (ESV). The word טעם (ta‘am) has two unrelated meanings: The first, more common, meaning is “to taste” (as a verb) or “flavor” (as a noun). For example, Jonathan tasted (ta‘am) a little honey with the tip of his staff (1 Samuel 14:43). This is the meaning used in the phrase “Let neither man nor beast … taste anything” (ESV). The second meaning is “decree,” which is borrowed from either Assyrian (which would make sense!) or Aramaic. This rarer meaning occurs only in Jonah 3:7 and in Daniel 3:10. The author of Jonah turns this into a witticism: What comes out of the king’s mouth (the decree, ta‘am) keeps the people from putting anything into theirs (tasting food, ta‘am).

Hilarious, right? You see what the author of Jonah did there? He used double meanings, a humorous play on words, and that’s… where the comedy… comes in…

Yeah, okay, let’s be honest. To appreciate a lot of the wordplay in the Bible pretty much requires you to either get a degree in ancient languages or read books by someone else who has. For casual Bible reading, though, maybe it’s best not to worry so much about catching the subtleties of a 3,000 year old pun and instead just enjoy the more obvious humor on display in a story like that of Jonah. After all, the image of a guy covered in whale vomit stumbling into a city and yelling, “Repent!”, well, that’s good for a laugh no matter what year the story was written.

And if you don’t like, you can always come up with your own jokes. For instance, here’s one I heard. Why is the story of Jonah so inspiring? Because it’s about a guy who’s down in the mouth, but comes out all right in the end.

See what I did there?

THE B-LIST: 7 OF THE WEIRDEST EVIL OBJECTS IN MOVIES

Demonic dolls, malevolent mirrors, cursed cars; these things are a dime a dozen in horror movies. You can watch them pretty much whenever you want. But if you’re like me, sometimes you have a hankering for  something just a wee bit different than your everyday dastardly doohickey. Well, not to worry, The B-Movie Catechism has got you covered. Here are seven of the weirdest evil objects in movies for your viewing pleasure. Well, at least for your viewing anyway.

The Evil Dollhouse from Amityville Dollhouse (1996)

We’ll start with a no-brainer. I mean, if you’re going to buy your kid a toy that looks exactly like the most famous haunted house in the country, you’re just asking for trouble, right? Parents, let this be a lesson. Even when your kids relentlessly beg for something, it’s okay to say no sometimes.

The Evil Television from The Twonky (1953)

You might also want to monitor how much time your kids spend in front of the television. Just how much TV is bad for you is debatable, but I’m pretty sure if your boob tube has grown legs, is walking around, and has taken complete control of your life, it’s time to pull the plug.

The Evil Laundry Press from The Mangler (1995)

Speaking of moving machinery, the next time Stephen King complains about the quality of anything, just remember he’s the one who wrote the short story The Mangler is based on. The man’s books creeped me out a lot back in the day, but even then, this wicked wringer just didn’t do the trick.

The Evil Elevator from The Lift (1983)

One of the best taglines ever. You would think this would be as silly an idea as The Mangler, but this obscure little Dutch horror has developed quite a cult following over the years. There’s not an actual psychological term for the fear of elevators, but whoever out there has it should probably avoid this one.

The Evil Bed from Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

And just like that, we’re right back to the ridiculous. Here’s an idea. If you run across a bed that has eaten a number of people, don’t lie down in it. How hard can it be? This bed can’t even move around like The Twonky or The Mangler. Just walk away.

The Evil Refrigerator from The Refrigerator (1991)

Now this is a little easier to understand. At least in this scenario there’s no other way to get to your pizza rolls than to open up the fridge and stick your hand into it. Still, after the first few times the awful appliance gobbles someone up, you would think they might consider the possibility of switching to canned foods. Oh well, what do you expect in a movie about a killer refrigerator. It can’t get any sillier than that.

The Evil Tire from Rubber (2010)

Suckers! It can always get sillier. This is the touching tale of a tire that develops Scanner like powers and leaves a trail of exploded heads across the desert while pursuing the girl of its dreams. It’s never explained, it just is. Much like the movie Rubber itself.

If these films are any indication, just about anything can turn evil. In real life, the Church doesn’t actually have a lot of official statements on the subject beyond a sentence in the Catechism which notes, “When the Church asks publicly and authoritatively in the name of Jesus Christ that a person or object [emphasis mine] be protected against the power of the Evil One and withdrawn from his dominion, it is called exorcism.” So at the very least there appears to be some official recognition that an object can become the focus of outside evil forces just as a person can.

Now, that doesn’t mean your toaster is someday going to gain awareness and bite your hand off. It just means that, for whatever reason, the demonic can become fixated on a physical object. Really, such an idea should be no big shock if you accept the notion that there’s a spiritual dimension to reality, which as a Christian you should. So if you start getting bad vibes from some knickknack sitting around your house, play it safe and toss it, not because you’re worried it may come to life and eat the kids, but simply because on the off chance there is something malevolent lingering around the thingy, you don’t want it to start taking notice of you.

P.S. It is not nice to pretend you sense evil in one of your spouse’s ugly keepsakes just to force them to get rid of it.

OUTTAKES #058

THE TWILIGHT BINGE #016: THE HITCH HIKER

S01E16 – The Hitch Hiker

“A young woman driving cross-country keeps seeing the same hitchhiker on the roadside and, unaware she has bigger worries, fears he wants to kill her.”

In a twist worthy of the series, while the Twilight Zone generally stuck to science fiction and fantasy, some of its more memorable episodes were actually the ones that cranked up the creep factor. Take The Hitch Hiker for example, which consistently ranks among the top ten episodes of all time in just about every poll you can pull up. Adapted from a radio play (the only episode to bear that distinction) originally starring Orson Wells, The Hitch Hiker is a terror tale perfectly suited for the Halloween season.

It seems almost a modern miracle in this age of CGI, but director Alvin Ganzer manages to squeeze every ounce of tension possible out of nothing more than a few well placed cameras. The titular hitch hiker, played mostly silent by dependable character actor Leonard Strong, is always sliding into frame, showing up over Nan’s shoulder or in the reflection of the car’s mirrors. He never makes a menacing move or utters a threatening word, but the fact that you never quite know where he is going to appear is enough to keep things on edge.

Ganzer’s clever camera placement almost led to disaster though, at least according to Marc Scott Ziree’s Twilight Zone Companion. For the scene in which Nan’s car stalls on the railroad tracks, the budget didn’t allow for the show to actually rent a train. Instead, they simply set up the shot and waited for one to come along, not realizing just how fast the local locomotives passed through this particular crossing. Go back and rewatch the episode and decide for yourself whether it looks like the car barely makes it off the tracks or not before the train comes barreling through. Ah well, nobody was hurt, and the scene definitely adds to the growing sense of peril for poor Nan as the episode progresses.

Most of what I could say about The Hitch Hiker’s twist ending I have already discussed in my review of Carnival of Souls, a movie I adore, but one which blatantly rips off this episode for everything it can. One big difference in the stories denouements, however, is the way in which the two women confront their final fates. In Carnival of Souls, Mary goes down kicking and screaming, whereas in The Hitch Hiker, once Nan realizes what is happening, their is almost a sense of relief on her face. Nan is ready for death, while Mary is not.

Perhaps this is because in Carnival of Souls, Mary is shown to be something of a wild child at the beginning of the film, getting plastered with her girlfriends and engaging in dangerous drag races. Nan, on the other hand, is just a hard worker enjoying a well deserved vacation before her tire blows out. At the risk of over-simplifying, the narratives give us enough clues to suggest Nan is a good girl, while Mary, if not necessarily bad, is at least living in some grey areas. This is important because, as the old Catholic Encyclopedia notes, “spiritual writers are as one in declaring that ordinarily the only adequate preparation for death is a righteous life.”

Nobody in their right mind is in any rush to die, but a Christian with a clear conscience doesn’t shy away from the experience when they know the time is nigh. Heck, we even have a prayer ready for the occasion…

O Lord, my God, from this moment on I accept with a good will, as something coming from your hand, whatever kind of death you want to send me, with all its anguish, pain, and sorrow.  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I give you my heart and my soul.  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, assist me in my last agony.  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, may I sleep and take my rest in peace with you.

It’s a good prayer. May it be a long time before you ever have to use it.

Twilight Tidbits: When Nan goes to the gas station, the pumps are branded with the name of the Magnum Oil Company. This is the same name which appears on the gas truck in the biplane attack sequence in North by Northwest. While probably a coincidence (Magnum was a real company after all), one can’t help but wonder if this was a subtle dig at Alfred Hitchcock, who had been trying to buy the rights to The Hitch Hiker for his own show before Serling snapped them up.

DIRECTOR’S COMMENTARY: PULP CATHOLICISM #044

As today is the feast of St. Francis, it seemed like a good time to dust off this old cartoon about the patron Saint of all animals and spruce it up with a bit of color. As for the subject matter, well, if St. Columba could allegedly chase off Nessie, then certainly St. Francis could preach to her. And no doubt he would be happy to do so. Writing about St. Francis, G. K. Chesterton would say…

“He never forgot to take pleasure in a bird as it flashed past him, or a drop of water as it fell from his finger: he was, perhaps, the happiest of the sons of men.”

And how did Francis maintain such a happy disposition? In a later work, Chesterton would speculate…

“In a…cynical sense…men have said ‘Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.’ It was in a wholly happy and enthusiastic sense that St. Francis said, ‘Blessed is he who expecteth nothing, for he shall enjoy everything.’ It was by this deliberate idea of starting from zero…that he did come to enjoy even earthly things as few people have enjoyed them.”

Now, one Saint’s key to enjoying life might not sound like that big of a deal, but remember that the Catechism tells us how the desire for happiness is not only a natural one, but is of divine origin. “God has placed it in the human heart in order to draw man to the One who alone can fulfill it.” So if nothing else is working, don’t be afraid to try out a start-from-zero approach. It’s St. Francis approved.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

My futile efforts to catch up at my day job continue so, while the cruel taskmaster of circumstance keeps my nose firmly pressed to the grindstone, why not take some time to check out what some other folks are saying about religion and movies around the blogosphere.

I did manage to catch a couple of movies. For SCENES I revisited the excellent hillbilly horror parody, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, while for Aleteia I braved the newest installment in the Blair Witch series. It’s okay taken by itself, but don’t expect another classic.

While you’re over at Aleteia, you might want to take a gander at 5 Great things to watch on Netflix now (from a Catholic guy) which Tommy Tighe has dug up. Sister Rose at the Movies seems to like Netflix too, at least those shows and movies on it that shine the light of grace in human stories. Both Tommy and Sr. Rose seem to be particularly fond of Netflix’s original series Daredevil, a show which I may have a few things to say about as well.

Not everything is on Netflix, though. Over at Suburban Banshee, M. S. Obrien has a post up touting what he considers one of the best SF movie he’s seen all year, Space Trucker Bruce. It’s definitely worth a watch, especially if you don’t mind watching movies made by amateurs with a $10,000 budget and filmed in the director’s basement. I caught it on Amazon Prime, but the filmmaker has also made the entire movie freely available on YouTube.

Less recommended is the recent animated adaptation of Batman: The Killing Joke. If you haven’t already heard about it, five minutes on the Internet should be enough to let you know everything it does wrong. However, despite its faults, Speculative Faith’s Mark Carver managed to make it through the whole thing and he came away with some interesting thoughts on just what he thinks the Joker represents.

Speaking of divisive things, SuperversiveSF’s Anthony M. takes a brief look at conflicting excerpts from the works of Nick Cole vs. Naomi Kritzer regarding artificial intelligences and God and chooses a side.

And that should be plenty of reading to keep you busy while I keep slogging away at work. Honestly, I’m beat. I could really go for a nap right about now.

PULP CATHOLICISM #184

PULP CATHOLICISM #183

DIRECTORS COMMENTARY: PULP CATHOLICISM #050

If you've spent any time mulling around the Catholic blogosphere over the past few days, you've probably stumbled across the kerfuffle surrounding two well known Catholic bloggers who recently lost their writing positions at a well known Catholic publication due to various comments they've made online. You won't find any commentary on that particular situation here because that's not what we do at The B-Movie Catechism. What you will find, though, is this old cartoon I whipped up a few years ago which acknowledges the fact that St. Blogs can be a testy place from time to time, and pretty much always has been that way.

You know, the Catechism doesn't directly address blogging or comment sections on websites. It does, however, have a section on the use of social communications media where it notes, "It is necessary that all members of society meet the demands of justice and charity in this domain." So yeah, based on that, it's reasonable to assume that we're expected to watch our virtual tongues when we're interacting online. Anonymity doesn't excuse us from the demands of our faith. Now, of course, you're free to disagree with that conclusion, and if you do, by all means leave a comment below. But, you know, do it nicely.

THE JUKEBOX HERO HYMNAL: Hymn 029: God, Love & Rock N' Roll by Teegarden & Van Winkle

We haven't added a song to the Jukebox Hero Hymnal for a while, but after being reminded recently of the old one-hit wonder, God, Love & Rock N' Roll (on Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast! of all places), I knew it had to go in. Originally starting out as The Sunday Servants, the Detroit duo of David Teegarden and Skip Knape (aka Van Winkle) worked steadily throughout the 60s and 70s, even spending some time with Bob Seger, but they only made it onto the charts once with this little jaunt into Jesus Rock. Gospel fans will probably catch on quickly that God, Love & Rock N' Roll borrows liberally from the traditional spiritual Amen, but the results are so catchy that it's hard to get too worked up over it.

Like most Jesus Rock, the lyrics to God, Love & Rock N' Roll are fairly innocuous. Typical of popular music produced at the tip end of the Vietnam War, there are the usual calls to "still the fires" and "give peace a chance." The majority of the tune, however, is a simple invocation to each of us to reaffirm our belief in God and love and... rock n' roll? Obviously that last part is a bit problematic theologically speaking. We're not supposed to put our faith in any earthly thing, especially not a style of music whose name is often preceded by the words "sex and drugs and..."

However, it's unlikely that's the kind of rock music Teegarden & Van Winkle are warbling about here. The Rev. Basil Nortz, O.R.C., not a big fan of rock n' roll, once noted that while "bad music tends to absolutize the passions, making their pleasure or hate a good in itself, such that right reason more and more loses dominion with the result that the individual falls victim to the passions... good music will stimulate the emotions in such a way that these faculties of the soul, under the guidance of reason, are made to more effectively pursue the good of the individual and his neighbor."

Given the context of the song, that second type of music is most likely what Teegarden & Van Winkle are extolling in God, Love & Rock N' Roll. They're professing a belief that a good tune can stimulate our emotions in such a way that we turn away from destructive behaviors and turn towards those things which can have a positive effect on ourselves and the world around us. Sure, Rev. Nortz is correct that there's plenty of songs out there that do just the opposite, but when it comes to God, Love & Rock N' Roll at least, it's hard not to get a big old happy grin when you listen to it.

SHORT FEATURE: THE BANANA SPLITS - I'M GONNA FIND A CAVE

In celebration of National Banana Split Day (because, why not), let's take a moment to listen to the dulcet tones of... The Banana Splits (bet you saw that coming) singing one of their more popular tunes, I'm Gonna Find A Cave...

"Gonna find a cave where we can hide - Everything we crave will be inside - Oh yeah Me and you and all the goodies there - If I want I can pull you by the hair - Doop doop doop dip dip - I'm gonnna find a cave."

You know, they were making the whole idea of chucking everything and going to find an isolated cave to live in sound pretty good up, at least until they got to the hair-pulling part. I'm not sure what that was all about or what woman would possibly go for it. Still, getting away from it all can sometimes be a good idea. 

One person who certainly thought so was St. Paul of Thebes, a.k.a. Paul The Hermit. Back around the year 250 AD, Paul fled to a cave in the desert to avoid a property-snatching scheme by his anti-Christian brother-in-law. According to legend, he soon discovered cave dwelling to be conducive to his spirituality, so he decided to spend the next 90 years of his life there (which would explain that whole Paul The Hermit nickname thing). It would be another hundred years or so before the cave-craze really caught on, but Paul is generally credited with kick-starting the group known as the Desert Fathers, a loose-knit assemblage of Christian ascetics whose way of life would eventually morph into modern day monasticism. Leave it to God to find a way to turn anti-social tendencies into a social movement that has meant so much to so many.

CUTAWAYS: THE TOOTH FAIRY

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day! Now, like most of you, I am at  a loss to explain why any single person, let alone the whole nation, would want to celebrate one of Dwayne Johnson's worst movies ever. In fact, Tooth Fairy was so bad, The Rock was worried his acting career was headed, well, right down the toilet...

Johnson spoke with The Hollywood Reporter about this phase of his career...

"I was told that I had to conform to a standard in Hollywood that would beget me more work, better roles," he explains. "Which meant I had to stop going to the gym, which meant I couldn't be as big, which meant you had to distance yourself from wrestling. You essentially had to deconstruct yourself." 

For a while, he says, he bought into that, in part because he did not have the high-level industry contacts he could turn to for advice. "Then that started to not feel good to me. It reached a point of, 'I'm not feeling authentic."

"After [2010's] Tooth Fairy," says [manager Dany] Garcia, "we recognized that Dwayne was moving away from his core of who he was."

Judging from recent box-office results, it looks like The Rock course-corrected his career pretty well since his Tooth Fairy days. There's a lesson to be learned in that. While there's nothing overtly spiritual in The Rock's statements, that doesn't mean we can't recognize some deeper truths in the actor's decision to abandon false self-images and return to an authentic vision of himself. Author and speaker Fr. Jacque Philippe notes that we Christians should strive for such epiphanies in our own spiritual journeys... 

“We have tried to construct a personality for ourselves... and yet a part of us is still empty, unsatisfied, perplexed: Who am I really? Does what I have lived through up till now really express what I am?... Everything we may learn about ourselves by human means (experience of life, psychology, human sciences) is not to be despised, obviously. But that provides only a limited and partial knowledge of our being... That deepest part comes to light only in the encounter with God, which strips us of everything artificial in our identity to bring us to what we really are, at the heart of our personhood. Our true identity is not so much a reality to be constructed as a gift to be received. It is not about achieving, but letting ourselves be begotten... We human beings can only know ourselves truly in the light of God. "

So, by being who God wants us to be, we actually become a fuller version of our true self, we... what's that? You say National Tooth Fairy Day is actually about dental hygiene awareness and not at all about The Rock's terrible movie? Oh. Okay. Well, I'm sure God wants us to take care of our teeth too.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

It’s time again to check in around the web and see what’s going on with religion and movies. In case you missed it, I’ve got a new gig at SCENES where I discuss horror related offerings such as The Witch and Stranger Things. I’m also still contributing reviews of new releases to Aleteia where recently I’ve taken in Ben-Hur and Pete’s Dragon.

Speaking of Pete’s Dragon, the reboot of the Disney semi-classic  has some folks once again digging up Michael O’Brien’s book, A Landscape with Dragons, in order to make the argument that such creatures should never, ever be portrayed as good characters. Jimmy Akin weighs in to debunk that notion once and for all.

Now, if all this talk about Pete’s Dragon has whetted your appetite for 1970s-era House of Mouse, then be sure to stop by Speculative Faith where Audie Thacker spends some time exploring Disney’s sci-fi gem, The Black Hole. Thacker even mentions the comic book adaptation of the film, which I just so happened to own a copy of back in the day.

Of course, I owned a lot of comics back in the day, so I’m a sucker for a blog like Christ, Coffee, and Comics where Greek Orthodox priest Father Niko does stuff like talk to former Marvel scribe Ann Nocenti about religion, philanthropy, and Daredevil.

Let’s face it, comic-based movies pretty much rule the box office at the moment, so it’s inevitable that a news outlet like the Desert News National should get around to asking the question, “Does God exist in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?” The answer seems a little fuzzy.

If you really want fuzzy, though, look no further than the films of the Coen Brothers. Over at NonModern, Jason Dietz has been taking a look at the filmmaking duo’s various films and he’s finally gotten around to their first effort,  Blood Simple. The Coen’s take on film noir about “a series of people choosing to do stupid things” is cult movie making at its finest.

And finally, just in case you missed the link I put up recently on Twitter and Facebook (join us, JOIN US), The Independent reports a new study published by the journal Poetics which makes the bold claim that enjoyment of trash films linked to high intelligence.

SHORT FEATURE: STAR TRACT

Considering the contents of this blog, I am hardly in the position to cast stones at anyone’s efforts at evangelism, especially when they use the trappings of a classic science fiction show...

Must… not… cast… stones!

Anyway, those who have spent some time in evangelical churches like I have should be more than familiar with the practice of handing out tracts to non-believers. Passing along those little pamphlets is done in the hope of planting a small seed in the non-Christian’s mind that will eventually blossom and lead them to Christ. Tracts can range in content from benign bible musings to the notorious ravings of Jack Chick.

For better or worse, tracts aren’t quite as ubiquitous these days as they used to be. A few years back, Christianity Today even asked some prominent Christians if anyone should still be handing the things out at all. Christian Smith, professor of sociology at Notre Dame, was most definitely in the NO column, stating, “Very rarely. Most people become Christians through relationships, not by being handed pieces of paper. The latter usually has more to do with some Christians feeling like they are ‘doing something’ than anything that changes people.”

That being said, tracts are still around, even Catholic ones. Most Catholic bookstores have a few for sale and Catholic Answers has a whole section devoted to them, so if you feel called to pass some out, they’re available. Whether or not you should do so while speaking in a bad Shatner imitation, that’s entirely up to you.

PULP CATHOLICISM #182

THE TWILIGHT BINGE #015: I SHOT AN ARROW INTO THE AIR

S01E15 – I Shot An Arrow Into The Sky

“The world's first manned space mission goes awry, stranding the crew on an apparent asteroid that is desolate and waterless. One man ruthlessly grasps for survival before a peculiar symbol reveals the group's true location.”

One thing The Twilight Zone rarely had a shortage of was ideas. In fact, with the likes of Ray Bradbury, George Clayton Johnson, Richard Matheson, and Charles Beaumont contributing on a regular basis, one would imagine the show’s creative font was constantly running over. At the beginning, though, that wasn’t the case. As detailed in Don Presnell & Marty McGee’s book, A Critical History of Television's The Twilight Zone, Serling and his wife Carol were dining one evening with another couple, John and Madelon Champion, when  Serling brought up how CBS was pressuring him to deliver a large amount of finished teleplays before they would begin production on the show. Off the cuff, Mrs. Champion suggested Serling should do a story about astronauts who think they’ve landed on an asteroid, but who in reality were just walking around outside Las Vegas. Serling wrote her a check for $500 on the spot and I Shot An Arrow Into The Sky was born. Why don’t these kinds of things ever happen to me?

Anyway, the title of the episode is an obvious reference to the opening lines of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem, The Arrow and the Song. However, since that particular work is generally considered to be a rumination on the long-lasting and often unintended consequences of harsh words, the poem doesn’t actually have much relevance to this episode’s story. I guess Serling could have referenced some other sonnet, but there’s really not that large of a selection dealing with cowardly murderers to choose from.

When you think about it, it’s pretty amazing how quickly the character of crewman Corey goes from believing he’s stranded on an asteroid to deciding he has to bump off his fellow castaways in order to get their water and prolong his own life. I suppose if he cared enough to do so, Corey could attempt to justify himself under the principle outlined in the old Catholic Encyclopedia “that in extreme necessity every man has a right to appropriate whatever is necessary to preserve his life. The starving man who snatches a meal is not an unjust aggressor.” Based on his ramblings, this does appear to be Corey’s basic rationale for doing what he does.

The problem with Corey using this line of reasoning is threefold. One, he isn’t starving yet, so the theft isn’t necessary. Two, even if Corey was starving, this principle falls under the larger category of self defense which also allows for “a thief [to] be slain in the act of carrying away stolen property provided that it cannot be recovered from him by any other means.” Self defense, it turns out, also applies to defense of property because certain material goods are necessary for life and should be protected. And three, Corey isn’t just stealing to survive, he’s flat out killing his friends to get their stuff. This is a big no-no because in no way are Corey’s fellow crewmen showing the slightest indication that they mean Corey any mortal harm. Sure, they want to punch the guy in the mouth, who wouldn’t, but that kind of thing won’t kill him. Without a mortal threat, Corey really has no justification for his actions. In the end, Corey is just a selfish S.O.B. who puts his own self-preservation before all moral concerns. Fortunately, whether he’s on an asteroid or on Earth, he’s still in the Twilight Zone, so we can be sure he’ll get what’s coming to him.

Twilight Tidbits: A good portion of this episode was filmed in Death Valley National Monument, a location which has been utilized in many a movie, including a little one by the name of Star Wars where it served as the planet Tatooine.

PULP CATHOLICISM #181

STILL VOICES #033

CUTAWAYS: THE GROOVE TUBE

C’mon and admit it. This is what most of us who have watched the political conventions over the past two weeks have actually heard…

Sigh, what to do? When prominent Catholics are saying there is absolutely no way in good conscience you can vote for Trump or vote for Clinton or vote for a third party candidate or just nobody at all, what’s left? I guess we do what we always do; consult the Catechism and the USCCB’s Forming Consciences For Faithful Citizenship and muddle through as best we can. Maybe we should just write in Clark Terry; his message is as clear as anyone else’s this year.

PULP CATHOLICISM #180

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

Except for the stray cartoon here and there, and an occasional review for Aleteia (Ghostbusters was the last one I believe), I’ve pretty much been absent around these parts over the past few weeks. It’s just been one of those perfect storm kind of summers, what with burst water pipes, getting attacked by a dog, and the passing of my mother. But just because I’ve been tied up attending to daily disasters doesn’t mean the rest of the web shut down.

Picking up the slack on my delayed Twilight Zone binge, Catholic World Report’s Thomas M. Doran takes a look at the classic episode, Kick The Can. Oddly, he finds the story edifying not because it says something good, but because it completely misses the mark on true grace.

Of course, I haven’t been the only one on hiatus, so has everybody's favorite zombie show. But that hasn’t stopped Allison Low from considering Zombies and the Cure for ‘The Walking Dead’ over at Catholic Stand. With sentiments like, “we too suffer various afflictions in our lives which can result in us becoming less of the person God calls us to be,” it seems Ms. Low has definitely picked up on the show’s theme that all of us are practically zombies already whether we know it or not.

As long as we’re discussing television, perhaps you’ve heard The Exorcist is coming to the small screen as a mini series. The Catholic Geeks have and they’ve posted a few thoughts on the first teaser trailer. Meanwhile, in other possession news, The Curt Jester has a few questions regarding a recent article detailing how the original Exorcist director, William Friedkin, was (or was not) invited by someone at the Vatican to experience the real thing.

But enough of the boob tube, let’s talk movies. If you’ve read my reviews over the years, you might have noticed one thing missing from them is a rating system. That would likely please E. Stephen Burnett who apparently has no use for such things, as he details in a couple of posts at Speculative Faith explaining his problems with religious rating systems. Personally, I think ratings can be useful in certain contexts, I’m just usually more interested in discussing how much I enjoyed a movie rather than how it stacks up to other films.

Speaking of which, you might remember I was a bit lukewarm on the latest film in the X-Men franchise. Well, over at Patheos, Peter T. Chattaway also sat through X-Men: Apocalypse and caught a quick reference to the legend of Nimrod’s arrows. It doesn’t really make the movie any better, but it’s an interesting side note. Better received was Captain America: Civil War, which for the moment is still my favorite comic book movie of the year, at least until Doctor Strange comes out (please, please let that be good). Father Niko at Christ, Coffee, and Comics seems to have enjoyed it as well. He spends some time pondering the good Captain’s portrayal in movies and asks, “What’s wrong with being a boy scout?”

One film I really, really wanted to like but ultimately couldn’t was Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. I guess I just prefer my Luthors to be a bit less of a weenie and my Batmen to be a bit less of a murdering psychotic. DC Comics has acknowledged such criticisms (from most of the world, not just me) and have begun to take steps to address them. Catholic Skywalker has taken a look at the company's recent line of Rebirth titles and gives his recommendations on which ones are worth a look. If you’d prefer your comic material without all the pictures, though, then don’t forget that D. G. D. Davidson already has 14 chapters of his anime-inspired magical girl novel, Jake and the Dynamo, up at his website free for your perusal.

And finally, just in case you missed the news, the Mystery Science Theater 3000 revival is coming to Netflix. Yes, after all these years, we’ve got new movie sign! On that happy note, I’ll leave you until next time. Good reading!

PULP CATHOLICISM #179

PULP CATHOLICISM #178

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: WARCRAFT

“Humans and orcs clash in this feature-film adaptation of the popular fantasy video-game series. After realizing that their home is becoming uninhabitable, a race of orcs travel to the land of Azeroth. There, they encounter the realm's human denizens, who fight back against the invaders. In time, an orc warrior (Toby Kebbell) forges an alliance with a group of humans in order to overthrow his race's corrupt leader (Daniel Wu) and bring peace to the land. Directed by Duncan Jones (Moon), the film co-stars Paula Patton (Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol), Ben Foster (3:10 to Yuma), Dominic Cooper (The Devil's Double), Ruth Negga (World War Z), and Travis Fimmel (Vikings).” – AllMovie Guide

July 3, 2016 - Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time (Year C)

Warcraft is a film that knows exactly what it is; a glorified B-movie based on a video game inspired by tabletop RPGs crossed with a liberal dose of narrative hooks borrowed from a near endless supply of 1980s fantasy novels. As such, it’s highly derivative, overly familiar, and full of two-dimensional characters. And it’s completely unashamed of all of that. Unlike the original Dungeons & Dragons film adaptation (you know, the one with the so-called comic relief), Warcraft gloriously wallows in every possible cliché and trope its source material has to offer.

Of course, such brazen ignoring of good filmmaking doesn’t seem to be sitting too well with many of my peers in the movie critic biz. Because Warcraft cost a gazillion dollars to make and was directed by David Bowie’s son, there seems to have been some kind of expectation that the film was meant to be the next Lord of the Rings rather than just an adaptation of a game designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator. It probably would have been best if the majority of professional reviewers had simply given the movie a pass and left it to be enjoyed by the audience it’s so clearly aimed at. And, yes, there is an audience for this film. Finally, someone has made a new movie for those of us who miss the bygone days of epics such as Beastmaster and Ator: The Fighting Eagle!

Now obviously, thanks to its budget, Warcraft doesn’t look one bit like those sword and sorcery movies of old. Sure, Beastmaster may have had some guys in rubber bat suits lurking around and Ator had that giant cardboard spider, but neither film could have even thought about springing for scenes featuring legions of knights battling hordes of orcs (who as it turns out are basically Klingons with tusks and really big hands) while griffins swoop in and wizards rain lightning down on everybody. It’s all CGI, of course, but considering the source material, that’s really not a problem. After all, it would be rather disingenuous to go watch a video game adaptation and complain that it looks like a video game.

The only place where the film’s gaming origins really harm it is in its pacing. The majority of the film focuses on action, leaving the specifics of the plot to be relegated to quick, exposition heavy moments of dialog much like you would find in the cut scenes of your average video game. This is problematic because, surprisingly, there’s actually a lot of story in Warcraft involving orc politics, ancient magic, dysfunctional families, abandoned legacies, treacherous betrayals, and much more. It’s all presented pretty straight-forward, but the speed with which the film moves through its plot points makes it easy to get confused. And unlike a video game, you can’t just click on your journal to get back up to speed when you do.

That’s not to say the story is deep; let’s not embarrass ourselves. It’s just crowded. It is interesting to note, however, that this is the second new release in the last couple of months to have a central conflict that somewhat taps into the ongoing concerns over immigration. The first was Angry Birds (no, really) which blatantly offered up a fear-laden tale about welcoming immigrants into your country because it’s the nice thing to do, only to discover they just wanted in so they could blow everything up (watch it and tell me if I’m lying).

Warcraft, on the other hand, is a bit subtler (NO, REALLY). Here, we have displaced orcs flooding into a neighboring realm because their corrupt spiritual leadership has made their own homeland uninhabitable. Unfortunately, they’ve also been convinced by that very same leadership that the new land’s native inhabitants are the enemy. Caught in the middle is a handful of orcs (and the obligatory sexy half-orc, you’re welcome gamers) who see their leader’s action as a distortion of their traditions and would rather assimilate than resort to violence. Yeah, the plot is that much on the nose. A film version of Warcraft has been in the works for over a decade, so there’s no reason to assume such subtext is purposeful on the filmmakers’ part, but you know how art sometimes unconsciously imitates life.

Unfortunately, despite the sexy half-orc’s best diplomatic efforts, the resolution of Warcraft’s story ends in swordplay. Duh, it’s Warcraft. As to whether or not that’s how things will turn out in the real world, who can say? Alas, there’s no easy answer to the immigration issue. Even spiritual leaders like the U.S. Bishops can only offer general guidelines such as “people have the right to migrate to sustain their lives and the lives of their families” but also that “a country has the right to regulate its borders and to control immigration.” It’s up to each of us to search our own conscious to determine how we think those guidelines should be applied.

While we do so, though, it might not be a bad idea to keep in mind this week’s first reading from Isaiah in which the Lord calls upon the displaced Jewish exiles returning from Babylonia to rejoice and promises them that they will rebuild Jerusalem and make it great again (No. Really.) But God understands that such an undertaking has no meaning if the people who live there aren’t spiritually renewed along with the land, and so He reminds them that while they should be joyous over reclaiming their home from those who took it from them, true comfort flows through Him alone. The condition of our souls must always be the first concern. That’s probably something to keep in mind no matter which side of the immigration debate we fall on.

Fortunately, while we weigh such heavy issues, we have big, stupid movies like Warcraft to take our mind off things for a couple of hours. Of course, it’s not going to make anyone forget Lord of the Rings anytime soon, but that should have been obvious to everyone (except for maybe movie critics) from the start. Accept it for the overblown schlock it is and you could just find yourself enjoying it. You might not want to listen to me, though. After all, I’m the guy that liked Beastmaster and Ator: The Fighting Eagle.

 

STILL VOICES #032

PULP CATHOLICISM #177

PULP CATHOLICISM #176

THE CONJURING 2 GIVEAWAY

As promised, we have some Conjuring 2 swag to give away courtesy of the fine folks at Grace Hill Media. This includes tickets to see the film in theaters!

Head on over to our Facebook page for details.

WELL, AT LEAST SHE’S IN A HABIT

You just never know who, or what, is going to show up at the advance screenings for a movie like The Conjuring 2, do you?

Hopefully in the next day or so I’ll be able to offer everyone a chance to nab some promotional swag from the movie courtesy of Grace Hill Media. Yep, believe it or not, The Conjuring 2 is getting a heavy push from some faith-based media outlets. In fact, here’s an article Grace Hill passed along to help garner interest from churchgoers.

Evil has been with us, and in our entertainment, since the dawn of time. First plays, now movies and TV shows, always have to have a bad guy – a corrupt cop, a supervillain bent on world domination, a violent criminal or murderer. In earlier, some would say simpler, times, the dark character in entertainment was clearly one audiences were meant to root against. It was easy, or at least easier, to know our heroes from our villains.

Today, though, it can be a little tougher. Far beyond the reluctant anti-hero, some of the characters we’re supposed to find admirable have qualities that just a generation ago would have firmly planted them in the bad-guy camp. From a sexy devil with charm and a heart (Fox’s hit series LUCIFER), to all variety of films (the TWILIGHT series) and TV shows (pretty much anything on The CW), characters who used to headline horror films – vampires, zombies, werewolves, witches – are now the stars we’re supposed to want to emulate.

That’s why it’s refreshing when a film like THE CONJURING 2, in theaters nationwide Friday, comes out. Like the first film, a big hit that took in $318 million at the U.S. box office alone, the sequel vividly portrays the nature of evil – as something destructive and ugly and to be defeated, not embraced. The “bad guy” in this case isn’t a guy – or gal – at all, but a demonic spirit that torments a British family and must be overcome by paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga, reprising their roles from the original film).

The Warrens make sure the Hodgson family, the targets of the supernatural entity, understand it is a malevolent force out to destroy them. As a statement from the real Ed Warren stated at the end of the first film, the new one makes very clear that: “Diabolical forces are formidable. These forces are eternal, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges upon which one we elect to follow.”

A film like THE CONJURING 2, with its forthright depiction of spiritual evil, is a great opportunity to talk with friends about the true nature of the dark forces that inhabit our world. Here are a few questions to get that conversation going:

• Do you believe in good and evil? In the spiritual realm? In the human realm?

• If you do believe in evil, what do you believe is the source of it?

• If you do believe in evil, how do you think it can be defeated?

• What do you think about the trend in entertainment to make heroes out of characters that have traditionally been villainous?

• Do you plan on seeing THE CONJURING 2? Why or why not?

So, do I agree with everything in that article and was The Conjuring 2 a good movie? Well, you’ll just have to wait until this weekend when my review goes up at Aleteia to find out.

PULP CATHOLICISM #175

THE TWILIGHT BINGE #014: THIRD FROM THE SUN

S01E14 – Third From The Sun

“Certain that a nuclear war is imminent, a scientist plots to escape with his family and closest friends in an experimental spaceship to a planet eleven million miles away.”

I’ve lost count of the number of movies and comics I’ve seen over the years that contain the same twist ending as Third From The Sun. Let’s just say it’s a pretty sizeable number. And since this episode is based on a short story by Richard Matheson published some 10 years before this adaptation hit the small screen, it’s safe to say the twist didn’t originate with the Twilight Zone either. Still, the big reveal of what planet our harried heroes are actually escaping TO and not FROM had to be relatively new to most people at the time Third From The Sun aired, so one can only imagine the impact it had.

The funny thing is, even though it’s supposed to be a surprise, director Richard L. Bare took great effort to plant visual clues that the story might not be taking place exactly where we think it is. As noted in Marc Scott Zicree’s Twilight Zone Companion, Bare shot every scene with an extremely wide angle lens, even on close-ups, which was atypical for television productions. He also kept the camera in odd places, such as behind flashlights or underneath glass tables. Bare pulled every trick he could think of to make the viewer feel as if something was off about the whole setting. Pretty clever for a guy whose main claim to fame was directing all but four episodes of Green Acres during its 170 episode run. (I guess it really was the place to be.)

Of course, even without the twist at the end, viewers who caught Third From The Sun when it originally aired would likely still have been riveted by the subject matter. With the Bay of Pigs fiasco just over one year away, Cold War concerns were at an all-time high, so a show dealing with two couples trying to find a way to survive an impending nuclear holocaust probably touched a few nerves. I imagine audiences found it especially chilling to listen to the character of Sturka (a rather Russian sounding name for an American, don’t you think) coldly explain that by striking first, America could limit it’s own civilian casualties to a mere 35 million or so. Given the population of the U.S. in 1960, that suggested our government considered the death of 1 out of every 5 people to be acceptable losses.

Um, how about no. While it’s nearly impossible to conduct a war, even a just one, with no collateral damages, the Catechism is pretty explicit in its instruction that “the use of arms must not produce evils and disorders graver than the evil to be eliminated. The power of modern means of destruction weighs very heavily in evaluating this condition.” Sure, we can bomb each other out of existence, but that doesn’t mean we should. Sometimes, letting a war drag on for awhile can actually be the more moral choice if it results in fewer casualties in the long run. That’s not to say body count is the only measure. The Church recognizes that other concerns such as regional stabilization, political alliances, and economic burdens must also be taken into consideration when deciding a course of action during wartime. But civilian casualties must be in the forefront. As Archbishop Wilton D. Gregory noted during the Iraq war, “The use of anti-personnel landmines, cluster bombs and other weapons that cannot distinguish between soldiers and civilians, or between times of war and times of peace, ought to be avoided.” Perhaps that’s something to keep in mind during this age of drone warfare.

Twilight Tidbits: If the spaceship our intrepid travelers intend to use to make their escape looks a bit familiar, that’s because you’ve probably seen it every time you watch the 1956 classic, Forbidden Planet.

PULP CATHOLICISM #174

PULP CATHOLICISM #173