The Story of Mankind (1957) While the Doomsday Clock ticks, The Spirit of Man and Satan (Vincent Price!) litigate the fate of humanity using Peter Lorre, The Marx Bros, and lots of stock footage as evidence. TIL: Sure, we're all idiots, but there's always hope. God promised.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) - "Lent comes providentially to reawaken us, to shake us from our lethargy." - Pope Francis
Never Too Young to Die (1986) John Stamos, Vanity, Robert Englund, AND Gene Simmons as the evil half-man/half-woman Velvet Von Ragnar! The plot? Who needs one? TIL: Oddly, the title's sentiment is actually correct, so, probably a good idea to keep a clear conscience at all times.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Cosmic Man (1959) - “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” - Pope Benedict XVI
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987) Basically it's The Most Dangerous Game set in space. Has some 80s scream queens, a few robots, and not much else. TIL: Hunting is wrong if the goal is to take pleasure in the animal’s suffering. Probably goes double if the animal is human.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Cosmos: War of the Planets (1978) - "When I say, “My foot is slipping, your mercy, LORD, holds me up. When cares increase within me, your comfort gives me joy." - Psalms 94:18,19
Schlock (1973) Missing link makes mischief. Early horror/comedy (heavy on the latter) from John Landis long before he had laurels to rest on. TIL: The Church has no problem with theories of evolution, even schlocky ones, as long as they don't try to remove God from the equation.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of 2019: After the Fall of New York (1983) - “It’s not that we don’t have enough scoundrels to curse; it’s that we don’t have enough good men to curse them.” - G. K. Chesterton
The Body Shop (1972) Mad doctor stitches together a new bride while lonely Greg the hunchback gets drunk with his pet bunny. Loopy regional horror at its loopiest. TIL: God made the sexes complimentary and equal. Why do mad scientists go straight to love slave?
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) - You have enemies. For who can live on this earth without them? Take heed to yourselves: love them. In no way can your enemy so hurt you by his violence, as you hurt yourself if you love him not. - St. Augustine
Demon Wind (1990) Shameless Evil Dead rip off that somehow manages some laughs and a few effective scares despite itself. TIL: If there's a naked woman standing outside your window at midnight beckoning to you, it's probably a demon. They tend to stick with what works.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Blood Bath (1966) - "I would willingly endure alone all the sufferings of this world to be raised a degree higher in Heaven and to possess the smallest increase of the knowledge of God's greatness." - St. Teresa of Jesus
The Silent Scream (1979) Rote slasher with decent atmosphere. Sort of all-star lineup features Cameron Mitchell (Yay!), Barbara Steele (Double Yay!), and Avery Schreiber (WTF!) TIL: A helpful cinematic reminder that the willful concealment of another's sins is a big no no.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Colossus of New York (1958) - "From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate." - Socrates
Razorback (1984) Aussie entry in the "Jaws, but with a..." genre stands out thanks to awesome cinematography and bizarre bogans. TIL: Apparently, feral hogs have less cholesterol than chicken, so kudos to Jesus for perfecting the dietary law and taking pork off the no-eat list.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Dark Victory (1939) - “The modern man has already one-half the condition of salvation: he is miserable.” - Fulton J. Sheen
The Invisible Boy (1957) Computer seeks world domination with the aid of Robbie the Robot and a strictly disciplined child. Seriously, a Fifty Shades movie has less spankings than this. TIL: Yes, corporal punishment is left to the prudential judgment of the parents, but come on.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of At The World's Core (1976) - “The modern city is ugly not because it is a city but because it is not enough of a city, because it is a jungle, because it is confused and anarchic, and surging with selfish and materialistic energies.” - G. K. Chesterton
Transhumanism, bigotry, and possibly Best Picture of the year. This week I’m reflecting on Get Out for Aleteia.
Prevenge (2016) At her unborn child's urging, a distraught prego murders those involved in her husband's death. Bonus points for the lead being 8 months pregnant while filming. TIL: Despair is an affliction of the soul, but depression can be an illness. It's okay to seek help.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) - "In the realm of evil thoughts none induces to sin as much as do thoughts that concern the pleasure of the flesh." - St. Thomas Aquinas
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987) Musclebound metal head fights evil muppets, showers, and has delusions of grandeur. Big hair, big pecs, and big questions, like how did this get made? TIL: Rock, like any art form, can be done to the glory of God. Perhaps not like this, but it can.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of 200 Motels (1971) "If we have any natural defect, either in mind or body, let us not grieve and feel sorry for ourselves. Who can tell whether, if we had been given a larger share of ability or stronger health, or greater wealth, we would have possessed them to the destruction of our soul!" - St. Alphonsus
Gorgo (1961) English sailors nab a giant sea monster; his even more giant mother hunts them down. Think Taken if Liam Neeson was 250’ tall and liked to crush buildings. TIL: The saying “If mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy” isn’t in the Bible, but there's some truth in it anyway.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Bat Whispers (1930) - "In all human love it must be realized that every man promises a woman, and every woman promises a man that which only God alone can give, namely, perfect happiness." - Fulton J. Sheen
Mirror Mirror (1990) Winona Ryder wannabe uses cursed mirror to go all Carrie on her haters. Karen Black and Yvonne De Carlo help class things up a bit. TIL: Holding onto feelings of hurt ultimately just ends up causing more hurt, for yourself and others.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Crash (1977) - “The most beautiful and stirring adventure that can happen to you is the personal meeting with Jesus." - St. John Paul II
Joysticks (1983) Fairly standard 80s teen sex comedy. Might appeal to Joe Don Baker fans and those nostalgic for playing 8-bit games in dank, sweat-smelling video arcades. TIL: Gaming isn't really sinful unless you forsake required duties for it. Strip gaming on the other hand...
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Cinderella 2000 (1977) - “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love," - Saint Teresa of Calcutta
Red Christmas (2016) Not the first, but among the worst movies to feature the deformed survivor of a botched abortion seeking revenge. Which side of the debate was this even supposed to appeal to? TIL: Pro-life covers all ages, all people, not just the ones we think deserve it.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Baron Blood (1972) - "The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness." - Matt 6:22.23a
Rat Race (2001) Umpteenth riff on It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Mad World without the star power and a 50/50 joke success ratio at best. That Jon Lovitz car window scene was pretty funny, though. TIL: The love of money is the root of all mediocre comedies, or something like that.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of When Worlds Collide (1951) - "I know well that the greater and more beautiful the work is, the more terrible will be the storms that rage against it." -St. Faustina
Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965) Mars needs women, again, this time preferably in bikinis. Fortunately, a disfigured android astronaut is around to thwart them. TIL: Who taught Martians women exist just for sex? Guess their sexual revolution was a complete failure too.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Chillers (1987) - "Hell is God's great compliment to the reality of human freedom and the dignity of human choice." - G. K. Chesterton
Attack of the Puppet People (1958) Lonely codger shrinks people and keeps them prisoner as puppets. They don’t really attack so much as get drunk and grumble. TIL: If this is what the elderly get up to when feeling abandoned, no wonder the USSCB recommends keeping them company.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) - "You have not failed. You have gained experience." - St. Josemaria Escriva
Killer Tongue (1996) Meteorite metamorphs woman into snake tongued monster, pastel poodles into drag queens, and a nun into a majorette. After that, it gets really weird. TIL: "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep the tongue from evil ."-1 Peter 3:10. Nuff said.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Zombie Lake (1981) - “A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.” - G. K. Chesterton
My quick overview of all the movies you (or anyone else) probably didn't go see this year. This week, I'm sizing up Oscar's best-picture nominees for Aleteia.
Howling V: The Rebirth (1989) It’s Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None with 100% more werewolf. In theory, anyway, as they hardly show the thing. TIL: You might think Christie’s take on the mark of Cain and inevitable justice would be even better with lycanthrophy. Nope.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Atom Age Vampire (1960) - "To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable." - G. K. Chesterton
Baxter (1989) Sociopathic bull terrier with an internal monologue moves from home to home until finally finding a master even worse than he is. Not for pet lovers. Or human lovers for that matter. TIL: Is this why the lower animals weren't given rational souls? Smart move, God.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A Bullet for the General (1967) - “Laugh and grow strong.” - St. Ignatius
Skeeter (1993) Probably the worst entry in the mercifully short-lived giant Mosquito genre. Only for those who absolutely have to see every Buck Flower appearance ever. TIL: Leviticus advises to avoid eating certain insects. Shouldn't there be a quid pro quo in there somewhere?
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Blood Sisters (1987) - "It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." - Aristotle
Warriors of the Apocalypse (1985) 5% Mad Max, 5% H. Rider Haggard’s She, 90% utter vapidity. Despite the laser eyes and Village People fashions, even the supreme fertility gods can't save this one. TIL: Liturgical dancing isn't going to get any less silly looking in the future.
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Amazing Dobermans (1976) - "Let dogs delight to bark and bite, for God hath made them so." - Isaac Watts
