Thursday, May 31, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 31, 2018

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (1985) Bo Svenson earns a paycheck swinging a sword at nothing in this Corman quickie. Answers the unasked question what if Chewbacca was a souless yeti? TIL: As the kid learns, one of the reasons most magic is wrong is the selfish motivation.

Demons

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Demons (1985) - "Cinema is the ultimate pervert art. It doesn't give you what you desire - it tells you how to desire." - Slavoj Žižek

And finally, given the especially vile temperament of social media today, I can think of no better time to celebrate #NationalSmileDay than right now!

smile

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 30, 2018

Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space

The Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space (1985) Occasionally charming student film has frisky femaliens turning their lackluster lovers into garden vegetables. TIL: Not sure this is the consequences the Church had in mind, but she does warn against premarital sex.

Flash Gordon

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Flash Gordon (1980) - "There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds." - G. K. Chesterton

Now Showing Marquee 2

And, just in case you thought my positive review of Solo: A Star Wars Story was the only one out there, here’s Catholic Skywalker’s take on the latest from Lucasfilm and Disney.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 29, 2018

Raw Force

Raw Force (1982) Capt. Cameron Mitchell & The Burbank Karate Club fight psuedo-Hitler and a cult of cannibal monks. Also, zombie ninjas. Sometimes quantity over quality works. TIL: If your religion condones human trafficking and eating human flesh, chances are it's a false one.

Dante's Inferno

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Dante's Inferno (1911) - "On the wicked he will rain coals of fire and brimstone; a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup." - Psalms 11:6

Monday, May 28, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 28, 2018

Zone Troopers

Zone Troopers (1985) Yanks and Nazis battle over downed UFO and it's surviving occupant. Might bore some, but it's Charles Band at his peak. TIL: "Everyone who serves... is concretely called to defend good, truth and justice in the world," no matter what that "good" looks like.

Green Berets, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Green Berets (1968) - "The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war." - Douglas MacArthur

Sunday, May 27, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 27, 2018

Twilight People

The Twilight People (1972) No-budget knockoff of The Island of Dr. Moreau gets points for its amazing man-bat and Pam Grier's panther woman. Better than Brando's. TIL: While against their creation, the Church would still recognize the souls and inherent dignity of chimeras.

Day of Wrath

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Day of Wrath (1943) - “A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.” - Mark Twain

Saturday, May 26, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 26, 2018

House That Cried Murder

The House That Cried Murder (1973) William Congreve was right, Hell has no fury... Look, if you're gonna marry crazy, don't act so surprised when crazy shows up after you get caught cheating. TIL: Adultery is one of the big ten no-nos. Of course, there are consequences.

Night of the Blood Beast

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Night of the Blood Beast (1958) - "One man with a head on his shoulders is worth a dozen without." - Elizabeth I

Friday, May 25, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 25, 2018

Ava's Possessions

Ava's Possessions (2015) Following her exorcism, Ava is required to attend AA type meetings for the formerly possessed. Clever idea spends too much time on unnecessary murder mystery. TIL: After dealing with a demon, wouldn't working mass into your schedule be a good idea?

My World Dies Screaming

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of My World Dies Screaming (1958) - "Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths." - Charles Spurgeon

Now Showing Sign

And finally, over at Aleteia, there’s my mostly positive take on Solo: A Star Wars Story. There’s nothing in the movie that’s going to change the minds of the #BoycottSolo folks, but overall it’s still a fun flick.

P.S. I’m still waiting on all those alleged payoffs from Disney for writing nice things about their movies.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 24, 2018

Ghostwatch

Ghostwatch (1992) Legendary mockumentary has the BBC broadcasting live from a haunted house on Halloween. Naturally, things go all to pot. Believe the hype, it's excellent. TIL: Catholic theology actually allows for ghosts, but wisely advises against seeking them out.

Liquid Sky

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Liquid Sky (1982) - "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months." - Oscar Wilde

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 23, 2018

Mugsy's Girls

Mugsy's Girls (1984) Alleged comedy has house mother Ruth Gordon take a non-singing Laura Branigan and her sorority sisters to Vegas to mud wrestle. As classy as it sounds. TIL: Someone needs to tell Mugsy the Church holds non-parent caregivers to the same standards as parents.

Monster Walks, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Monster Walks (1932) - "What an ugly beast the ape, and how like us." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 22, 2018

Zoombies

Zoombies (2016) Like Jurassic Park, but with zoo animals... that are zombies. Probably a case of coming up with the title first, then patching together a movie around it. TIL: As they serve a common educational good, the Church is okay with zoos, as long as they aren't cruel.

Churake Legend

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Chorake Legend (1988) - "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." - Winston Churchill

Monday, May 21, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 21, 2018

Piranha Part Two The Spawning

Piranha Part Two: The Spawning (1981) James Cameron sort of directs this tale of flying fish feasting on tourists. Silly start to the Cameron/Henriksen team. TIL: Animal experiments are morally acceptable if they help save lives. Yeah, creating flying piranha doesn't pass muster.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972) - "The mob is the mother of tyrants." - Diogenes

Sunday, May 20, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 20, 2018

Malibu High

Malibu High (1979) Standard drive-in fodder has schoolgirl seducing teachers to get good grades. Her success at smalltime extortion encourages her to become a hooker, then a hitgirl. TIL: As Screwtape explained to Wormwood, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one.

Rewind This

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Rewind This! (2013) - "Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it." - Alfred Hitchcock

Saturday, May 19, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 19, 2018

He Knows You're Alone

He Knows You're Alone (1980) Jilted groom stalks brides to be. Oddly appealing slasher has very little gore, way too much dialog, and just enough Tom Hanks to let you know he might have a future in movies. TIL: And some people wonder why the Church requires premarital counseling.

Monster From The Ocean Floor

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Monster from the Ocean Floor (1954) - "Repentant tears wash out the stain of guilt." - St. Augustine

Now Showing Marquee 5

Holy, holy, holy? Maybe. Over at Aleteia I take a look at 3 "holy" movies now streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Friday, May 18, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 18, 2018

Church, The

The Church (1989) Vengeful demons besiege a cathedral. Perfectly directed, brilliantly eerie, totally incoherent; just the way a good nightmare should be. TIL: If you don't want demons in your church, don't worry about the barricades, just go to confession regularly.

Waxwork

"A good heart will help you to a bonny face... and a bad one will turn the bonniest into something worse than ugly." - Emily Bronte

Now Showing Marquee 3

And finally, in case you missed it, I’ve posted my review of Deadpool 2 in which I consider the all important question of whether or not it’s okay to laugh at fart jokes.

DEADPOOL 2

Deadpool 2

As a moviegoer, one is eventually faced with the inevitable choice; do you laugh at the fart joke or don’t you? If you wish to be the kind of viewer who concentrates solely on film as an art form, then you probably can’t, at which point it’s best to not even bother with the Deadpool franchise. If, on the other hand, you’re not the least bit perturbed by the lowest common denominator, then come prepared to laugh your derriere off.

That’s not to say Deadpool 2 is nothing but an endless stream of fart jokes. In fact, if memory serves, there aren’t any actual gags about gassiness. Trouser browning, groin punching, and tons of penis related material, absolutely, but no actual fart jokes. Still, you get the idea. Any film where defeating one of the villains involves exposing his bare bottom and shoving something up it isn’t one that takes the high ground.

Now, let’s give Deadpool his due. The first movie actually had a few touching moments involving our hero’s undying devotion to his wife. Even amongst all the chaos and blue humor, this nod to normality (which always tends to reassert itself in these types of movies no matter how hard they try to be shocking) gave the first film an unexpected heart. That trend continues in Deadpool 2, though this time around the sentimentality is centered on the notion of the necessity of family.

It begins with an unexpected tragedy which causes Deadpool to seek solace with the X-Men. Very reluctantly, the world’s premier mutant super-group agrees take the merc with a mouth on as a trainee under the condition that he not kill anyone ever again. Naturally, Deadpool abides by this restriction for all of ten minutes into his first mission, at which point he opens fire in an attempt to stop a portly foul-mouthed young mutant with the regrettable name of Firefist from being arrested.

Disowned, depowered, and detained, Deadpool and Firefist become easy targets for Cable, a soldier from the future who has traveled back in time to execute Firefist before the boy can go full supervillain. Thanks to Deadpool’s intervention, Cable’s first attempt fails spectacularly. Unfortunately, the whole sorry episode convinces Firefist to team up with an unexpected, but much welcome classic X-Men villain. In a last ditch effort to save Firefist from a life of crime and/or death by Cable, Deadpool assembles his own team, X-Force, comprised of second-rate losers such as Domino, Shatterstar, and The Vanisher. Imagine their surprise when Cable himself shows up and wants to join.

Deadpool 2 is comic book simple and, thankfully, it never pretends to be anything else. The extra bloody action is appropriately unrealistic and over the top, the character development is as thin as the paper these heroes originally appeared on, and the jokes… well, it’s a Deadpool movie, isn’t it? This a film which features the most cringe inducing Basic Instinct parody ever. There’s nothing here that comes anywhere close to being highbrow. But that’s fine, especially if you’re the type of moviegoer who has decided that, yes, you actually can laugh at the fart joke.

Ah, but what if you’re a Christian moviegoer? Then the question becomes SHOULD you laugh at the fart joke? Simply falling back on WWJD isn’t really much help. The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about what Jesus found humorous for the simple fact that it doesn’t matter. The Bible relates only what we need to know for our salvation, and whether or not Jesus would have guffawed over the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles is of little consequence when it comes to saving our souls.

That leaves the Church to help out, and as usual, she puts most of the burden of the decision right on us as individuals. As we’ve mentioned often before, Pope Pius XII wrote in his encyclical Miranda Prorsus that those involved in the motion picture industry are “forbidden in conscience to present motion pictures that are contrary to faith and sound morals.” But when Hollywood lets us down and does produce such a movie (imagine that), then we as Christians shouldn’t go see it.

So, is Deadpool 2 contrary to faith and sound morals? Well, if you take Deadpool as the voice of moral authority in the film, then yes, no question. However, the movie itself never does that. The film is full of characters who continuously point out that (1) Deadpool is insane and (2) nobody in their right mind would, or should, do or say some of the things he does, especially if they want to get into Heaven (Spoilers: that’s actually a plot point). In its own way, the film really does have a moral center. It just also has the sense of humor of a bunch of thirteen year boys hanging out and telling each other to pull their fingers. If you find that kind of thing funny (and God help me, sometimes I do), then Deadpool 2 just might be for you.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 17, 2018

Cellar, The

The Cellar (1989) Kid accidentally frees monster created by Indians to kill the white man. Being an equal opportunity demon, it decides not to discriminate. TIL: Actually, most missionary priests tried to help Native Americans. The soldiers they accompanied, not always so much.

Brazil

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Brazil (1985) - “A characteristic of the great saints is their power of levity. Angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly.” - G. K. Chesterton

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 16, 2018

Ebirah Horror of the Deep

Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966) The Big G takes time out from smashing spies to have lobster for lunch. Or is Ebirah a shrimp? Whatever, he's not kosher. TIL: In truth, kashrut has little to do with health and everything to do with imparting moral lessons and self discipline.

Beast With 1,000,000 Eyes, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955) - "People who deny the existence of dragons are often eaten by dragons. From within." - Ursula K. Le Guin

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 15, 2018

Don't Bother To Knock

Don’t Bother to Knock (1952) Marilyn Monroe's foray into the psycho babysitter genre is actually one of her best roles. The camera loves her even when she's crazy. TIL: Rather than stigmatization of the mentally ill, the Church urges ministry and professional care.

Time After Time

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Time After Time (1979) - “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” - Mother Teresa

Monday, May 14, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 14, 2018

Murder Can Hurt You

Murder Can Hurt You! (1980) Made for TV riff on Murder by Death features just about anyone that ever appeared on The Love Boat. Definitely more Mad Magazine than Neil Simon. TIL: There's never a Father Brown parody in these things. C'mon, we're Catholic, we can take a joke.

Earthbound

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Earthbound (1981) - "The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances." - Aristotle

Sunday, May 13, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 13, 2018

Night of a Thousand Cats

The Night of a Thousand Cats (1972) Playboy feeds his one night stands to his collection of carnivorous kitties. Except for the heads; those he saves. TIL: If morality or disease isn't enough to turn you off hookup culture, maybe fear of being fed to felines will do the trick.

Attack of the Crab Monsters

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957) - "The crab that walks too far falls into the pot." - Haitian Proverb

Saturday, May 12, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 12, 2018

School Spirit

School Spirit (1985) Kid dies trying to buy a condom; comes back as a ghostly groper. Made back when #MeToo was the answer to "Who else wants to molest some women today?" TIL: Men are to treat women the way Jesus treats his bride, the Church. Don't think He ever gets all handsy.

Return to Oz

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of return to Oz (1985) - "A man is known by the company he keeps." - Aesop

Friday, May 11, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 11, 2018

Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2015) Whatever you imagined when you read the title is better than this actually is. At least these actresses have alternatives to doing porn. TIL: The Bible's command to visit the imprisoned doesn't mean you have to watch their crappy movies.

Half Human

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Half Human (1958) - "What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action." - Meister Eckhart

Thursday, May 10, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: MAY 10, 2018

Yongary Monster From The Deep

Yongary, Monster from the Deep (1967) South Korean Godzilla knockoff wherein a giant analogy for the Korean War dances through Seoul and eats up natural resources. TIL: War, huh, good God, what is it good for? If it doesn't meet the conditions for just war, absolutely nothing.

Incredible Journey, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Incredible Journey (1963) - “I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.” - Abraham Lincoln