DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 30, 2018

Cruel Jaws (1995) Calling it Jaws 5 doesn't allow you to splice in scenes from much better shark movies. Or use the Star Wars theme for that matter! C'mon, Bruno, you're better than this. Well, sometimes. TIL: Imitation may be flattery, but flattery's a sin. So is this movie.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of City That Never Sleeps (1953) - "The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 29, 2018

Cannibal Apocalypse (1980) The indispensable John Saxon stars in this odd crime/horror hybrid in which former POWs develop a taste for human flesh. Worst PTSD analogy ever? TIL: St. John Chrysostom considered slander a type of cannibalism in which one devours another's good name.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - “A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.” – Charlotte Bronte

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 28, 2018

Rebel High (1987) Blame Canada! After all, they're the ones who made this alleged comedy. Imagine Rock 'n' Roll High School with no heart, soul, or reason to exist. TIL: The CCC states that moral virtues grow through education. Of course, that depends on what you're taught.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Hysterical (1983) - "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." - George Washington

And finally, over at The New Liturgical Movement, they’ve run across an old 1962 motivational short film made by the Franciscans to promote vocations. Oh, did I mention it stars.. Jack Nicholson? Go check it out.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 27, 2018

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987) Girl group gets gored by a ghostly greaser with a drill-tipped guitar and a dislike for the sexually active. It's Freddy plus Jason doing the Stray Cat Strut. TIL: Chastity is not repression; it appreciates and respects God's gift of sex.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Freaks (1932) - “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss

And finally, here’s one more Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom review for you, this time from Catholic Skywalker who has a problem with the film’s particular sour brand of moral equivalence.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 26, 2018

Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1989) Not as gross as a typical Troma, not as fun as the title suggests, but okay enough to be a regular on USA Up All Night. TIL: We can't judge other's souls, but if you name yourself the Cycle Sluts, some pre-assessment of character is warranted.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Endgame (1983) - "Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical." - Blaise Pascal

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 25, 2018

Parasite (1982) Typical 80s 3-D movie where the Ds stand for drab, dated, and downright dumb. Could also stand for Demi Moore, who had to start somewhere. TIL: C.S. Lewis described evil not as the opposite of good, but as spoiled goodness, a parasite living off the real thing.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Graduation Day (1981) - "In a way the philosopher and the barber are of the same guild; the barber cuts hair and the philosopher splits hairs." - José Ortega y Gasset

And finally, a couple of items of interests. Universal has announced plans to release their Complete 30-Film Classic Monsters Blu-ray Collection on August 28. Over 46 hours of monster movies spanning 25 years, including the original Spanish version of Dracula which was filmed simultaneously with the Lugosi classic. The price tag is a steep $150, but will probably go on sale at some point.

Meanwhile, Shudder has released a trailer for The Last Drive-In, a 24 hour marathon of 13 horror films hosted by the one and only Joe Bob Briggs. Tune in July 13th for what will likely be the last chance to see Joe Bob do his spiel.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 24, 2018

The Giant Gila Monster (1959) 50 feet long or not, there's not enough giant gila monster in this movie. Plenty of aged teens singing bad folk songs though. TIL: Okay, God didn't really say, "Dance, children, dance!" but he's pretty much okay with it as long as it isn't indecent.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of I Married a Vampire (1987) - "The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing." - Blaise Pascal

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 23, 2018

Zoltan, Hound of Dracula (1978) Dumb commies awaken Vlad's vampire pooch. It isn't long before the neck of every pet in America is in danger. No, really. TIL: With all the kerfuffle over whether or not there are pets in Heaven, nobody ever seems to worry if bad dogs go to Hell.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Animal World (1956) - "He who refuses to learn deserves extinction." - Rabbi Hillel

Space patrol!?! Have to say, I'm sort of giddy that we're talking about the reality of space cadets in my lifetime. Even the Vatican has something to say on the topic. In a recent interview with the Catholic News Agency, Brother Guy Consolmagno, SJ, director of the Vatican Observatory asks us all to  give space peace a chance.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 22, 2018

The Final Terror (1983) Darryl Hannah pays her acting dues in this backwoods slasher. Decent outdoors cinematography and unique killer, but otherwise meh. TIL: Despite the occasional madman, spending time in nature is a good way to recognize the touch of its creator.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Brain Eaters (1958) - "Just as it is easier to sin in thought than in deed, correspondingly, it is more difficult to struggle with thoughts than with deeds." - St. Maxim the Confessor

Time didn’t allow me to review Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, though I did give it a meager 2.5 out of 5 stars over at Letterboxd. Yeah, it’s pretty average. Still, if you just have to read something about it, Titus Techera has a somewhat spoilery piece up at The Catholic World Report entitled “Science, Leviathan and Jurassic World” in which he explores some possible meanings for the dinosaurs in the franchise.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 21, 2018

Spook Busters (1946) Slip, Sach, and the rest of the Bowery Boys do the old dark house bit. Is there a guy in a bad gorilla suit? Of course, there's a guy in a bad gorilla suit! TIL: If sin truly does make you stupid, the Bowery Boys must have been really, really naughty.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of American Pop (1981) - “Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent” - Victor Hugo

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 20, 2018

Fear No Evil (1981) Gay director makes horror film with gay bullying subtext, but inexplicably has the symbolically gay lead turn out to literally be Satan himself. Huh. TIL: Sure, the Church has some tough teachings on sexuality, but nowhere does it promote self-loathing.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Island of the Burning Damned (1967) - "We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence." - Mother Teresa

And finally, a little something from the archives to celebrate the anniversary of Jaws released on this day 43 years ago. I'm (sob) old enough to have seen it in the theater.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 19, 2018

Chosen Survivors (1974) Random strangers selected by lottery to ride out a nuclear war in an underground bunker are beset by vampire bats. Some people just can't get a break. TIL: "Love your neighbor as yourself" even when you don't get to choose who that neighbor is.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Slaughter High (1986) - "A faith that hasn't been tested can't be trusted." - Adrian Rogers

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 18, 2018

Terminal Island (1973) Oddball Women-In-Prison variant has all the murderers in California sentenced to a deserted island where they must make do Lord of the Flies style. TIL: Prisons should be designed to aid the restoration or conversion of offenders, not just dispose of them.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of House of Usher (1960) - "Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive, it isn't." - Richard Bach

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 17, 2018

The Stepfather (1987) First rate thriller follows the pitch-perfect Terry O'Quinn as a psycho in search of the perfect family. Sadly, the only thing that rises to meet his expectations is the body count. TIL: True fatherhood is all about sacrifice, but not that kind. Yeesh.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Grave of the Vampire (1972) - "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." - Sigmund Freud

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 16, 2018

Baskin (2015) Cadre of crude Turkish cops experience one hell of a night. Literally. Dreamlike, disturbing, and downright gross. TIL: The name and description may change across religions, but apparently there's ecumenical agreement that Hell is a place you don't want to go.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) - "The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis." - Dante

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 15, 2018

Funeral Home (1980) Teen helps grandma convert the local lich-house into a B&B, because who wouldn't want to overnight in such a place. Somebody decides to pull a Norman Bates. TIL: Christian funerals are grounded not in death, but in resurrection and ascension. So, not all sad.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Evil Laugh (1986) - “When you need an answer, look over your left shoulder and ask your death.” - Carlos Castaneda

As I’ve noted over the past week, I’m deep into a Babylon 5 binge. That’s not the only show available out there right now, though. Over at The Catholic World Report, Thomas P. Harmon has recently finished running through Netflix’s reboot of Lost in Space and finds it a good watch. He writes…

“Science fiction, at its best, does two things. First, it probes our relationship with technology. Second, in common with the Western’s exploration of frontiers, by putting us into unfamiliar settings it can show the contours of our problems, shining a new light on them or framing them in a way that allows us to see them clearly. Netflix’s Lost in Space does both these things well.”

Okay, if he says so. Just saying I could nitpick if I was so inclined. Still, while I’m not quite as big on the show as Harmon, I didn’t hate myself for watching it and will definitely be back for Season 2. Any thoughts?

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 14, 2018

Demonic Toys (1992) Cranky demon possesses playthings in an effort to gain control of a policewoman's unborn child. More stupid fun as Charles Band indulges his tiny terror OCD once again. TIL: Hey, maybe this why the Bible talks about putting away childish things?

I goofed up yesterday’s Instagram, so here it is again with the proper quote.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Laugh, Clown, Laugh (1928) - "Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals." - Agnes Repplier

And here’s yesterday’s quote with the proper image.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Crawling Eye (1958) - "An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” - Mahatma Gandhi

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 13, 2018

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) Po' white trash runs afoul of super-sized swamp suckers. Yvette Vickers vamps it up as the bayou's worst bride.  TIL: The exchange of vows is the most important part of a wedding. It might be a good idea to pay attention to them.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Laugh, Clown, Laugh (1928) - "An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” - Mahatma Gandhi

I’m halfway through my Babylon 5 binge and the Season 3 episode Passing Through Gethsemane is a prime example of why it's time well spent. It’s a standalone story chock full of ruminations on forgiveness from a surprisingly Christian perspective, despite the fact that the writer isn’t really one himself. So if you’ve never seen Babylon 5,  have Amazon Prime, and think you might enjoy a show that handles religion respectfully, give this episode a try.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 12, 2018

Lady Frankenstein (1971) Eurosleaze follow-up to the classic tale replaces quality with boobs. For those who've long left puberty in the past, the results are unsurprisingly unsatisfying. TIL: This is absolutely not what JPII meant by the feminine genius.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Americathon (1979) - "There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle." ~ Alexis de Tocqueville

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 11, 2018

Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973) Angelic choir-girl is targeted for grooming by predatory lez vampire. Icky and atmospheric cult classic with at least one perfect scene. TIL: Of course evil focuses on the innocent, it already has its hooks in everyone else.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Beastmaster (1982) - "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 10, 2018

The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974) Top tier zombie tale takes its time, but pays off in the end. Includes obligatory 70s hippie environmentalist hero trying to save the world from bug killer. TIL: We are stewards of this Earth, not it's owners. Act accordingly.

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974) - "Never look back unless you are planning to go that way." - Henry David Thoreau

Besides my obsessive movie watching, I’m also halfway through Season One of my Babylon 5 binge on Amazon Prime and the writing/story construction is as spot on as I remember. Any series of quality on modern television owes everything to this show.