Wednesday, June 30, 2021

THE TWILIGHT BINGE #020: ELEGY

S01E20 – Elegy

“Three astronauts land on what looks like Earth 200 years before they left - only all of the people seem frozen in time.”

Charles Beaumont met Ray Bradbury in Los Angeles during the summer of 1946 where the two quickly became friends due to a shared love of comic strips. That’s right, two of science fiction’s most celebrated authors bonded over a shared love of the daily funnies which, if nothing else, shows they were men of good taste. But I digress. Bradbury quickly became Beaumont’s mentor, reading and offering suggestions on the aspiring writer’s early efforts. And nothing could better illustrate Bradbury’s influence on Beaumont’s work than Elegy, the 20th episode of The Twilight Zone.

What with its Terran space travelers discovering an alien world that looks a lot like home, though with some noticeably weird differences, the entire tale plays like something right out of Bradbury’s Martian Chronicles. That being said, Beaumont’s story is definitely a bit darker than most of Bradbury’s output. Despite all of the whimsical elements on display, particularly Cecil Kellaway’s excellent turn as the planet’s ever-smiling tour guide/caretaker Wickwire, Elegy ends on a very bleak note.

And yet, it’s that oddball mixture of tones that makes the episode so memorable. The end, in which the distressingly cheerful Wickwire flat out murders our entire crew of protagonists, probably wouldn’t pack such a gut punch if we hadn’t been lulled into a false sense of security by the goofiness which preceded it. I mean, as the astronauts are walking through the various silly set pieces such as the beauty contest with the somewhat elderly pageant queen, who would suspect all the people on display are really preserved corpses on an asteroid sized graveyard.

In an interview with Cemetery Dance magazine, Beaumont’s son Chris stated his belief that his father “saw the show as an opportunity to ask profound, philosophical questions in the guise of a good yarn.” Which begs the question, what underlying profundities is the author trying to get at with Elegy? Well, on that point, Jordan Prejean over at The Twilight Zone Vortex makes a pretty good guess. He notes…

“It seems that Beaumont is attempting to show us how we view ourselves and want others to view us as well. The entire premise of this episode, the idea that people would build a sprawling customized cemetery on a drifting asteroid in the middle of outer space, is absurd, as one of the astronauts points out. But the absurdity exists for a reason. Beaumont’s trying to draw the viewer’s attention to the fact that most people value their own self-image enough that even after they die they want to be put on display for others to see, like a piece of art in a museum.”

In short, Beaumont seems to be taking a jab at that same type of narcissism as Ambrose Bierce did in his Devil’s Dictionary when he defined a mausoleum as “the final and funniest folly of the rich."

You know, the Church has never said that attaining a certain status in life is a sin. In fact, St. Paul himself relied on quite a number of wealthy women to help support his ministry. But in his letters, you never find praise for their wealth or position of power or anything like that. It’s all about the service they provide to the Church and to those in need, the same praise he heaps on those who perform the same deeds but have attained less illustrious stations in life.

Status is fine if attained a by-product of one’s calling, but it must never be the goal in life (or death for that matter). No, that focus must be on something else. As the Catechism puts it, “Desire for true happiness frees man from his immoderate attachment to the goods of this world so that he can find his fulfillment in the vision and beatitude of God. 'The promise [of seeing God] surpasses all beatitude… In Scripture, to see is to possess… Whoever sees God has obtained all the goods of which he can conceive.”

Twilight Tidbits: Keen ears may recognize the sound effects heard inside the Earthmen’s spaceship. They would be recycled less than a decade later on the bridge of the USS Enterprise.

Monday, June 28, 2021

CUTAWAYS: THE NEW ADVENTURES OF FLASH GORDON

Thanks to Tubi, I’m currently revisiting Filmation’s classic Saturday morning cartoon The New Adventures of Flash Gordon and I’m really digging the trip down nostalgia lane. I have to say, though, there’s one thing which flew over my head while watching the show as a kid that is now blatantly obvious to my adult self. That would be just how many of the episodes revolve around the various women of Mongo wanting to bed our hero, like immediately. Dale Arden noticed, though. A lot.


That stink-eye Dale gives Princess Aura is meme-worthy animation. Ah, jealousy. Now you’d think the Bible would completely disapprove of that old green-eyed monster but, as with all things scriptural, it’s a bit more nuanced than some might imagine. In fact, there are times the Biblical authors describe God himself as jealous, so by default, it can’t be an all bad, right?

The trick, it seems, is to distinguish between jealously and its closely related cousins, covetousness and envy. The Church defines covetousness as the desire for that which is not yours and currently unattainable as it belongs to someone else or lies outside your ability to get. Envy, in the other hand, is described as the desire of that which is not yours and the begrudging of the person who actually possesses it. Both of these forms of “jealousy” are right out for obvious spiritual reasons.

True jealousy, on the other hand, is simply the fear of losing something that you feel already belongs to you. It’s a naturally occurring defensive emotion and as such is neither good nor bad in and of itself. But if that’s the case, why do we have verses like Sirach 26:6 which warn, “There is grief of heart and sorrow when a wife is envious of a rival, and a tongue-lashing makes it known to all."? What makes one kind of jealously bad and the other not?

Well, to figure that out, let’s go back to that idea of a jealous God. The Bible tells us that God gets jealous when He sees His people being seduced by the religions of false gods. So, in that context, His “jealousy” is an expression of His desire to preserve His relationship with us against any rivals, to keep us particularly as His own. And that kind of jealousy is fine. It’s merely an indication of a deep emotional attachment.

What’s not fine is if we use that natural feeling of jealousy as an excuse to indulge in actions that are wrong. These can include irrational self-doubt and loathing, unbridled rage, hatred of the perceived threat, or even, if Lifetime movies are any indication, flat-out murder. All of those things can damage us spiritually and harm our relationship with God and others.

Although I have a few episodes of Flash Gordon left, it’s to Dale’s credit that, so far, she has not succumbed to any of those negative repercussions of jealousy. Even when Mongo’s princesses are full-on displaying themselves like baboons in heat, she keeps her cool. She basically acknowledges the obvious, reminds Flash where his bread is buttered, and then gets back to the important mission at hand. Now if only Prince Barin had followed her example.

Sunday, June 27, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 27, 2021

Cellar Dweller (1988) Comic artist cribbing ideas from a magic tome accidentally summons a demon. Standard 80's creature feature for when you need that kind of fix. TIL: Treasure Chest, a Catholic-oriented series, was one of America's longest running comic series (502 issues).

And then there’s this…

Friday, June 25, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 25, 2021

A Day at the Races (1937) The Marx Bros sans Zeppo cause chaos at a sanitarium and horse racing track. Maybe not their best, but better than a lot of the rest. TIL: In 732, Pope Gregory III issued a ban on eating horse meat, a not uncommon practice at the time. Horses approved.

Sing A New Song: Styx - Crash of the Crown (2021) Surprisingly Progressive move forward while still managing to call back to Floyd, Yes, The Who, and of course, younger Styx themselves. Laudable Lyrics: Say your prayers, we could all use a miracle now to save us from ourselves.

Wednesday, June 23, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 23, 2021

The Dark and the Wicked (2020) Despite warnings, guilt-ridden siblings visit their dying father. Another patented dysfunctional family creep-fest from Bertino. TIL: Benedict XVI noted one way civilizations are judged is by the place they give to the elderly in their communities.

Dad Rock Diary: Sammy Johns - Sammy Johns (1973) Oddball mix of casual sex and socially conscious Jesus people lyrics. Laudable Lyrics: My brothers are all black and white, yellow too, and the red man is right to expect a little from you. Promise and then follow through, America.

Saturday, June 19, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 19, 2021

Things (1989) Botched fertility experiment spawns, well... things. So legendary in its drunken ineptness it transcends judgement by common cinematic standards. TIL: The Church encourages research into natural ways to overcome infertility, not those that replace the sexual act.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Visiting Hours (1982) "A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints." - Pauline Phillips

Friday, June 18, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 18, 2021

The Brain Eaters (1958) Alien parasites control human minds. Rather tepid take on Heinlein's Puppet Masters with (boo) no actual brain eating. TIL: The soul is the internal principle by which we think, feel, and will. It's there even if the brain is in a vegetative state.

Funny Book Philosophy: Batman Family 001 (1975) Just remembering that time Batgirl and Robin kicked Satan's butt.

Thursday, June 17, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 17, 2021

Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973) Tourist trap hopes a mutant sheep will solve their financial woes. Social messaging muddled beyond all comprehension. TIL: From a certain perspective all people are sheep. What matters is making sure you choose the right Shepherd to follow.

Still Voices - The Alien Factor (1978) "How long should a man's legs be? Long enough to touch the ground." - J. D. Salinger

Sunday, June 13, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 13, 2021

Psycho Goreman (2020) Snotty brat gains control of near omnipotent alien. Lots of fun, but kneecapped by an obnoxious edgelord attitude. TIL: True omnipotence means God can do all that is real and possible, so quit trying that bogus "create a rock too heavy to lift" gotcha.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: The Drums of Jeopardy (1931) "Only a rookie who knows nothing about science would say science takes away from faith. If you really study science, it will bring you closer to God." - Prof. James Tour

Saturday, June 12, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 12, 2021

Ophelia (2018) Hamlet, but Ophelia is the smartest person in Denmark. And maybe a lesbian witch. Do modern feminists just want us to laugh at their movies? TIL: Classic feminism, advocating women's political, social, and economic equality, in no way opposes Catholic teaching.

Dad Rock Diary: Sugarloaf -  Sugarloaf (1970) Fine organ-heavy blues rock, but only the one hit really stands out. Laudable Lyrics: Read the news... so black and white. Makes us believers, thinking we're right. So clear, so very bold, to build it up, and let us hold their lies.

Thursday, June 10, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 10, 2021


Robo-C.H.I.C. (1990) Painfully unfunny parody of Robocop. The lead actress is replaced half way through and you wont notice or care. TIL: It's suggested Jacob didn't realize Rachael had been replaced in their wedding bed because he was drunk from the "mishteh," or drinking party.

Dad Rock Diary: Iggy Pop - Lust For Life (1977) Pop and Bowie meet again. Sounds like two cokehead's riffing on the the Stones and Doors. Which it is. Laudable Lyrics: Yeah, some dumb, weird sin, for a while anyway. With my head on the ledge, that's what you get out on the edge.

Tuesday, June 08, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 8, 2021

The Vast of Night (2019) Two teens track a strange radio signal that may not originate on Earth. Well-done on a dime Outer Limits/Twilight Zone homage. TIL: After inventing radio itself, Guglielmo Marconi set up Radio Vaticana, the official broadcasting service of Vatican City.

Still Voices - Creepshow (1982) "Three things cannot long be hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth." - Confucius

Sunday, June 06, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 6, 2021

American Hot Wax (1978) Highly fictionalized account of the days leading up to Alan Freed's last Cleveland rock show. Just pure energy and doo wop to die for. TIL: Siervas is a South American-based rock ensemble made up entirely of nuns. Wonder what Freed would have made of them?

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Mausoleum (1983) "Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich." - Ambrose Bierce

Saturday, June 05, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 6, 2021

Killer Tomatoes Eat France! (1992) Gangrene's villainous vegetables visit Paris, much to the chagrin of Skippy from Family Ties. Of course it's silly. TIL: France is reportedly losing one church every two weeks, most recently to arson. Tomatoes ain't eating the country, hate is.

Funny Book Philosophy: Xombi 004 (1994)