Monday, August 30, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 30, 2021

Creepozoids (1987) Post-apocalyptic pals hole-up in a bunker. It's DeCoteau, so expect dirt-cheap monsters and obligatory shower sex scenes. TIL: The medieval Church often opposed public bath houses but nobody listened to those prudes, at least until the syphilis epidemic hit.

Dad Rock Diary: Simon & Garfunkel - Bookends (1968) Occasionally wobbly in execution, but some legendary tracks and lyrically as strong as anything the pair ever produced. Laudable Lyrics: "And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know, wo wo wo."

Sunday, August 29, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 29, 2021

Daughter of Dr. Jekyll (1957) Dr. Jeek-el's kid worries she may have inherited some issues from her dear old dad. Another fun time killer from Edgar G. Ulmer. TIL: While the effects of personal sin can affect subsequent generations, personal moral guilt cannot be inherited.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963) “One of the good things about a Catholic church is that it isn't respectable... You can find anyone in it, from duchesses to whores, from tramps to kings.” - Rumer Godden

Saturday, August 28, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 28, 2021

Fire Fight (1988) Megalomaniacal yuppie douchebag thrives after the bombs fall until his ex-wife has enough. Looks like the budget consisted of batteries for the camcorder. TIL: Narcissists can't love in the Christian sense as they only see others as a means of self-affirmation.

Still Voices - Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984) "A hug is worth a thousand words." - Charles Caleb Colton

Friday, August 27, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 27, 2021

Blood of Dracula (1957) Gender flipped rewrite of I Was a Teenage Werewolf with bonus no-nuke proselytizing. Standard 50's fluff including obligatory musical interlude. TIL: Samuel was around 13 when God called him to be a prophet. Youth is no excuse to act in a monstrous manner.

Funny Book Philosophy: Richard Dragon, Kung Fu Fighter 001 (1975) Or, as Proverbs puts it, a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 25, 2021

Jakob’s Wife (2021) Bored preacher's spouse finds fulfillment in vampirism. It's The Bishop's Wife dipped in feminism and gallons of blood. TIL: Since the 80's, The Pastoral Provision has allowed married clergy from certain other traditions to convert and become Catholic priests.

Funny Book Philosophy: The Brave and the Bold 108 (1973) In which everybody's favorite bat-themed atheist begins to have a crisis of non-faith.

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 24, 2021

The Dead Pit (1989) Amnesiac in an asylum that supplies lingerie discovers the lobotomized zombies in her dreams may be real. Good? Nooooo. Enjoyable? You bet. TIL: Any treatment that exposes the subject's psychological integrity to disproportionate risk is morally illegitimate.

Sing A New Song: Gary Numan - Intruder (2021) Musically excellent, but full of atheist screeds that unintentionally (I think) paint non-believers as sad cowering little things. Lamentable Lyrics: I've seen the world of man worshipping the sun, and all I know is no-one ever comes.

Friday, August 20, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 20, 2021

Within the Rock (1996) Like a rough first draft of Armageddon with some Alien mixed in. Might have worked if they'd had more than ashtray change to work with. TIL: In June, asteroid 119248 was named in honor of Fr. Christopher Corbally, an astronomer at the Vatican Observatory.

Dad Rock Diary: The United States of America - The United States of America (1968) What if 60's era Zappa had embraced psychedelia instead of sneering at it? This may be the closest to an answer as we'll get. Laudable Lyrics: Agnus dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere eis.

Thursday, August 19, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 19, 2021

Hard Rock Nightmare (1988) Rockers travel to an isolated farm to make good music and avoid what might be a werewolf. They fail at both endeavors. TIL: The Catechism calls the musical tradition of the Church a treasure of inestimable value, greater even than that of any other art.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (1987) “All musical innovation is full of dangers to the whole city... one may not change the musical modes without changing, at the same time, the fundamental laws of State” - Plato

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 17, 2021

Rocktober Blood (1984) Murderous rock star is executed, which oddly doesn't hamper his killing spree. Heavy metal horror at its hokiest. TIL: While the death penalty was once allowable, the Church now completely opposes it as there are other means to effectively protect society.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Rocktober Blood (1984) "For every shrill and violent voice that throws itself in front of microphones and cameras in the name of God, there are countless lives of gentleness and good works who will not." - Krista Tippett

Monday, August 16, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 16, 2021

Heavy Metal Massacre (1989) Metalhead sadist tortures and kills big-haired babes. As dismal as a shot on video production can get. TIL: Most torture during the Inquisition was carried out by secular authorities, but the Church hierarchy was complicit. It must never happen again.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Heavy Metal Massacre (1989) "A chainsaw's God's way of evening out the playing field between you and everything, even the invisible stuff." - Jennifer L. Knox

Sunday, August 15, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 15, 2021

Black Roses (1988) Demonic rock band uses music to corrupt the youth of small town America. Did Tipper Gore write this script? TIL: St. Augustine believed music is given by God to mortals in order to lead them to higher things. Of course, mortals can sometimes misuse that gift.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Black Roses (1988) "If you hit a wrong note, then make it right by what you play afterward." - Joe Pass

Thursday, August 12, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 12, 2021

The Terror Within (1989) Bio-warfare survivors battle a mutant in their bunker. George Kennedy in a cheap alien clone? Sign me up. TIL: The Catechism is clear that any weapon, biological or otherwise, directed towards indiscriminate destruction is a crime against God and man.

Funny Book Philosophy: Mad Magazine 124 (1969)

Things To Come: Variety reports that Abel Ferrara, director of beloved exploitation flicks such as Ms. 45, Bad Lieutenant, and Driller Killer, is seeking funding for a film about... Padre Pio, with Shia LaBeouf as the young monk. The prospects are both exciting and horrifying.

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 11, 2021

Nightmare Shark (2018) Folks get gobbled up in their dreams. Alas, this SyFy effort can't quite live up to it's A Nightmare on Shark Street premise. TIL: The Church sees dreams as natural phenomena. For the rare one which does involve divine revelation, God follows up with proof.

Tuesday, August 10, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 10, 2021

Last Rites (1980) Bureaucratic bloodsuckers try to hide their feeding habits. Amateur, but nice regional effort. TIL: The purpose of the State is the protection/promotion of the common good. Politicians who feed off their constituency, literally or metaphorically, risk Hell.

Dad Rock Diary: The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced? (1967) Heard this debut called the granddaddy of all cock-rock (look it up) albums. I'm not going to argue. Laudable Lyrics: Who in your measly little world are you trying to prove that you're made out of gold?

Monday, August 09, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 9, 2021

Toxic Shark (2017) Shark projectile pukes acid on island vacationers. Only for those compelled to watch all bad-CGI shark movies. TIL: Pope St Pius said “all the evils of the world are due to lukewarm Catholics.” Maybe that's why Jesus said he'd vomit the lukewarm from his mouth.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Sorceress (1982) "Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one." - Terry Pratchett

Saturday, August 07, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 7, 2021

Roadkill (2011) Irish Travellers summon sketchy-CGI rocs to punish American tourists. Why would Irishmen summon mythical Arabian creatures? Only SyFy knows. TIL: Despite popular culture's tendency to paint all Irish as secret pagans, Travellers are almost exclusively Catholic.

Still Voices - The Fog (1980) "People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Friday, August 06, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 6, 2021

Tommy (1975) The Who's rock opera interpreted as an utterly insane screed against cults/false religions. Pure undiluted Ken Russell. TIL: Cults have unquestionable authoritarian leaders. The pope, who must govern within the restrictions of official teaching, doesn't qualify.

Dad Rock Diary: Grateful Dead - Grateful Dead (1967) Divorced from the live show/deadhead experience, this is, well... downright average folksy blues rock, isn't it? Laudable Lyrics: Watch what you're doin' with your time. All the endless ruins of the past must stay behind.

Monday, August 02, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 2, 2021

Mutilations (1987) High-schoolers encounter an alien who enjoys mutilating more than just cattle. Completely lovable no-budget regional sci-fi. TIL: St. Patrick is said to have used the Lord's Prayer to banish the demonic crop-destroying animal-killing Black Pig of Monaghan.

Dad Rock Diary: The Cramps - Songs The Lord Taught Us (1980) Hyper-energized psychobilly surfpunk for the monster kid in everyone. Laudable Lyrics: Now I just can't identify with this world so I don't try. Square pegs don't fit in round holes and I can't fit into these clothes.

Sunday, August 01, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: AUGUST 1, 2021

Heat (1986) Bodyguard for hire Burt Reynolds irritates Vegas gangsters while giving wimps lessons in macho. I'm telling you, that is 100% the plot. TIL: Guardian angels act as bodyguards of a sort but cannot violate anyone's free will, so bad things will still happen to you.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Creature from Black Lake (1976) "I do not think the forest would be so bright, nor the water so warm, nor love so sweet, if there were no danger in the lakes." - C.S. Lewis