Wednesday, September 29, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 29, 2021

The Blood Drinkers (1964) Filipino flick about vampires and heart transplants cuts corners by tinting B&W and the results are actually unique and surreal. TIL: When Jesus declared all foods clean in Mark, that included the blood of animals which had previously been forbidden.

I have not and will not see Dear Evan Hansen because, well, have you seen the trailer? However, if you need any more reason than that to add the flick to the skip list, here's as damning of a review as you can get from the Catholic Cinephile. Yikes.

Saturday, September 25, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 25, 2021

Dune Warriors (1991) David Carradine does The Magnificent Seven thing in the post apocalypse. Better make that the Not So Magnificent Five. Budget constraints, you know. TIL: In Biblical numerology, five actually symbolizes God's grace, goodness, and favor toward humans.

Dad Rock Diary: Blondie - Parallel Lines (1978) Half these songs have been played to death on the radio over the past 40 years and... they still sound absolutely great. As for the other half, well, they're pretty darn good too. Laudable Lyrics: Don't go be bad cause you been had.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTMBER 23, 2021

Murder A La Mod (1968) De Palma's first flick is (naturally) a highly stylized murder mystery. It's also a nigh incomprehensible mess that reeks of film school. So, fun. TIL: The commandment to not murder also includes prohibitions against slander, scandal, and excessive anger.

Still Voices - Matinee (1993) "Not to engage in this pursuit of ideas is to live like ants instead of like men." - Mortimer Adler

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 22, 2021

Frozen Scream (1975) A Bill Haley ripoff named Jack Around The Shack and dialog that sounds like they just learned to read highlight this tale of zombies in refrigerators. TIL: While at least 85% of his contemporaries were illiterate, one verse in Luke suggests Jesus could read.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Nightmare (1981) “Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Monday, September 20, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 20, 2021

Night Hunter (1996) Don "The Dragon" Wilson kills vamps using the traditional method of... snapping their necks? Or maybe its the overly-literal use of shaky-cam that does it. TIL: In western mythos the most effective weapon against vampires is actually the consecrated Eucharist.

Tinseltown Testaments: Pulp Fiction (1994) "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness."

Sunday, September 19, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 19, 2021

Blood (1973) The Wolfman's son has problems with finances and his arranged marriage to Dracula's daughter. Typical talky Andy Milligan weirdness. TIL: For the Church to see a marriage as valid, it must be entered into with full knowledge, freedom, and consent from both parties.

Dad Rock Diary: Soft Machine - Third (1970) Only one song with lyrics as the band's jazz-fusion transmutation nears completion. Actually great if rockers dabbling in jazz doodles does it for you. Laudable Lyrics: So before this feeling dies, remember how distance tells us lies.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 15, 2021

Carnival of Blood (1972) A lady killer stalks Coney Island. Could it be hunchbacked disfigured Burt Young? Not great, but a fantastic time capsule. TIL: Coney Island, County Clare, Ireland is the location of one of the original monasteries founded by St. Brendan in the year 550.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming! (1966) "We look forward to when the power to love will replace the love for power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace." - Dr. William Ellery Channing

Monday, September 13, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 13, 2021

Darklight (2004) Adam's first wife Lilith must become a Milla Jovovich character to save Earth from demons. Feels like a failed TV pilot. TIL: The only biblical mention of Lilith is in some translations of Isaiah where the name means night-monster and has nothing to do with Adam.

Still Voices - Willard (1971) "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." - Lily Tomlin

Sunday, September 12, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 12, 2021

Hey Good Lookin’ (1982) Ralph Bakshi turns his tasteless toons loose on the fabulous 50's. It's Bakshi, so American Graffiti/Happy Days this ain't. TIL: Some theologians argue that a nostalgia which prevents us from living fully in the present is a form of the sin of sloth.

Funny Book Philosophy: The Phantom Stranger 030 (1974)

Saturday, September 11, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 11, 2021

Forbidden World (1982) In space, no one can hear you scream. Thanks to Roger Corman, though, they can see you butt-naked a whole heck of a lot. TIL: Some believe Adam and Eve's shame over their nakedness was a metaphor for feeling exposed to God because of their disobedience.

Dead Space (1991) Corman's company recycles its own scripts with this less wackadoodle take on 1982's Forbidden World. Both the budget and returns are diminished. TIL: The four gospels repeat the same story, but with different demographics, cultures, and educations in mind.

Friday, September 10, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 10, 2021

Blood Link (1982) A tale of separated Siamese twins, one of whom is a murderer. Good for a fix of Michael Moriarty's patented weirdness. TIL: Some speculate the apostles Thomas and Matthew were twins. There's no proof though other than Thomas' name means twin in Greek and Hebrew.

Dad Rock Diary: David Bowie - Let's Dance (1983) Some good singles and Nile Rodgers production is flawless as usual, but disco Bowie will never be my go-to. Laudable Lyrics: (God and man) no confession (God and man) no religion (God and man) I don't believe in modern love.

NOTE: Yes, I know there's a way to interpret the lyrics as anti-religion, but they've always made more sense to me as a rebuke to modernism's rejection of tradition.

Wednesday, September 08, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 8, 2021

Destination Inner Space (1966) Underwater lab is attacked by diseased alien. Like a slightly less goofy episode of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. TIL: The first marine biology lab was built by Belgian zoologist Pierre-Joseph van Beneden of the Catholic University at Louvain.

Tinseltown Testaments: Videodrome (1983) "It has something that you don't have, Max. It has a philosophy. And that is what makes it dangerous.”

Tuesday, September 07, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 7, 2021

The McPherson Tape (1989) Family birthday party has uninvited guests. First ever found footage film is slow, but gets by on naturalism and mounting creepiness. TIL: The first recorded mention of a birthday party is in the book of Genesis for the Egyptian pharaoh Joseph served.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: The Fear Chamber (1968) "Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears." - Rudyard Kipling

Monday, September 06, 2021

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU: CRUSHING THE SERPENT’S HEAD AT THE DRIVE-IN

In what will surely come as to no surprise to anyone, we at the B-Movie Catechism are big fans of drive-in theaters. That’s why it was with great interest when the following email arrived from one of our regular ticket buyers, Brett Fawcett, who has graciously given us permission to reprint it here.

“I just stumbled across a random piece of information that I need to share with somebody but I can't imagine who would possibly care about this other than you, so here it is--apologies if you already know this.

You're surely aware of the Cinema Snob; it's been a long time since I've watched any of his videos, but a weird nostalgia kick made me pull a couple of his old reviews up. His reviews of The Geek and Bat Pussy, both of which were released by Something Weird video, feature an excerpt of an introductory disclaimer video from the 70s featuring Donn Davison at his office desk warning the viewer that they are about to watch an adult film, but, if they're into that, they can see the very best explicit entertainment "every week at the Dragon Art Theater." That introductory clip can be seen here.

I wondered what the deal was with this place, so I looked it up; apparently it was a drive-in theater in Florida that often got in trouble with local law enforcement (predictably)--I guess a sheriff's underage son got in at one point--and finally Davison found it was more trouble than it was worth and sold it--to, of all people, Father Roland Julien of St. Madeleine's Roman Catholic Church, who immediately retooled it to show family-friendly entertainment. The news article announcing this at the time is here.

It was later demolished and the new St. Madeleine Church was built there, as was the Santa Fe Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche. This scholar of celluloid trash actually made a pilgrimage to the spot, appropriately calling it "the Shrine of Our Lady of the Dragon Arts".

This bizarre but somewhat heartwarming anecdote is so interesting to me, but you are absolutely the only other person in the world I can imagine possibly caring about the intersection of cinematic sleaze and ecclesial sanctity in this way, so I'm dumping this knowledge on you. I am put in mind of Chesterton's adage: "Pornography… is not a thing to be argued about with one’s intellect, but to be stamped on with one’s heel."

I hope all is well with you. Please keep my wife and I in your prayers. (We have been in China for 2 years now, unable to leave because of border and work restrictions.)

Pax Christi”

While we mourn the passing of yet another drive-in, we can’t think of a better use for the space than as a place of worship and devotion. Thanks for the great story, Brett, and you can be sure the prayers are on their way.

Sunday, September 05, 2021

DAILY CALL SHEET: SEPTEMBER 5, 2021

The Burning (1981) Crispy killer Cropsey punishes all campers for the sins of the few who pranked him. Standout slasher gives you prime Tom Savini AND a barely formed George Costanza. TIL: As one polluter poisons the air for all, so do the sins of some harm even the innocent.

Still Voices - Crimes of Passion (1984) "The book to read is not the one which thinks for you, but the one which makes you think. No book in the world equals the Bible for that." - Harper Lee