DAILY CALL SHEET: DECEMBER 16, 2023

Bigfoot: Man or Beast? (1972) Wait a minute! That Bigfoot hair sample is really a what!?! Eww. Anyway, other than the dubious answer to that pressing question, this pseudo-documentary offers little beyond the nostalgia of early 70's crypto-comfort food for those who tuned in to watch Leonard Nimoy host In Search Of every week.

TIL: If it were discovered that Bigfoot (Bigfeet?) had rational minds capable of intellect and free will, would they then, like man, be in need of redemption? Most of those who think about such things say only if they were some offshoot of Neanderthal/early humans and therefore in the same 'family' as man. Otherwise, like the aliens in C.S. Lewis' writings, it would depend on whether or not Bigfoot had their own version of "The Fall" similar to mankind's.

Funny Book Philosophy: Crypt of Shadows (2023)

PONDERING NIGHTCRAWLER'S PARENTAGE

As some of my fellow comics fans out there know, Marvel recently ended our long national nightmare and finally allowed Chris Claremont's fetish fueled fantasy of having two lesbians sire a child to come to fruition. Yes, Kurt Wagner's true parents have been revealed to be Mystique and Destiny all along. This has, of course, been celebrated in the usual places, but I don't think they have thought it through. You see, this plot point actually confirms that the only way two biological women could ever naturally conceive together is for one of them to possess the fantastical not-of-this-reality ability to alter her body down to the genetic level. Just changing the outward appearance wouldn't cut it. So, kudos to Marvel for supporting the science, though in all likelihood not on purpose.

However, it's not all good. Since they have now elevated Mystique's shape-shifting abilities to this near-omnipotent level, how long will it be before some writer (probably Mark Millar if we're being honest) realizes its horrible potential? How long before someone (again, probably Millar) gives us a storyline in which Mystique, following a blackout drunk hookup with Dogpool, gives birth to a litter of blue puppies? (They'd have to be blue right? If Nightcrawler proves anything, it's that the blue gene is dominant.) Don't get me wrong, blue puppies would be unbearably cute, but the whole idea is gross. So, shame on you Marvel for opening up the possibility of that particular story which nobody wants. Well, except for maybe Claremont, who knows.

DAILY CALL SHEET: DECEMBER 2, 2023

Cybernator (1991) A bunch of guys made up like Dollar Tree knockoffs of Borg action figures begin assassinating those in power. Suspiciously, the only humans who seem at all concerned are a detective who watched too many Lethal Weapon movies and his rhythmically challenged stripper girlfriend. Yep, it's another one of those old space fillers for Blockbuster Video shelves which for posterity's sake now inhabit the lowest depths of Tubi. Approach accordingly.

TIL: It's unknown the exact number of Popes who have been assassinated, however, the first is believed to have been Pope John VIII, who in 882 was poisoned by his own clerics. Unfortunately, the poison wasn't quick enough for the conspirators, so they finished the job with a hammer. Apparently, power struggles were handled a bit differently back then.

Freeze Frames #014: "Abstract art is not the creation of another reality but the true vision of reality." - Piet Mondrian

This is a picture I took of the surface of a pond with its fair share of algae. No special filters. Not a Pink Floyd album cover. You know, the original abstract artists were so sure they had created something new that surpassed reality, while the gatekeepers of traditional art were convinced abstraction was an insult to the beauty of nature. As usual, THE Creator was millennia ahead of both sides.