VOYAGE TO THE PLANET OF PREHISTORIC WOMEN

Back in 1962, the Russians made a pretty nifty film called Planeta Bur about a group of astronauts and their robot who run into a brontosaur while exploring the surface of Venus, and then have to escape as the planet's weather goes nuts. Thanks to the heroic sacrifice of the robot, who gets left behind, most of the astronauts make it back home. It's enjoyable and brisk, running a mere 72 minutes. However, when the rights for the U.S. distribution of the film were acquired by American International Pictures, they decided Roger Corman could somehow make two movies out of the footage. Which, of course, he could.

The first film, Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet, was a fairly faithful dubbed version of the original, with a few new scenes featuring Basil Rathbone thrown in for good measure. Think Raymond Burr in Godzilla. It was marketed directly to TV stations and became a Saturday afternoon staple. The second movie, Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women, is a different beast altogether. According to screenwriter/director Peter Bogdanovich (who wisely asked not to be credited), Corman came to him saying AIP might give the film a limited theatrical run, but only if they found a way to stick some chicks in it. Well, in Hollywood, a job's a job, so Bogdanovich called in Mamie Van Doren and a gaggle of blondes, dressed them in sea shells, and rewrote the story so their presence would almost make sense. Almost.

What you get with Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women is the story of a group of astronauts and their robot who run into a pterodactyl while exploring the surface of Venus and immediately kill it. Unfortunately, it turns out the flying reptile was the object of worship by a matriarchal society of telepathic Venusian women who like to hang out at the beach. Using the awesome power of being female, the ladies call upon their planet to punish the invaders with floods and volcanoes. The male invaders are chased off, but the robot they inadvertently leave behind inexplicably becomes the women's new god. It might all be okay if the men and women weren't so obviously in two separate movies and voiceover narration wasn't required to make it all halfway understandable. As it is, the movie's enjoyably silly, but it's undeniably a hunk of junk.

It's funny how so many of these types of movies have male astronauts running across matriarchies. There's Cat-Women of the Moon, Queen of Outer Space, Abbott and Costello Go to Mars, and so on. I guess it's because you have to go to space to find such arrangements, as earthly matriarchal societies—defined as those where women hold dominant political, economic, and social power over men in a mirror image of patriarchy—are widely considered by most anthropologists to be mythical or unattested to in historical records. Sure, there have been matrilineal societies (descent and inheritance through the female line) and egalitarian systems with strong female influence (the Iroquois or Mosuo come to mind), but real matriarchies have been difficult to identify outside of feminist revisionary texts.

There have been a few reasons speculated for this. Some suggest that men's evolutionary physical advantages gave patriarchal systems an edge when it came to territorial expansion, especially through warfare. Others think that as economies shifted from domestic horticultural setups to movable wealth (e.g., cattle, tools, trade), they played more into the strengths of male hunter-gatherers than they did female nurturers. And, of course, some point to the boogeyman of religion, especially those pesky Abrahamic faiths (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) which are accused of emphasizing patrilineal descent and male authority. Some, in a fit of wishful thinking, even like to imagine that these patriarchal religions crashed the ancient matriarchal party, killing off the female deities and leaving a male-created God in their place like some robot abandoned on Venus.

Fantasies aside, whether or not monotheism encourages patriarchy is arguable. However, at least when it comes to Catholicism, the male-female dynamic is a bit more nuanced than just saying men are in charge. As St. Pope John Paul II notes in his apostolic letter Mulieris Dignitatem, the Church affirms that while the sexes have distinctly ordered, though complimentary, roles, women still have an essential equality with men in personhood, grace, and mission. This complementarianism results in a unity of the masculine and feminine that enriches each other in mutual self-giving, elevating both sexes rather than one oppressing the other. So, the Church's view is definitely not matriarchal, but neither is it egalitarian, as the role of the sexes is not identical, nor is it patriarchal in the oppressive sense, as men are called to recognize and serve the dignity of women. Because of this, JPII explicitly states that any type of patriarchal domination, even those times it may have occurred in a Church setting, is a post-Fall distortion of what God actually intends for men and women.

Not that AIP, Corman, or Bogdanovich were thinking about any of this when they churned out Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women. They just wanted a movie with some chicks in it. By that measure, they succeeded.

(By the way, if you'd like another take on this old clunker and what it has to do with Augustine and paganism, check out the guest review from reader Xena Catolica from a while back.)

DAILY CALL SHEET: OCTOBER 17, 2025

Alice in Wonderland (1903) While drowsing in her garden, Alice spots a giant white rabbit and follows him down a hole. There, with the aid of a magic fan, she is able to pass through a small door to Wonderland. Once inside, she tries to befriend a dog, meets a baby that turns into a pig, and attends the Mad Hatter's tea party. Eventually, Alice ticks off the Queen and has to escape being executed. It's amazing all the things you can get done in a few minutes when you put your mind to it. This first ever film adaptation of Lewis Carroll's beloved book is heavily abridged, originally running 12 minutes, but now just 9 in the only existing, heavily damaged copy available for viewing. Though all the scratches and artifacting give the film a bit of a David Lynch feel, overall, it's a little pedestrian by modern standards. Even so, it's enough to get the point across until you can watch longer, weirder versions.

TIL: Those of a certain age might remember Reader's Digest Condensed Books, a surprisingly popular series of hardcover anthologies published from 1950 to 1997. Each edition typically featured 2–5 abridged (or "condensed") versions of bestselling novels, allowing readers to whiz through a book without committing to the full-length work. Don't want to wade through the entirety of War and Remembrance or East of Eden but still want to get the basics of the story? Not to worry, Reader's Digest has you covered. It's most daring abridgement was probably in 1982 when the company released the Reader's Digest Condensed Version of the Bible, which reduces the size of the Old Testament by about 50% and the New Testament by 25%. This makes for brisker reading but, obviously, is utter crap if you want to make sure you get all the nuances of the book's complex theology. Still, if it gets you started on the journey, go for it.

Unknown Island (1948) A fortune-seeker talks his rich fiancée into chartering a trip to an island where dinosaurs supposedly still thrive. Along for the journey are a lecherous drunken captain, a semi-drunken first mate, a heroic seaman who starts off the movie in a drunken stupor, and a ship full of racially ambiguous stereotypes who probably had to get drunk to play these parts. Once on the island, things go awry as the motley crew cross paths with a bunch of dinosaurs that look like low-budget prototypes for those inflatable T-Rex costumes, and a guy in a gorilla suit that we're meant to believe is a giant sloth. More or less taking the island part of King Kong and making it the whole movie, this no-budget quickie is easy viewing for those who find old films with shoddy effects charming. 

TIL: Back in the 6th century, St. Brendan the Navigator undertook a seven-year voyage that legends say took him to a number of unknown islands. There was an isle of crystal pillars (icebergs, maybe), a "paradise of birds" inhabited by singing avian saints, and a moving island that turned out to be a whale's back. The most astonishing was a gem-covered island inhabited by ageless saints with whom he spent 40 days praying and feasting. After Brendan's departure, the island vanished into a mysterious fog. As late as the 16th century, sailors in the area still reported seeing this island appear and disappear. However, whether the tales are entirely factual or not, the unknown islands encountered by St. Brendan have come to symbolize the spiritual trials and divine wonders to be experienced on the Christian journey.

DAILY CALL SHEET: OCTOBER 11, 2025

 

Silver Bullet (1985) Every full moon, a series of brutal murders rocks a small town in rural Maine, and neither the sheriff nor the local vigilantes seem to be able to do anything to put a stop to what they assume is just some maniac. Only a young paraplegic and his older sister seem to have an inkling of what the killer really is, and once they figure out the identity of the cursed culprit, they call on their alcoholic uncle Gary Busey to help defeat the beast. Deep inside, you know it’s not technically a good movie, but it’s got Corey Haim in a tricked-out wheelchair, Canada's favorite Anne of Green Gables, and Gary Busey playing Gary Busey, all battling a werewolf who's not above using a baseball bat to break some skulls. How can you not enjoy it?

TIL: One questions the wisdom of parents who leave their children in the care of alcoholic uncle Gary Busey, but any port in a storm, I guess. Actually, the Catechism notes that the Fourth Commandment ("Honor your father and mother") extends beyond the parents to the entire "household of faith." Relatives are supposed to share in the family's mission to build up one another spiritually and practically, complementing parents without supplanting them. As St. John Paul II wrote in Familiaris Consortio, "All members of the family, each according to his or her own gift, have the grace and responsibility of building, day by day, the communion of persons, making the family a school of deeper humanity."

Now Showing at a Blog Near You: This week for Aleteia I take a look at a tale of baseball and miracles. My review of Soul on Fire.

DAILY CALL SHEET: OCTOBER 4, 2025

The Amazing Colossal Man. (1957 ) Lt. Colonel Glenn Manning saves a pilot who has crash landed in a bomb testing site, but gets a heaping dose of radiation for his efforts. The good news is that Glenn's burns begin to miraculously heal. The bad news is that's because he's slowly expanding to giant size. The really bad news is that his heart isn't growing at the same rate and will eventually explode from the stress. The worst news is that his mind can't handle what's happening, causing Glenn to go on a psychotic rampage in Las Vegas, which wouldn't be that odd of an occurrence in Sin City except for the fact that Glenn is 50-feet tall at the time. There's lot to enjoy in this Bert I. Gordon flick, not the least of which is that the title character, with his bald head and giant diaper, comes across as nothing less than a Kong-sized baby throwing a temper tantrum.

TIL: Speaking of growing, John Collins writes in Our Sunday Visitor, "In our contemporary culture 'spiritual growth' is a term that has become not only ambiguous but annoyingly vague. Used in various ways by people of different faiths (and sometimes by people of no faith), this is a term that conjures up a multitude of images: Eastern meditation, vision quests in California, a variety of New Age explorations and all the rest. … Ultimately, as Catholics, we must realize that if we wish to grow spiritually, we cannot follow the paths or the ideas of others religions. … For the Catholic, spiritual growth can be nothing but a continual turning to Christ. In this we come to understand an astonishing truth, that spiritual growth is really a growth in relationship, a constant deepening of our relationship with Christ."

Good Boy (2025) Against the advice of just about everyone he knows, an ill young man named Todd moves into his grandfather's abandoned home in the middle of nowhere. Todd dismisses warnings that the place is haunted, but his faithful retriever Indy isn't so sure, especially once an ominous dark shape only the dog can see starts to emerge from the house's dark corners. Can Indy be a good enough boy to save his beloved master from whatever's coming for them, or is it already too late? Unfortunately, the movie lets slip what's really going on about half way through the film, but the visual approach of telling the story entirely from the dog's perspective is so well done (and ultimately emotional) that you'll want to stick with it to the end.

TIL: One of the consequences of the ancient Jewish purity laws is that dogs aren't portrayed all that well in the Bible. Most of the verses in which they appear paint puppies as generally filthy scavengers fit only to serve as metaphors for moral or spiritual uncleanness. An interesting exception is the book of Tobit, in which a random pooch shows up to travel with Tobias and the angel Raphael. The dog's presence is never explained, leaving theologians to speculate he's there as a symbol of unwavering companionship and steadfastness in the face of adversity, mirroring the loyalty of Tobias and Raphael to God despite their trials. Whatever the reason, Tobias' adopted doggie is the rare good boy in the Bible and deserves a nice scratch behind the ears.

DAILY CALL SHEET: OCTOBER 2, 2025

Gas-s-s-s, or if you prefer the onscreen title, Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It (1970) After a hastily scribbled military unleashes a lab-created gas that kills everyone on the planet over the age of 25, hippies, bikers, and football players inherit the Earth. Looking for something more groovy than post-apocalyptic Dallas, flower children Coel and Cilla hit the road for a series of perplexing psychedelic adventures. As the pair cross America, they meet a motorcycle-riding Edgar Allan Poe, giant papier-mâché heads of JFK and MLK, and God, but even the Almighty isn't able to help the film make any sense at all.

TIL: No, the hippie peace symbol is not a broken inverted cross as some have suggested. It's actually the letters N and D superimposed on each other and was created in 1958 by British artist and designer Gerald Holtom as a symbol for the nuclear disarmament movement. As a symbol, the cross obviously has its own meanings. It started showing up prominently in Christian art around the 3rd Century as the religion began to move out of the shadows. At that time, it was seen as a sign of victory over death and evil, a meaning it still carries to this day. However, by the medieval period, its superimposed lines became to be seen as a representation of the intersection of divinity (the vertical line) and the world (horizontal line).

Invasion U.S.A. (1985) A force of Latin American guerrillas led by Soviet agent Richard Lynch start making noise along the Florida coast. Unable to handle the situation themselves, the government asks retired CIA operative Chuck Norris to look into the matter, but he's not interested, at least not until the bad guys kill his best friend. He's barely had time to get involved, though, before hundreds of guerrillas descend on the suburbs of Miami where they wreck a subdivision and shopping mall. This really upsets Chuck, which, as we all know, doesn't bode well for the guerillas. Objectively bad by any critical standard, but that's irrelevant as this flick, more than any other, is the likely birthplace of all those Chuck Norris memes.

TIL: When it comes to evaluating any form of warfare, including guerrilla tactics, the Church's framework, as always, rests on Just War principles. Guerrilla warfare often risks violating the principles of proportionality (the harm caused must not outweigh the good achieved) and discrimination (combatants must distinguish between military targets and civilians, avoiding indiscriminate violence). Guerrilla campaigns that employ such methods, especially of the type seen in Invasion U.S.A. where there is the intentional targeting of civilians in populated areas, are deemed immoral. Resistance movements such as those employed against the Nazis in WWII, however, might be defensible as long as they meet Just War criteria.