Saturday, February 24, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: FEBRUARY 2, 2018

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror (1990) Winona Ryder wannabe uses cursed mirror to go all Carrie on her haters. Karen Black and Yvonne De Carlo help class things up a bit. TIL: Holding onto feelings of hurt ultimately just ends up causing more hurt, for yourself and others.

Crash

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Crash (1977) - “The most beautiful and stirring adventure that can happen to you is the personal meeting with Jesus." - St. John Paul II

DAILY CALL SHEET: FEBRUARY 1, 2018

Joysticks

Joysticks (1983) Fairly standard 80s teen sex comedy. Might appeal to Joe Don Baker fans and those nostalgic for playing 8-bit games in dank, sweat-smelling video arcades. TIL: Gaming isn't really sinful unless you forsake required duties for it. Strip gaming on the other hand...

Cinderella 2000

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Cinderella 2000 (1977) - “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love," - Saint Teresa of Calcutta

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 31, 2018

Red Christmas

Red Christmas (2016) Not the first, but among the worst movies to feature the deformed survivor of a botched abortion seeking revenge. Which side of the debate was this even supposed to appeal to? TIL: Pro-life covers all ages, all people, not just the ones we think deserve it.

Baron Blood

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Baron Blood (1972) - "The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound, your whole body will be filled with light; but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be in darkness." - Matt 6:22.23a

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 30, 2018

Rat Race

Rat Race (2001) Umpteenth riff on It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Mad World without the star power and a 50/50 joke success ratio at best. That Jon Lovitz car window scene was pretty funny, though. TIL: The love of money is the root of all mediocre comedies, or something like that.

When Worlds Collide

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of When Worlds Collide (1951) - "I know well that the greater and more beautiful the work is, the more terrible will be the storms that rage against it." -St. Faustina

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 29, 2018

Frankenstein Meets The Space Monster

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965) Mars needs women, again, this time preferably in bikinis. Fortunately, a disfigured android astronaut is around to thwart them. TIL: Who taught Martians women exist just for sex? Guess their sexual revolution was a complete failure too.

Chillers

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Chillers (1987) - "Hell is God's great compliment to the reality of human freedom and the dignity of human choice." - G. K. Chesterton

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 28, 2018

Ssssss
Sssssss (1973) Ecovangelist ophiologist dampens daughter's love life by turning her suitors into pollution resistant snake-men. Did he even try recycling first? TIL: Benedict XVI said if you want to cultivate peace, protect creation. Pretty sure this isn't what he had in mind.
Silver Bullet
Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Silver Bullet (1985) - "Consider seriously how quickly people change, and how little trust is to be had in them; and hold fast to God, Who does not change." - St. Teresa of Avila
Now Showing Marquee 5
Does found footage test the bounds of reality or just your patience? This week for SCENES, we watch Unlisted Owner and The Faith Community.

Friday, February 23, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 27, 2018

Attack of the Puppet People

Attack of the Puppet People (1958) Lonely codger shrinks people and keeps them prisoner as puppets. They don’t really attack so much as get drunk and grumble. TIL: If this is what the elderly get up to when feeling abandoned, no wonder the USSCB recommends keeping them company.

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) - "You have not failed. You have gained experience." - St. Josemaria Escriva

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 26, 2018

Killer Tongue

Killer Tongue (1996) Meteorite metamorphs woman into snake tongued monster, pastel poodles into drag queens, and a nun into a majorette. After that, it gets really weird. TIL: "Whoever would love life and see good days  must keep the tongue from evil ."-1 Peter 3:10. Nuff said.

Zombie Lake

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Zombie Lake (1981) - “A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go against it.” - G. K. Chesterton

Now Showing Sign

My quick overview of all the movies you (or anyone else) probably didn't go see this year. This week, I'm sizing up Oscar's best-picture nominees for Aleteia.

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 25, 2018

Howling V The Rebirth

Howling V: The Rebirth (1989) It’s Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None with 100% more werewolf. In theory, anyway, as they hardly show the thing. TIL: You might think Christie’s take on the mark of Cain and inevitable justice would be even better with lycanthrophy. Nope.

Atom Age Vampire

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Atom Age Vampire (1960) - "To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable." - G. K. Chesterton

Thursday, February 22, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 24, 2018

Baxter

Baxter (1989) Sociopathic bull terrier with an internal monologue moves from home to home until finally finding a master even worse than he is. Not for pet lovers. Or human lovers for that matter. TIL: Is this why the lower animals weren't given rational souls? Smart move, God.

A Bullet For The General

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A Bullet for the General (1967) - “Laugh and grow strong.” - St. Ignatius

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 23, 2018

Skeeter

Skeeter (1993) Probably the worst entry in the mercifully short-lived giant Mosquito genre. Only for those who absolutely have to see every Buck Flower appearance ever. TIL: Leviticus advises to avoid eating certain insects. Shouldn't there be a quid pro quo in there somewhere?

Blood Sisters

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Blood Sisters (1987) - "It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light." - Aristotle

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 22, 2018

Warriors of the Apocalypse

Warriors of the Apocalypse (1985) 5% Mad Max, 5% H. Rider Haggard’s She, 90% utter vapidity. Despite the laser eyes and Village People fashions, even the supreme fertility gods can't save this one. TIL: Liturgical dancing isn't going to get any less silly looking in the future.

Amazing Dobermans, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Amazing Dobermans (1976) - "Let dogs delight to bark and bite, for God hath made them so." - Isaac Watts

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 21, 2018

100 Monsters

100 Monsters (1968) Pretty standard samurai flick for the first hour, then unleashes a tsunami of Japanese folklore worthy of Studio Ghibli. Nowhere near 100 monsters, but plenty enough to make things fun. TIL: Browsing a few comparative religion books is never a bad idea.

Astro Zombies

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Astro-Zombies (1968) - "Living together as a couple is an art, a patient, beautiful and fascinating journey... which can be summarized in three words: please, thank you and sorry.” - Pope Francis

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 20, 2018

Monster Dog

Monster Dog (1984) Overdubbed Alice Cooper returns home to tussle with one of the worst looking werewolf puppets ever put to film. Inexplicably, he never sings Bark at the Moon. TIL: So, consequences of the sins of the father includes fleas and mange? Who knew?

Mirror Mirror

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Mirror Mirror (1990) - “If you do not worship God, you worship something, and nine times out of ten it will be yourself.” - Fulton J. Sheen

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 19, 2018

Boogens, The

The Boogens (1981) Killer subterranean turtles terrorize a small mining town. Enjoyable creature feature somewhat marred by last reel reveal of stupid looking monsters. TIL: Luke 8:17 says there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed. If only that were not true in this case.

Alien Factor, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Alien Factor (1978) - "Fearful afflictions await the hard of heart, for without great sufferings they cannot become pliable and responsive." - St. Thalassios the Libyan

Now Showing Marquee 2

Forget the politics for a coupLe of hours and just enjoy an old fashioned war movie. My review of 12 Strong for Aleteia.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 18, 2018

20 Million Miles to Earth

20 Million Miles to Earth (1957) Poor dumb beast from Venus gets loose, gets large, and gets lots of grief from the military and a pitchfork wielding farmer. TIL: Francis, patron saint of animals, would definitely have handled this situation better.

Man With Two Heads, The

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of The Man With Two Heads (1972) - "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you of two minds." - James 4:8

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 17, 2018

Killing, The

The Killing (1956) Before Kubrick was KUBRICK. Flawless use of flashbacks to tell the story of a heist gone wrong from different perspectives. TIL: With four narrators telling one tale from varying points of view, the Gospels did it way before Kurosawa, Kubrick, or Tarantino.

Blood of the Vampire

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Blood of the Vampire (1958) - “It isn’t good to let our thoughts disturb us or worry us at all.” - St. Teresa of Avila

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 16, 2018

Greasy Strangler, The

The Greasy Strangler (2016) Grotesque father/son duo competes for the ladies. One of them is literally a greasy strangler. Shocking, or just trying too hard to be? TIL: Eph. 6:4 says fathers, do not provoke your children to anger... lest you end up like the people in this movie.

Chariots of the Gods

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Chariots of the Gods? (1970) - “Our intellects do not make the truth; they attain it: they discover it." - Fulton J. Sheen

Monday, February 19, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 15, 2018

Ah, it’s the rare day when my Twitter and Instagram accounts align. Enjoy a double helping of A*P*E!

APE

A*P*E (1976) Crazy Korean mish-mash of popular American 70s movies. Highlight: a Kong sized gorilla and a giant shark fight to the death. And this was years before the SyFy Channel. TIL: Inculturation can be a good thing, but admittedly has the occasional bad side effect.

Ape

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of A*P*E (1976) - "It is not a fish until it is on the bank." - Anonymous Proverb

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 14, 2018

No Retreat, No Surrender

No Retreat, No Surrender (1986) Teen summons the ghost of Bruce Lee, has an 80s training montage, and fights a hammy Jean-Claude Van Damme. Stunningly nonsensical Karate Kid rip off. TIL: One of the reasons the Bible advises not to consult spirits; it turns you into a total dork.

Invasion of the Saucer Men

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Invasion of the Saucer Men (1957) - "Carnal lust rules where there is no love of God." - Saint Augustine

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 13, 2018

Devil's Candy

The Devil's Candy (2015) Hapless headbanger tries to save daughter from the nightmares he paints. The creep factor goes to 11. TIL: As JPII said, “Even when they explore... the most unsettling aspects of evil, artists give voice in a way to the universal desire for redemption.”

2020 Texas Gladiators

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of 2020 Texas Gladiators (1983) - "Faith means battles; if there are no contests, it is because there are none who desire to contend." – St. Ambrose

Sunday, February 18, 2018

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 12, 2018

Company of Wolves

The Company of Wolves (1984) Little Red Riding Hood meets The Howling via way of the local art house cinema. Werewolves as an allegory for puberty? Director Neil Jordan makes it work. TIL: Putting away childish things should mean becoming an adult, not a b*tch in heat.

Invisible Dead

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Dr. Orloff's Invisible Monster (1971) - "Understanding is the sure and clear knowledge of some invisible thing." – St. Bernard

Now Showing Marquee 6

The excruciating uncomfortableness of forgiveness. My review of Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri for Aleteia.

And remember, everybody, remember it's #KissAGingerDay

DAILY CALL SHEET: JANUARY 11, 2018

Attack of the Crab Monsters

Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957) Psychic decapods eat brains long before zombies made it a thing. Surprisingly effective despite the papier-mâché beasties. TIL: "I can grow a new claw, can you grow a new life?" Sounds like the official crustacean translation of Heb. 9:27.

Carry On Screaming

Your daily dose of culture courtesy of Carry On Screaming (1966) - “When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her... The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.” - Fulton J. Sheen