WEEKLY NEWSREEL – 3 1/2 TIME-OUTS TUESDAY (VOL. 18)

Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Catholic, and all you other Christians at sea. It’s time for another Weekly Newsreel brought to you again this week by the fine folks at Acts of the Apostasy, home of the 3 1/2 Time-Outs Tuesday. Now off to press.

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The Catechism tells us that "every act of war directed to the indiscriminate destruction of whole cities or vast areas with their inhabitants is a crime against God and man, which merits firm and unequivocal condemnation." A danger of modern warfare is that it provides the opportunity to those who possess modern scientific weapons especially atomic, biological, or chemical weapons - to commit such crimes.” Given that, we’re not quite sure what to make of the article published in the December 1946 issue of Atlantic Monthly (via Weird Universe) which chronicled how scientists working for the United States government in World War II tried to devise a bomb which would deliver swarms of bats with incendiary capsules attached to them. The idea was that the bats would find attics, lofts, and other hard to reach places to roost in, and then burst into flame, causing fires which would burn down countless numbers of Japanese paper houses. The Americans eventually abandoned the idea because they didn’t want to be seen as engaging in biological warfare (bats carry a number of nasty diseases) and we here are kind of glad they did so. While not being canon lawyers, we can’t help but see the dumping of hordes of flaming bats onto a civilian population as somehow being “indiscriminate”.

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Fortunately, most scientists these days are working on studies and surveys rather than engineering animals for mass destruction (although, to be honest, the latter kind of scientist still makes for more entertaining Roger Corman movies). For example, back in November 2011, results were published from a study by the University of British Columbia that suggested that "where there are religious majorities -- that is, in most of the world -- atheists are among the least trusted people…” Unable to pinpoint exactly why religious people mistrust atheists, the lead author of the study group, Will Gervais, speculated that “while atheists may see their disbelief as a private matter on a metaphysical issue, believers may consider atheists' absence of belief as a public threat to cooperation and honesty.” Well, maybe. But perhaps the answer is more simple than that. Just a few days ago, an estimated 20,000 atheists and agnostics gathered in Washington D.C. for the first ever Reason Rally, at which time the keynote speaker Richard Dawkins called to those in the crowd to confront those who hold beliefs such as the true presence in the Eucharist and “Mock them! Ridicule them! In public!” How rational and enlightened. But maybe it goes to show that the answer Mr. Gervais’ question about why religious people don’t trust atheists might simply be because too many modern atheists turn out to be complete anti-social buttheads.

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And finally, speaking of disgruntled atheists, a study reported earlier this year in The American Journal of Psychiatry noted that the offspring of Protestant or Catholic parents were 76% less likely than the offspring of non-religious parents to experience an episode of major depression. These results are especially interesting when combined with a just published study by Professors Sascha Becker (University of Warwick, U.K.) and Ludger Woessmann (University of Munich, Germany) which shows conclusively that Protestants have higher suicide rates than Catholics. The math seems pretty clear:

Atheists (are less happy than) Protestants (are less happy than) Catholics

Therefore, if you want the best chance of being happy, you should choose to be…

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Now, for all of my non-Catholic readers out there, please don’t bite down on that arsenic capsule just yet. Take note that both the studies mentioned above have some possible geographical issues that might (or might not) possibly skew the results in favor of Catholics. So you see, even in your scientifically proven unhappier lives, there’s always hope.

And on that note, we sign off as is our custom, with the immortal words of the great Les Nessman. Good evening, and may the good news be yours.

STILL VOICES #013

LIFE’S LIKE A MOVIE: BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLANET

The acting is spotty (there’s a very fine line between authentic and downright amateur), the story meanders aimlessly like only an indie film can, and home movies probably have a higher budget, but you know, Brother From Another Planet is still pretty enjoyable. The movie tells the story of an unnamed mute three toed alien who flees to Earth in order to hide from his former masters, only to run into a whole new set of problems due to the color of his skin. Yes, The Brother From Another Planet is a ‘message’ movie about bigotry, but it’s a fair message. Plus, by the time the credits roll, the film goes a little deeper than just the basic black vs. white thing (though that is front and center) and embraces the whole immigrant experience in the United States. At the very end (SPOILERS), when it looks like the Men In Black (no, not the ones with the hit theme song) are about to capture The Brother, a large number of people dressed in various uniforms relating to their occupations emerge from the shadows and takedown The Brother’s pursuers. It turns out The Brother is not the only escaped three toed slave on our planet, and even though they all have experienced some bigotry since landing, it’s a whole lot preferable here than where they came from.

I couldn’t help but think of Brother From Another Planet while attending the Rally For Religious Freedom in downtown Atlanta today.

As you can see, down here in Dixieland we had to hold more umbrellas than protest signs, but that didn’t dampen our enthusiasm too much. Despite the rain, we still managed to get over one thousand people at the rally. Not too shabby for the “city too busy to care”. But more interesting than that was the speakers that were on hand. While we had the obligatory politician (actually, a nice guy who’s also a member of the Knights of Columbus), a good number of those who spoke turned out to be immigrants, including our very own Bishop Luis R. Zarama.

And, let me tell you, the immigrants are a little pissed off. The type of unconstitutional overreach which the U.S. government is attempting with the HHS mandate is not what these people moved here for. This is supposed to be the land of freedom, a place that’s better than where they came from. I think it’s safe to say they feel somewhat betrayed.

Still, even though their irritation was evident, the rally was a positive event overall. Which hasn’t stopped the local paper from trying to put a different spin on the event. Having no luck finding a dissenter in the crowd (assuming he was even there), the reporter from the AJC had to call up a representative of Catholics for Choice in Washington just to get an opposing viewpoint. Sigh. But that’s the fight we’re up against. The powers that be will do whatever they can to shape the narrative and marginalize our voices. That’s why today can only be a start. Please, everyone, keep sending those letters and making those phone calls, keep talking to whomever will listen, and most of all, keep praying. Let’s keep this land of ours a place where immigrants want to flee to, not flee from.

NOW SHOWING AT A BLOG NEAR YOU

So what’s showing at a blog near you? ME! I’ve been remiss in noting that about two weeks ago the nice people at Catholic Exchange began hosting my blog (yes, I warned them, but they wanted it anyway). For the moment, it’s the same old stuff you get here, but I told them at some point I’d at least post something once a week just for them. Which I will link to here when it happens, so you won’t miss it. But just in case you’d like to follow this blog over at Catholic Exchange, here’s the link…

THE B-MOVIE CATECHISM at CATHOLIC EXCHANGE

And if you do visit there, be sure to check out the other bloggers. They seem like good folk (even if they are all probably thinking to themselves “Oh well, there went the neighborhood!”).

WEEKLY NEWSREEL: 3 1/2 TIME-OUTS TUESDAY (VOL. 17)

Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Catholic, and all you other Christians at sea. It’s time for another Weekly Newsreel sponsored once again by the fine folks at Acts of the Apostasy, home of the 3 1/2 Time-Outs Tuesday. It’s getting weird out there. Now off to press.

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DATELINE: NORTH AMERICA – Much hoopla has been made (and rightly so) over the recent poll by the New York Times and CBS News which showed that a whopping 57% of Americans oppose the HHS mandate requiring religious institutions to provide contraception and abortion-inducing drugs. But buried in those results lies the question, just who are the 34% of Americans who actually believe the government has the right to force religious institutions to violate their teachings? Well, in what may be a related story, the latest Angus Reid Public Opinion Poll reports that “people in the United States are more likely than Canadians to consider that Bigfoot is real… In the online survey of representative national samples, three-in-ten Americans (29%) and one-in-five Canadians (21%) think Bigfoot is “definitely” or “probably” real.” So, basically, there’s only a 5% difference (margin of error anyone?) between the number of people who support the HHS mandate and the number of people who believe a secret society of super intelligent ape like beings are roaming the forests of North America. Coincidence? You be the judge.

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DATELINE: UTAH –  In other woodland news, a study out of Brigham Young University has determined that firing a gun is no more effective in keeping people from injury or death during bear attacks than not using a firearm. After analyzing 269 incidents of bear-human conflicts, “The researchers found no statistical difference in the outcome (no injury, injury or fatality) when they compared those who used their gun in an aggressive encounter (229 instances) to those who had firearms but did not use them (40 instances).” Given the data, the scientists reached a conclusion that only science could possibly provide, that the best way to survive a bear encounter is not to have one. So, after thousands of years of Judeo-Christian teaching, someone still felt the need to fund a study just to prove that it’s wise to avoid the near occasion of bears. Sigh.

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DATELINE: SOME DARK CORNER OF THE WORLD IN WHICH YOU LIVE – In keeping with the animal theme (sort of), if you know someone who has been looking for that special drink to go along with their extensive collection of tentacle rape anime (and if that someone happens to be you, quit reading this and get your butt to confession immediately), then let them know their long tortuous search is over. The good folks at J-List are now offering their popular Tentacle Grape soda for sale over the Internet. The drink is a regular sell-out at sci-fi conventions, but now you can order yours any time of the day in six-packs or convenient singles. So, not only does pornography (as the Catechism reminds us) offend against chastity, pervert the conjugal act, do grave injury to the dignity of its participants, and immerse all who are involved with it in the illusion of a fantasy world… but now it can rot your teeth out as well. Isn’t that special?

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Frankly, we got nothing after Tentacle Grape. Sometimes after surfing the Internet, you just have to call it a day and go take a hot scalding shower. “Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”

And with that, we sign off for another week, as is our custom, with the immortal words of the great Les Nessman. Good evening, and may the good news be yours.

CUTAWAYS: BLAZING SADDLES

Given the low brow nature of many of the films we talk about here at the B-Movie Catechism, we’ve naturally never been ones to shy away from the delicate subject of flatulence. Besides, It’s not like we could avoid it even if we wanted to as the average person reportedly produces an average of 14 such events every day (now you know). The venerable practice of inserting fart jokes into popular entertainment has been around since at least the 5th century BC when Aristophanes let a few rip in plays like The Clouds and The Knights, and continued on through the ages, even finding its way into the works of luminaries such as Geoffrey Chaucer and Mark Twain. The Hays Code managed to keep the odorous subject matter out of motion pictures for years, but once the code was abandoned, it was only a matter of time before theater speakers everywhere were trumpeting Hollywood’s new found freedom to blast away. The honor of the first onscreen occurrence of audible flatus most likely goes to Pasolini’s 1971 adaptation of The Caterbury Tales (now you know that too, we’re full of knowledge today), but it was, of course, this scene that finally brought the gag into mainstream movies to stay...

Although it’s probably never been done better than Mr. Brooks did it (although I do have a fond spot in my heart for the Volare scene in Hollywood Knights), since the release of Blazing Saddles we’ve seen (or should I say heard) a non-stop barrage of freeps, rumblers, and breezers in movies, to the point where even a good portion of Academy Award nominees manage to somehow sneak at least one botty burp in.

Alright, by now, I imagine, some of you are probably wondering (assuming you’ve stuck around and read this far) what exactly is the point of discussing this. After all, is this really a topic for nice Church-going people to be wasting time on? Well, the great St. Thomas More certainly thought so. You see, back in 1518, this man whom Pope John Paul II once declared the "heavenly patron of statesmen and politicians", penned an epigram entitled In Efflatum Ventris, or as it’s translated into English, On Breaking Wind. In this satirical piece, the future saint explained, “Wind, if you keep it too long in your stomach,  kills you; on the other hand, it can save your life if it is properly let out. If wind can save or destroy you, then is it not as powerful as dreaded kings?” The man for all seasons wrote this piece during the same period in which he was working on a scathing biography of King Richard III, a book many historians believe was intended as a criticism of the tyranny of all royalty. And while the biography was never published, the epigram was, and it gets the same point across quite nicely, that in the big picture of things, the power of kings amounts to the same as a fart in the wind.

More was only slightly more impressed with elected representatives than he was with kings, but he still found them preferable. He wrote in a more serious work, “A senator is elected by the people to rule; a king attains this end by being born… The one feels that he was made senator by the people; the other feels that the people were created for him so that, of course, he may have subjects to rule. A king in his first year is always very mild indeed. So it is that a consul - one who shares his power - will be at any time as good as a king is in the beginning of his reign. Over a long time a selfish king will wear his people out. If a consul is evil, there is hope of improvement.”

Now, if you’ve been paying attention to the recent debates surrounding the HHS mandate, then you’re well aware that our elected representatives (our consul) here in the U.S. have seemingly forgotten that they are our servants and not our rulers. They have forgotten (or ignored) the fact that an ‘unalienable’ right such as freedom of religion is something that pre-exists the state and is therefore something which can not be given or taken away by any government, but only protected. They have forgotten all of that. Or given the state of our educational system, maybe they never learned it in the first place.

Either way, we’re going to try and remind them. This Friday, March 23, I’ll be joining up with what will hopefully be a sizable number of people in more than 100 cities across the country for The Nationwide Rally for Religious Freedom. The purpose of the rally is simply stated, “Stand Up for Religious Freedom—Stop the HHS Mandate!” If you’ve got the time, feel free to join us. You can check where the rallies will be held in your state at this site. Come on down and help us raise a stink. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Not like, uh, well, you know…

SHORT FEATURE: DEVIL IN A CONVENT

Back in 2011, the British branch of the organization Aid to the Church in Need published a report entitled "Persecuted and Forgotten? A Report on Christians oppressed for their faith." The report claimed that 75% of the religious persecution taking place in the world today was directed squarely at Christians, with most of the life threatening instances taking place in the Middle East, Africa and Asia. Obviously we’re not being killed off here in the States yet, but considering the growing hostility of the American government towards religious institutions here in the Land of the Free (unless you actually believe what the Church teaches), that 75% is a pretty easy figure to accept.

So, they’re out to get us. But, as Pope Benedict XVI reminded us back in 2010, "Today we see in a truly terrifying way that the greatest persecution of the Church does not come from enemies on the outside, but is born of the sin within the Church.”

Now, after watching that short, a person might be tempted to ask, “So, is Georges Melies suggesting that Satan invented liturgical dance and puppet shows?” Wellll… maybe, but that’s beside the point. The main thing to remember is that we must always be on guard against Satan attacking us, even from within our own walls. To maintain such vigilance, His Holiness remarked, “The Church has a deep need to learn to do penance, accept purification, and to learn to ask forgiveness.” Which sounds an awful lot like what we’re supposed to be doing during Lent anyway, right? Hey, just because the new elect preparing to join the Church on Easter are undergoing the Scrutinies during Lent doesn’t mean they’re the only ones who need to be taking a long look at themselves.

Ultimately, Lent is about each and every one of our own ongoing conversions which, as the Catechism reminds us, “is accomplished in daily life by gestures of reconciliation, concern for the poor, the exercise and defense of justice and right, by the admission of faults to one's brethren, fraternal correction, revision of life, examination of conscience, spiritual direction, acceptance of suffering, [AND YES] endurance of persecution for the sake of righteousness.”

Yeah yeah, I know, they just had to throw that last little bit in, didn’t they? Unfortunately, sometimes, it’s just part of the package, something we have to go through as we grow closer to God. But as bad as the persecution gets (and we’ve got a long way to go before we’ve seen the worst), just like in the short, things can still turn out okay in the end. “We can expect that evil will always launch attacks from the inside and the outside” the Pope said, “but the forces of good are also always present, and in the end, the Lord is stronger than evil.”

BMC MOVIE OF THE WEEK: LOOKER

“This fun, silly thriller written and directed by Michael Crichton manages to combine the dramatic murders of beautiful models, a secret conspiracy to use TV commercials for mind-control, and an unusual seeing-eye device which makes the wearer invisible. Plastic surgeon Larry Roberts (Albert Finney) becomes the prime suspect after two models on whom he operated are killed. Larry becomes suspicious because both of the women came into his office asking for very precise and seemingly unnecessary physical alterations. Agreeing to operate, because the women's jobs depended on the surgery, Larry must now clear his own name and save his life and career. With the aid of a friend and model Cindy (Susan Dey), Larry discovers and foils the plot led by corporation-head John Reston (James Coburn). Larry must then fight for his life against Reston's thugs who are equipped with the devices, called "Lookers." This is good, if silly fun and Albert Finney does his best with a somewhat implausible script.” – Rovi’s AllMovie Guide.

March 3, 2012: Saturday of the First Week in Lent (Year B)

You would think a movie written and directed by the same guy who penned Jurassic Park, The Andromeda Strain, and Westworld would be better known than it is, but, sadly, the only thing most sci-fi geeks (the guys anyway) seem to remember about Looker nowadays is that it’s the movie in which Susan Dey (the girl who played Laurie from The Partridge Family) briefly appears nude (in a PG rated film, what the…). Pathetic, I know, but then again, what do you expect from a crowd who still pines away for Slave Girl Leia even though its been almost thirty years since Carrie Fisher could fit into that bikini. The funny thing is, that propensity for men to focus on a woman’s physical attributes is actually one of the things explicitly addressed in Looker. In one scene in particular, Albert Finney’s character is hooked up to a computer monitored headset which tracks what parts of the television screen his eyes are focused on. Needless, to say, when shown a commercial for a soft drink featuring a scantily clad young lady lounging on a sailboat, the good doctor’s gaze is found to wander over everything except for the can of soda itself. This being an obvious problem for the advertisers, the testers instruct the computer to reposition the can to a more, shall we say, strategic location slightly below the actress’ chin.

Now that setup probably doesn’t sound all that science-fictiony given that such scenarios most likely play out hourly on the MacBooks of every advertising agency in the world these days, but remember that Looker was made in 1981, a time when about the best home computer the average Joe could get ahold of was an 8-bit Commodore. So, given that Looker was released decades before moviegoers would see the likes of Gollum, Caesar the ape, & (ugh) Jar Jar Binks, it’s kind of interesting to watch a movie where the central conceit is that computer animated actors will one day come to replace human beings. Of course, this being a screenplay by accused technophobe Michael Crichton, there’s a sinister side to the technology (yes, even more sinister than creating characters like Jar Jar). As it turns out, the reason given as to why digital thespians will become so commonplace is that humans simply aren’t perfect enough.

You see, along with inventing the L.O.O.K.E.R. (Light Ocular-Oriented Kinetic Emotive Responses) hypnotizing gun and a method of brainwashing television viewers utilizing light pulses, James Coburn and the eeevil scientists at the Digital Matrix laboratory also calculated the exact physical measurements a person needs in order to be appealing to the broadest audience. That’s why Finney’s plastic surgeon character has a string of models coming into his office seeking reconstructive surgery for reasons such as their cheekbones are 0.4 millimeters too high or their areola is 5 millimeters too wide. But it doesn’t stop there. Even after all of the models receive the required surgical corrections, Digital Matrix determines that the illusion of perfection is broken once the women start moving around. In order to maintain the desired results, it’s decided that the bodies of the actresses need to be optically scanned into the computers and animated, as digital duplicates, unlike their human counterparts, can be programmed to maintain optimal positioning. Hence the scene in which Susan Dey, much to the delight of Partridge Family slash fiction aficionados everywhere (c’mon, it’s the Internet, you know they’re out there somewhere), doffs her clothing and steps into the world’s biggest scanner. Unfortunately, once all the models are properly pixelated, Digital Matrix decides it no longer needs the live women and begins killing them off to prevent competitors from acquiring their services.

It’s all kind of silly (do you really need a geometrically perfect woman just to sell floor wax?), full of plot holes (hey, we’re the police, but we think we’ll just follow the plastic surgeon around and watch him handle everything), and not well put together (the original theatrical cut of the film notoriously has the reason for the murders entirely edited out), but in the end Looker is still a pretty decent time killer. And in an offhand way, it does make the point that ultimately no man or woman can hope to achieve perfection. Just read Romans chapter 3 if you need to confirm exactly how lousy we all are at even when we try. Which makes this last Saturday’s gospel reading a bit disconcerting, because in it Jesus bluntly tells his disciples, “So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Does this reading mean Jesus is demanding the impossible of us?

Well, not really. See, this is another one of those cases where it would be handy to have someone majoring in Biblical language studies hanging around the house while you’re reading Scripture. It turns out that in the original Greek, the word we have translated as ‘perfect’ is ‘telios’ which does not mean being sinless or without any flaws, but rather means being completed or brought to full purpose. Taken in this sense, something is ‘perfect’ only when it is fulfilling its highest calling. For example, in Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers, the killer cat creature uses a piece of corn-on-the-cob to stab a policeman in the back. Now, while it might be possible to use corn-on-the-cob in this fashion (you know, in some alternate universe where corn is made of the same substance as Wolverine’s claws), that is not what corn is purposed for. Corn-on-the-cob is only ‘complete’ when it serves the purpose for which it was made… to be eaten. Preferably drenched in hot cholesterol packed butter. Mmmmm.

Sorry, I digress. This whole no nighttime snacks during Lent is getting to me.

Anyway, what this means is that when Jesus is instructing us to be perfect, he’s not suggesting we scrupulously get hung up over our most minute flaws, but rather that we make the attempt to fulfill our highest purpose. And to find out exactly what that purpose is, all we need to do is go back a few sentences and read a bit more of Saturday’s gospel. “You have heard that it was said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers and sisters only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.” In short, we are only ‘complete’ as human beings when we strive to love others in the same way God does.

Which, considering some of the jerks out there, is probably harder than reaching physical perfection or shoving a piece of corn through somebody’s back. But we have to try, right?

WEEKLY NEWSREEL: 3½ TIME-OUTS TUESDAY (VOL. 15)

Good evening Mr. & Mrs. Catholic, and all you other Christians at sea. It’s been awhile since we’ve had a Weekly Newsreel here at the B-Movie Catechism, but since we’ve been wanting to contribute to the 3 1/2 Time-Outs Tuesday hosted by LarryD over at Acts of the Apostasy for awhile now, this just seemed like the best format to do so. Now off to press.

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DATELINE: WASHINGTON D.C. - It was announced by the Pentagon that The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) has created a "Cheetah" robot which can gallop up to 18 mph… because, you know, having a robot that can outrun human beings couldn’t possibly be a bad idea.

Progress is fine, Pope Benedict XVI once said, but “the common good is the end that gives meaning to progress and to development, which otherwise would be limited to the sole production of material goods. Progress and development are necessary, but if they are not oriented to the common good, they lead to the negative consequences of the prevalence of consumerism, waste, poverty and excess.” And possibly Terminators, though His Holiness didn’t say as much.

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DATELINE: NEW SOUTH WALES - A recent study by Dr Matthew Michael Large shows that people who gouge their own eyes out (a.k.a. self-enucleation) do not do so because of religious fervor (if thine eye offends thee…), but rather because they are, in fact, quite frickin’ insane.

While the Catechism does note that “there is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle [and that] spiritual progress entails the ascesis and mortification that gradually lead to living in the peace and joy of the Beatitudes”, the old Catholic Encyclopedia points out that mortification is typically considered “the deliberate restraint that one places on natural impulses in order to make them increasingly subject to sanctification through obedience to reason illumined by faith… One example is the law of fast and abstinence.” So, giving up meat on Friday, that’s mortification. Gouging out your own eyes… not so much.

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DATELINE: SHINGO – Thinking of visiting the Holy Land this Easter to  see the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. Well, forget it. According to the Takenouchi Documents, a set of ancient papers discovered in 1935 and transcribed by cosmoarcheologist(!?!) Wado Kosaka (the man who once ‘contacted’ a UFO on live television), you need to travel to Japan in order to see the true burial place of Jesus. As revealed in these writings, “Christ first visited Japan between the ages of 21 and 33 (the Bible does in fact skip over large periods of Christ's early life, and many theories exist about what he did in the intervals). The document claims he studied the native language and culture before returning to Jerusalem, where he was crucified. Only it wasn't really him who was crucified. His younger brother, Isukiri (who makes no appearance in the Bible), nobly took his place on the cross, pretending to be the Son of God, while the real Christ fled to Siberia. A few years later, via Alaska, he arrived at the port of Hachinohe, just 40 km from Shingo. He made his way to the village, where he married, had three children, and lived to the age of 106.” While even most of the locals in Shingo admit to believing the whole story to be a hoax, you have to admit, it still sounds more plausible than The DaVinci Code.

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And on a final note, we here at Eegah, Inc. decided that during Lent it would be a nice idea to replace night time snacking with praying a rosary. It’s been two weeks now and let me tell you… those beads are starting to look awful yummy.

And with that, we here at the Newsreel sign off, as is our custom, with the immortal words of the great Les Nessman. Good evening, and may the good news be yours.

STILL VOICES #012