Saturday, July 25, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 25, 2026

The Vineyard (1989) People will pay thousands for a bottle of Dr. Elson Po's wine, unaware it's made from the blood of those he keeps captive in his underground lab. The wine, along with a bit of Chinese black magic, helps keep Po unnaturally young. However, the conniving quack needs the perfect sacrifice to make his stolen youth permanent. To that end, he invites a number of Hollywood hopefuls to his private island under the pretense of making a movie. To Po's consternation, though, the corpses of his prior victims don't want to stay buried beneath his grapes serving as fertilizer, and keep popping up to make trouble. And speaking of corpses, just who is that rotting old hag hanging out in one of his mansion's bedrooms? Indispensable character actor James Hong plays a barely disguised variation of his Big Trouble in Little China character Lo Pan, but more importantly, uses this film as his first foray as writer/director. It's certainly no masterpiece, but you get what you expect from a movie made for Roger Corman during his New World Pictures period.

This movie's title sort of obligates us to consider Jesus' Parable of the Workers/Laborers in the Vineyard. That's the one in which a vineyard owner hires a number of laborers at various times of the day, but pays them all the same wage when the sun goes down, much to the consternation of those who started work early. St. Augustine summed up the lesson pretty well, saying, "We may apply the parable to this life of ours. For they are, as it were, called at the first hour, who, when fresh from their mother’s womb, begin to be Christians; those, as it were, at the third hour, who begin as boys; those, as it were, at the sixth, who begin as young men; those, as it were, at the ninth, who begin when verging towards old age; those, as it were, at the eleventh, who begin when actually in the decay of life; but all, with the prospect of receiving the one denarius of life eternal. ... For to all an equal pay is promised; but as to the actual hour of working there is great uncertainty. ... Why then do you put off Him who calls you, when you are certain of the pay, uncertain of a day?”


Frankenstein 1970 (1958) At the start of the '70s, which look an awful lot like the '50s, an aging Baron Victor von Frankenstein is in need of some dough to continue the experiments in immortality begun by his grandfather Richard Freiherr von Frankenstein. Yeah, there's not much Mary Shelley here, just go with it. Anyway, he leases out his castle to a film crew making a movie about Frankenstein's famous ancestor. Apparently, it's not a low budget production, as the money he receives allows Frankenstein to purchase an atomic reactor, which he uses to start construction on an indestructible version of his own body. Fortunately for Frankenstein, there happens to be a lot of virile Hollywood types running around who might make for good spare parts. This really should be a lot more fun than it is with that kind of setup, but the film kind of stumbles around aimlessly like the bandaged monster Frankenstein cobbles together. Still it gets an extra star just for Karloff, who hams it up as the monster maker this time around, and for being shot in CinemaScope, which is more than this kind of movie deserves.

Movies like Frankenstein 1970 show that some transhumanist ideas have been around for a long time, in particular the notion that the soul can be transferred out of the body and into something else. The Church has long scoffed at this concept as it contradicts the revealed truth that the human person is a profound unity of body and soul (hylomorphism, if you need the big Catholic word). Created by God, the soul is not something humans can manipulate, replicate, or relocate like a piece of furniture. Because of this, whatever would get transferred into a new body wouldn't be a soul, so it wouldn't result in immortality, just death for the real person. That's why the Vatican’s International Theological Commission wrote that “in the utopian scope of its quest for immanent immortality, transhumanism can be interpreted as the existential expression of a presumption that is both naive and arrogant.”

Sunday, July 19, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 19, 2026

Jaws: The Revenge (1987) With her husband Martin dead from a heart attack and her youngest son Sean recently killed by a great white shark, Ellen Brody throws in the towel and moves from Amity Island to the Bahamas where her oldest son Michael works as a marine biologist. However, the shark, ticked off at the number of its kin that the Brody family has dispatched over the years, follows the family to the Commonwealth with the intent of finishing the rest of them off (okay, I guess). Using Ellen's newly discovered psychic link with the beast (look, I didn't write the movie, okay), she and Michael, along with their new pals Jake and Hoagie, track down the vindictive fishy. Or is it tracking them? Yes, this is the film which Michael Caine now claims he made just because he wanted to buy a new house. Chances are you've already heard how bad this movie is and you'll find nothing to contradict that assessment here.

 

Like all chondrichthyans, sharks have brains adapted primarily for sensory processing, instinctual behaviors, and survival. Scientists say a shark's lack of an advanced neocortex means their minds can't support higher-order emotions, self-awareness, planning, or sustained cognitive processing. That pretty much rules out a shark experiencing anything like remembering a specific person who did them wrong or planning retaliation for the wrongdoing like the shark does in Jaws: The Revenge. Any antagonistic behaviors they display are likely just the simple fight-or-flight responses common to all animals. You know, it's always nice when science catches up to the Church, which has taught animals lack the rational soul to experience anything beyond basic emotions/appetites since at least Aquinas expounded on Aristotle in the 13th Century.

 

Shadow of the Hawk (1976) Mike is pretty content to live in the big city far from the reservation he grew up on. However, when journalist Maureen shows up with Mike's grandfather Old Man Hawk in tow, Mike is guilted into driving the man 300 miles back to his home. Along the way, Mike learns his ancestor has sought him out to train him as the tribe's next medicine man, a responsibility Mike wants nothing to do with. Nevertheless, he may have no choice but to do some on-the-job training since the spirit of the evil sorceress Dsonoqua wants Old Man Hawk and his bloodline wiped out of existence. Can our heroes survive the supernatural dangers Dsonoqua unleashes long enough for Mike to answer his calling? Though it opened in theaters, and some elements like Dsonoqua's masked visage are surprisingly effective, the production has more of a made-for-television feel than that of a cinematic release. Still, it earns an extra star for the presence of Chief Dan George, who oozes Native American authenticity even when the goings get silly, such as when Jan-Michael Vincent wrestles a guy in a bear suit while his stunt man gets mauled by the real thing.

 

As it often goes in these types of movies, Mike is reluctant to follow his true calling. That happens in the Christianity as well. According to the Vhurch, a calling ( or vocation) is God's personal invitation to each person to live a life of holiness, love, and service in a specific way that leads to fulfillment and eternal happiness. However, there's often resistance to that calling due to such things as anxiety over commitment, feelings of unworthiness, concerns over losing personal freedom, and just plain old fear of radical change. This kind of thing is normal, to the point that the Bible is full of people who were reluctant to follow their vocation at first. Moses, Jeremiah, Jonah, and more all had their qualms when God came calling. Even Mary had a question or two before speaking her famous line, "Let it be to me according to your word.” Reluctance doesn't disqualify a calling. As with Jacob, honest wrestling with God can lead to a  more rewarding vocation.

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 14, 2026


Splatter University (1984) Three years after a lunatic escapes from a nearby asylum (didn't anybody put locks on these places in '80s movies), someone murders the sociology teacher at St. Trinian's College. Her replacement, Julie Parker, immediately becomes suspicious of everyone she meets, and for good reason. The creepy wheelchair-bound priest who serves as the school's headmaster is nosy and overbearing, her new boyfriend may have secret ties to the murdered woman, and the matron of her boarding house has Norma Bates written all over her. Then there's the fact that her classroom is full of slovenly degenerates, and that's just the girls. Seriously, every kid in this movie acts like they were written by a hormone-crazed 13-year-old who has never met a college student, but has definite fantasies of what they must be like. Once the classless coeds start getting picked off, it's hard not to root for the killer. Still, even though it's a middling low-tier slasher at best, it's got that locally-flavored regional horror vibe that will appeal to some.

 

One of the problems right off the bat with Splatter university is that there is no St. Trinian for the school in the movie to be named after, not even on the list of the hundreds of Saints who lost their feast days in 1969. That was the year the Church decided to clean things up a little bit by removing from the General Roman Calendar any Saint whose historical existence, details, or legends were questionable based on modern hagiographical and historical scholarship. This didn't mean those Saints were taken out of the Roman Martyrology (the Church's official list of recognized saints and martyrs), just that their feasts  were made optional for the whole Church, leaving them to private veneration and local celebrations. St. Christopher is probably the best example, as his feast is not on the calendar, but most every Catholic still carries a medal with his image on it. Now, it's possible the movie's writers used the name St. Trinian's as an homage to the British comic strip popular in the '50s, but that's suggesting they put some thought into the film.

 


Cool World (1992) Cartoonist Jack Deebs creates a comic called Cool World based on visions he believes to be imaginary, at least until he is sucked into the quite real cartoon dimension where the indecently drawn Holli Would awaits. Holli has discovered that if she can have sex with a human, she can transform into a real girl and escape into our world. For whatever reason, that's the rule. Anyway, detective Frank Harris, another human trapped in Cool World, does his best to prevent this, as such an unlikely coupling would result in the two dimensions merging and animated mayhem usurping the natural order on Earth. One shudders to think what legendary underground animator Ralph Bashki would have done with Cool World if given free reign, but extensive studio interference resulted in this oddly neutered, yet still slightly sleazy take on Roger Rabbit. Waifu pillow guys might love it, but most others will probably find it too cringey. As for Gabriel Byrne, Brad Pitt, and Kim Basinger, they would probably like this erased from their resumes.

 

Although the Church has never directly produced an animated movie, in 1984, the Vatican did get Radiotelevisione Italiana (RAI) to relay a request to famed animator Osamu Tezuka (creator of Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion among others) to see if he would be interested in producing an anime adaptation of the Bible. Hesitant at first because he wasn't a Christian, Tezuka finally agreed after reassurances from the Holy See. Sadly, Tezuka passed away in 1989 before work could be completed, and only 26 episodes covering the Old Testament were released. As Tezuka's death resulted in many episodes being completed by other directors, In the Beginning: Stories from the Bible isn't considered on par with his acknowledged masterpieces, but it's still fondly remembered for its overall artistic value and sincere attempt to bridge cultural differences. One such difference is that some versions of the show contain nudity (Adam & Eve and such), not a huge deal in Japan. Cool World fans shouldn't get too excited, though, as such instances are brief, non-gratuitous, and never eroticized.

Tuesday, July 07, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 7, 2026


Species (1995) Scientists receive an extraterrestrial message detailing how to create an alien/human hybrid, so you better believe they do so immediately, producing a baby they name Sil. However, when Sil develops to 12-years-old in just a few months, the big brains decide that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all and futilely attempt to euthanize her. Escaping, Sil quickly ages to adulthood and sets out on her genetically programmed mission, to mate so she can produce offspring designed to wipe out the human race. Oddly, despite the fact that she looks like a Cosmopolitan cover model (which is exactly what the actress playing Sil was in real life), Sil has a difficult time finding someone to hook up with. It's only a matter of time, though, so the government sends in a crack team of scientists and mercenaries to deal with the problem. But can they? Don't let the fact that this was made by MGM, has art design by H. R. Giger, and stars not one, but two Academy Award winners fool you. This is pure exploitation, basically Alien's trashy cousin, so expectations should be set accordingly.

 

Obviously, the Church has no official teachings on sexual relations with aliens, but that hasn't stopped some Catholics like Jimmy Akin and Paul Thigpen from speculating about it. It goes without saying that such a pairing would have to occur within a valid marriage. Beyond that, they seem to agree that, at a minimum, the alien would have to have a rational soul in the image of God and have biological compatibility with humans to allow for procreation. That's because a sacramental marriage requires the consent of free will and an openness to life. Just because one of the spouses was an alien, you don't get to discard those requirements. Then there's the question of baptism and redemption through Christ. Authors like C. S. Lewis raised the possibility of aliens who are not fallen like mankind. Would that be a hindrance? Again, the Church has no definitive statement on such things, but she doesn't discourage noodling over them as a way to explore faith and reason.

 


The Descent (2005) One year after the death of her husband and daughter, Sarah goes on a spelunking trip with five of her friends hoping to find some peace of mind. That's not to be, however, as the group's most gung-ho member, Juno, purposely leads the ladies into unexplored tunnels where they become trapped by a cave-in. To make matters worse, the women soon discover they are not alone. In between them and their only possibility of escape is a hereto undiscovered tribe of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers (Hmm, why does that sound familiar?). To top it off, one of the group reveals to Sarah some upsetting truths about her late husband. Can Sarah and the rest overcome the psychological and physical dangers of the situation to make it to the surface, or are they all destined to be dinner? With some excellent performances, its undeniably creepy Crawlers, and some of the most claustrophobic scenes put to celluloid, The Descent ranks as one the first horror classics of the 21st century.

 

Before he founded the Benedictine order, St. Benedict of Nursia spent three years living as a hermit in a cave near Subiaco, Italy. Disgusted by the moral decay and licentiousness he saw in the city, Benedict decided to follow the example of the Desert Fathers and seek a life of austerity and isolation. He did receive some aid from a nearby monk named Romanus who provided clothing and food, which he would lower into Benedict's cave by rope. Otherwise, the future Saint spent most of his time in prayer and contemplation. There's no records of Benedict having to battle subterranean cannibals, but one source does mention him battling the temptation of lust by rolling around in thorns, so there's that. Naturally, the Church doesn't call everyone to spend time alone in caves, but she does suggest occasional periods of fuga mundi (flight from the world), which is the deliberate withdrawal from worldly distractions, attachments, and the corruptive influences of society in order to pursue a deeper life with God.

Tuesday, June 30, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 30, 2026

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971) When the world's greatest and most secretive confectioner announces a contest in which five children will be allowed to tour his fortress of a factory and secure a lifetime supply of chocolate, the entire world succumbs to Wonka-mania trying to locate one of the elusive golden tickets. The eventual winners include the gum-chomping Violet Beauregarde, the television-obsessed Mike Teevee, the ever-omnivorous Augustus Gloop, the proto-girl boss Veruca Salt, and the impoverished paper boy Charlie Bucket. As the children and their chaperones proceed through the wonderland of Wonka's factory, their individual vices lead to avoidable disasters, which are subsequently eulogized by singing orange-skinned little people known as Oompa-Loompas. Will any children be left to claim the ultimate prize? With an outstanding eccentric performance from Gene Wilder as Wonka, some immediately hummable tunes, and an underlying somewhat-mean spirit to the proceedings, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is a classic kid's morality tale in which the unvirtuous are punished and the meek inherit everything they ever wanted.

 

When Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth," He wasn't referring to weak, spineless passivity. In the original Greek, the word translated in the verse as "meek" is the word "praus", which roughly means strength under control. Given that, biblical meekness is not being a doormat, it is doing good in response to evil. Meekness in the spiritual sense means showing humility and gentleness toward others, enduring trials patiently without resentment or revenge, accepting God's will without and over-abundance of muttering. In this way, meekness is a direct challenge to the worldly preference for immediate retaliation, over-assertive behavior, and crass self-promotion. Sounds nice, but meekness isn't easy. As Pope Francis noted, "Anyone can appear meek when everything is peaceful, but how does one react under pressure, if one is under attack, offended, threatened?" Meekness isn't just an idea, it's an active choice.

 

The Land Unknown (1957) Stop me if you've heard this one before. An expedition heads to Antarctica to investigate some unusually warm waters. Now, any kid who has ever gone swimming in a public pool can tell that water which suddenly gets warm is a thing to be avoided, but these guys—and obligatory gal—head towards it anyway. A mistake, as a pterosaur instantly knocks their helicopter into a vast volcanic crater where dinosaurs and man-eating plants run rampant. Yep, it's The Lost World, but with enough story elements changed so Sir Arthur Conan Doyle doesn't get a dime. Of course, since pre-production budget cuts really put a hurt on the film's special effects, Doyle probably would have avoided drawing attention to The Land Unknown as he wouldn't want his name associated with it in any way. However, for fans of this particular kind of '50s schlock, the hand puppets, magnified monitor lizards, and poverty row T-Rex costume are probably a net positive.

 

Methodist founder John Wesley was fond of variations of the term "the land unknown", using it in hymns and poems to metaphorically refer to heaven. In his eulogy, On the Death of Mr. John Matthews, Dec. 28, 1764, Wesley wrote, "Blessing, and thanks, and power, and praise, Jesus is worthy to receive, who keeps his saints throughout their days, and doth the final victory give! He hath his faithful mercies shown, to him, whose loss we now deplore, safe entered on that land unknown, to weep, and fret, and die no more." Interestingly, though he was born into Protestantism, Wesley was accused of being a secret agent of the Jesuits. The evidence against Wesley was his belief in apostolic succession, the necessity of good works and fasting, his rejection of predestination, his affirmation of the intercession of Saints, and apparently, a belief in the Real Presence in the Eucharist. If he could have just gotten over his Anglican-infused hatred of "popery", he might of made a fine Catholic.

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 23, 2026

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955) While stranded in Cairo, an out of work Bud and Lou get wind of a sacred medallion that supposedly leads to a hidden treasure within the long lost temple of Klaris. Of course, they're not the only interested parties. A ruthless business woman and the cult of Klaris wouldn't mind getting their mitts on the treasure as well. Our bumbling heroes eventually secure the medallion but, of course, Lou ends up eating it. However, a quick trip to a doctor with a fluoroscope reveals the directions, and soon, all the rivals are on their way. Little do they know, the living mummy of Klaris awaits them all. This is on the lesser end of Abbott and Costello's trip through Universal's oeuvre of classic monsters, but it's still got more than enough fun moments to keep you entertained. The three mummy bit in particular never gets old.

 

Legend says the Holy Family spent some time in Cairo during their flight from Herod. One spot that commemorates this visit is Saint Virgin Mary's Coptic Orthodox Church, also knowns as The Hanging Church because of its suspended nave. Cairo is also the location where the Coptic saint Simon the Tanner is claimed to have performed the moving the Mokattam Mountain. When the Muslim Caliph al-Muizz challenged the patriarch Abraham to prove the truth of the verse where Jesus claims if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move a mountain, the Holy Virgin appeared and sent Abraham to Simon, who carried out the miracle. After witnessing the mountain move, the Caliph converted to Christianity. The Catholic Church does not formally recognize or venerate St. Simon the Tanner, but does recognize the broader Coptic Orthodox Church as having valid sacraments and apostolic succession in some contexts, which is more important.

 


The Monster That Challenged the World (1957) An earthquake off the coast of California unleashes giant mollusks, though you'll have to take the movie's word for that as the monsters look more like deranged caterpillars. After a few swimmers get munched on, the Navy sends in divers who dispatch one of the creatures and retrieve a large egg, which they send to a nearby lab for study. While the military deals with a horde of mollusks making their way through the state's irrigation canals, the egg at the lab is accidentally allowed to hatch, setting loose a mollusk to menace the lead scientist and her young daughter. To be fair, the movie's title is a bit misleading as the monster only challenges a handful of swimmers and one little girl, but this is enjoyable '50s fare nonetheless. Plus, kudos to the filmmakers for actually building a full-sized giant monster to interact with the actors on set. He's pretty nifty, despite not being very mollusk-like.

 

I guess since many mollusk are such slimy little things, they don't get a lot of attention in Christian symbology. However, there are a few paintings like Carlo Crivelli’s The Virgin and Child with Saints Francis and Sebastian and Francesco del Cossa’s The Annunciation which prominently feature snails. At the time these paintings were created, snails were believed to reproduce asexually, either by being fertilized by dew or just spontaneous generation. Trusting the science of his time, Dominican friar Francis of Retz wrote in Defensorium inviolatae virginitatis Mariae: “If the dew of the clear air can make the sea snail pregnant, then God in virtue can make His mother pregnant.” And that's how a simple mollusk became a popular analogy for the Virgin Birth, and by extension the Incarnation of Christ, in medieval/Renaissance religious art.

Sunday, June 14, 2026

DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 14, 2026

Clash of the Titans (1981) Though Zeus ordered the city Argos to be destroyed by the enormous Kraken, he allowed his infant son Perseus to be taken to safety. Now a grown man and carrying magic gifts bestowed by the gods, Perseus travels to the cursed city of Joppa to win the hand of Princess Andromeda. The goddess Thetis has no intention of letting this happen, though, since her own son Calibos was going to wed Andromeda before Zeus transformed him into a hideous monster. Taking advantage of a faux pas by Andromeda's mother, who foolishly declares her daughter to be more beautiful than the goddess, Thetis orders the Kraken to be released on Joppa. Their only hope is for Perseus to obtain the only weapon on Earth that can defeat the most dreaded of Titans, the snake-covered head of the Gorgon Medusa. Harryhausen's final movie, chock full of his signature stop-motion animation, was deemed a little too old fashioned by many critics. However, movie-goers, including this one, disagreed, and made it a hit.


If you count the various minor deities, local spirits, and personifications of abstract ideas, the ancient Greeks had in excess of 3,000 gods and goddesses, many of them overseeing specific domains for which they provided patronage. This has led some critics of the Church to declare many Christian Saints as nothing more than rebranded pagan gods. This doesn't hold up, though. Saints, after all, are just humans who lived exemplary lives and are believed to be in heaven interceding on our behalf. They don't have any  divine powers of their own, as any miracles attributed to their intercession comes from God, not the Saint. Plus, it goes without saying, Saints aren't coming to Earth to father children all over the place. Now, all that's not to say the occasional devotions around particular Saints haven't absorbed old local customs, but the idea that Saints are recycled gods just doesn't work.



The Valley of Gwangi (1969) Entrepreneurial cowgirl T.J. hopes to save her failing rodeo with a new act named El Diablo, a toy-sized horse from the supposedly extinct species Eohippus. Unfortunately, instead of generating excitement, the locals believe El Diablo to be cursed and try to return the tiny animal to its place of origin. Attempting to retrieve their headliner, T.J. and her men follow behind, only to discover El Diablo was not the only prehistoric creature still thriving in the hidden valley. Breaking out the lassos, the courageous cowherds manage to snag an Allosaurus whom they christen Gwangi and advertise as the rodeo's next attraction. However, Gwangi's debut doesn't quite go as they hoped. Look, if you can't get behind cowboys vs. dinosaurs with special effects by Ray Harryhausen, I don't know if there's any hope for you. 


Many early cowboys in what is now the Southwest United States were vaqueros who brought their ranching and herding skills along with them. They also brought their Catholic religion in the form of Spanish missions and settlements. It was through such missions that Sister Blandina Segale did her most notable work. She helped establish Catholic schools, co-founded hospitals, built orphanages, and worked against injustices to Native Americans. Of course, her best known story is the one in which she nursed a member of Billy the Kid's gang back to health and convinced the notorious outlaw not to seek revenge against the doctors who had refused the man treatment. A movie based on her journals, At the End of the Santa Fe Trail, came out in 2025. It doesn't have dinosaurs in it, though, so you'll have to look for reviews of it somewhere else.