DAILY CALL SHEET: APRIL 3, 2025

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) After King Arthur assembles his knights, God sends them on a quest for… oh, come on, you know the story, or you should if schools are doing their jobs. And, if you're of a certain age, you know every word in this movie. The website Ranker has a number of lists devoted to the most quoted movies of all time and Monty Python and the Holy Grail is always in the top five. Deservedly so, as it never gets any less funny no matter how many times you watch it. And anyone who disagrees with that is simply an empty-headed animal food trough wiper, and I… well, you can finish the line yourself.

TIL: Check out any list of the most quoted books of all time and the Christian Bible is invariably at the top. As an article at MSN puts it, "The Bible is not just a religious text; it is a cultural artifact that has influenced art, music, and law. Its teachings, such as 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,' resonate across cultures and generations, offering a moral compass for billions… This timeless tome continues to guide individuals and shape societies, making it a cornerstone of Western civilization." So, even if you aren't Christian, accurate knowledge of the Bible is a must if you want to claim any understanding of the world in which we live.

Slither (2006) A small town blowhard is infected with an alien parasite bent on becoming the only consciousness on the planet. Along with being transformed into a tentacled mess, the poor guy's also compelled to impregnate the local floozy with thousands of slug-like larvae that explode forth to take over everyone they can get inside. Soon, it's up to a small handful of uninfected to stop the growing hive-mind from taking over Earth. James Gunn's feature directorial debut showcases the beginnings of the wit and visual flare that would soon become his trademark, but the gross-out effects let you know he definitely earned his filmmaking diploma working for Troma.

TIL: While we can only speculate as to what exactly the state of being we call Heaven will be like, one thing for certain is that it will not be a hive mind; we will not be absorbed into the consciousness of God and lose our individuality. Since we were created with free will, which God will not remove, and promised glorified versions of our existing bodies, this pretty much ensures we'll remain rational individuals. Yes, the singular focus of each person will be on glorifying God (why wouldn't it be), but the expressions of that focus will likely be as varied as the number of people there.

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 27, 2025

 

Tomb of Torture (1963) Someone with a really messed up face kills two girls in a castle where a countess was long ago murdered. Unaware of those events and plagued by visions that she is the reincarnation of the dead noblewoman, a young(ish) woman and her father travel to the castle looking for answers. They don't like the ones they find. The film tries valiantly to be a Bava-esque gothic thriller, but the unfortunate choice of cartoonish library music makes the whole thing feel like a hard PG-13 episode of Scooby Doo.

TIL: "Music, great music", Pope Benedict XVI remarked after attending a concert by Chinese pianist Jin Ju, "distends the spirit, arouses profound emotions and almost naturally invites us to raise our minds and hearts to God in all situations of human existence, the joyful and the sad. Music can become prayer." Of course, the qualifier there is the word great. The choice of lackluster or inappropriate music, be it at church or on a movie soundtrack, can ruin the desired atmosphere.

Still Voices: Gamera vs. Jiger (1970) - "And the turtles, of course...all the turtles are free, as turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be." - Dr. Seuss

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 18, 2025

Funny Book Philosophy: Nighthawk 001 (1998) Remembering that time Nighthawk ran into Daredevil at mass and Matt gives him a quick lesson on Easter.

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 17, 2025

Adam and Eve (1983) After getting the boot from Eden, the titular couple run afoul of pterodactyl puppets and a guy dressed in a bear suit seemingly made by a special effects person who only vaguely remembers what a bear is supposed to look like. They also interact with various Cro-Magnons and Neanderthals, one of whom Eve temporarily hooks up with after her and Adam have a spat. The movie never really explains why all of this stuff might have been left out of the Bible, but if one had to guess, it's probably because it's all so abysmally dull.

TIL: Scripture doesn't mention what takes place between Adam and Eve's expulsion from Eden and the birth of Cain because, well, it just doesn't matter to the story of salvation history the Bible is telling. Still, people like to imagine what might have gone on in the narrative gaps. The Church is fine with such noodling as long as the resulting guesses take into account the living traditions of the Church and don't contradict what is theologically certain. It might also be a good idea to leave out the pterodactyls, at least if you want to be taken seriously.

One Sheet Words of Wisdom: Adam and Eve l(1983) "Had Adam tenderly reproved his wife, and endeavored to lead her to repentance instead of sharing in her guilt, I should be much more ready to accord to man that superiority which he claims." - Sarah Moore Grimke

DAILY CALL SHEET: MARCH 6, 2025

Rasputin the Mad Monk (1966) We begin the story with the already notorious Rasputin as he seems to miraculously heal an innkeeper's wife, after which he immediately seduces the man's daughter. Just giving God some sins worth forgiving, Rasputin claims. After that, the alleged holy man heads for Saint Petersburg where he worms his way into the good graces of the Russian royal family. Nothing good happens after that. Actually, there's very little historical accuracy here, but who cares when you've got Christopher Lee going hard as the hypnotic huckster.

TIL: How did some high ranking members of the Orthodox Church fall for Rasputin's schtick? Didn't any of them read 2 Cor 11 where it says, "For if someone comes and preaches another Jesus than the one we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it well enough… For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, who masquerade as apostles of Christ." You'd think Rasputin's teaching that you could drive out sin with sin would have been a clue something was off.

DAILY CALL SHEET: FEBRUARY 21, 2025

One Million Years B.C. (1966) After Tumak of the dark-haired Rock tribe is exiled to the desert by his father, he hooks up with Loana of the fair-haired Shell tribe. Alas, the pair's Pebbles and Bamm Bamm romance does nothing to cool relations between the two tribes and it looks like war is on the horizon. However, the local volcano may have something to say about things. Completely ahistorical (what fossil records?) and really thin on story, this is mostly remembered these days for Ms. Fuzzy Britches herself, Raquel Welch, running around in a leather bikini while being chased by stop-motion dinosaurs.

TIL: The use of the labels A.D. (anno domini/in the year of the lord) and B.C. (before Christ) started in the year 525 when a monk named Dionysius started utilizing A.D. to count the years since the traditionally recognized birth of Jesus. The Venerable Bede added B.C. to the system in 731 and Charlemagne officially adopted the usage of both labels sometime in the ninth century. The attempts to replace the labels with B.C.E. (before common era) and C.E. (common era) started around 1715 but the new labels have never caught on as much as non-Christians would like. I mean, you still have to explain why it's the common era, so it's really kind of lame.

DAILY CALL SHEET: FEBRUARY 9, 2025

Midnight Offerings (1981) Were you a fan of the old M-TV show Celebrity Deathmatch but were disappointed they never did a Waltons vs. Little House on the Prairie episode? Not to worry, ABC's Movie of the Week has you covered. It's Erin Walton vs. Mary Ingalls as two teen witches dueling to the death (eventually) for the affection of their high school's resident heartthrob. Sure it's silly, but played so dead serious you can't help but just go with it. Who knew such family friendly femmes could be so fatal?

TIL: Making offerings to deities is an ancient cross-cultural thing. However, according to Genesis, the origin of the practice goes back to humanity's beginning with Cain‘s gift of the fruits of the earth to Jehovah. The Catholic Encyclopedia notes, "at the root of all oblations is the idea that God has a claim upon man, his possessions, and the fruits of his labors, and is pleased at receiving an acknowledgment of His sovereignty." That notion remains as part of the small offerings we make these days like fasting, tithing, or charitable actions.

The Monster Walks (1932) An heiress and her fiancé arrive at her ancestral estate only to find (1) everybody there hates her guts because the family's patriarch left her all the money, and (2) her dearly departed dad was conducting weird experiments in the basement. All of that can mean only one thing. You guessed it, there's a homicidal ape loose in the house. Look, I don't know where all these rich people in the 30's and 40's got their apes, but if the glut of old dark house movies from that time period are any indication, every mansion came with at last one. Anyway, this is a lesser effort in the ape in an old dark house subgenre, but if will do if you've already seen the better ones.

TIL: Apes have no religion, but Jane Goodall often wondered if they had some kind of inner life, especially after watching them seemingly contemplate nature with what seemed to be awe and wonder. “Why wouldn’t they also have feelings of some kind of spirituality?” she asked. Alas, Michael Egnor at Mind Matters notes that every study conducted so far indicates, "Apes can’t contemplate spirituality-God, the afterlife, morality, salvation-because they can’t contemplate anything... Abstraction is beyond the reach of animal minds, because abstraction is an immaterial power of the mind, and only humans have immaterial thoughts." That's a shame, because I really wanted to use potential ape spirituality to make a joke about the I'm spiritual but not religious crowd.