Monday, January 26, 2009

CUTAWAYS: THE 2009 VOMITING NUN AWARD

According to Encyclopedia.com, “there are now almost 40 award ceremonies on TV every year, from the Billboard Music Awards and the Screen Actor's Guild Awards to that most demographically resonant of statuette events, the Teen Choice Awards.” But you know, even though it’s pretty crowded out there already, I’ve still kind of wanted to institute an award of my own. It’s just a pop culture kind of thing to do. The trouble is, I didn’t really know what to call it or who to give it to.

Until I saw the following 40 second video clip…

So procreation is behind our economic woes and must be stopped? I think I’ve seen this plot in a few movies over the years. It never ends well. Unless you like the taste of Soylent Green that is?

Poor old Nancy, she just can’t stop herself can she? But her continued returning to the same old well did give me the answer to my awards dilemma. It reminded me of Proverbs 26:11 which tells us, “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool that repeats his folly.” And that, in turn, reminded me of a quick scene from The Amityville Horror (the old, good version) which inexplicably causes me to giggle hysterically every time I see it. I think it’s the over the top acting involved. Irene Dailey, the nice lady who plays Sister Helena in the movie, was actually a well respected stage actress who never managed to land a foothold in Hollywood. Because of that, I suppose, she just had to make the most of whatever little screen time she could grab, and in this clip in particular, she gives it everything she’s got, turning a simple retching scene into an onomatopoeic masterpiece.

So, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, in honor of your incessant habit of appearing on television to trash Catholic teachings while at the same time publicly heralding your own “ardent practicing” of your religion, I hereby bestow upon you the newly minted, entirely un-coveted first annual B-Movie Catechism Vomiting Nun Award. This clip’s for you…

UPDATE

I have been (charitably) called to task by one of my regular readers whose opinion I value over the fact that this post may come across as offensive or disrespectful to those who have chosen the consecrated life. I deeply apologize if that is the case.

The in-movie context of the above clip, for those who may not have seen the film, is that Sister Helena is so overcome with nausea by the atmosphere of evil in her niece's new house that she must flee its presence. It seemed to fit with what I was commenting on here, but I can see where the context isn't communicated in the abbreviated clip I provided. The humor I've always found in the scene has never in any way been related to the fact that the character is a nun, but because the actress seems to have chosen to interpret the scene using a phonetic reading of the script. Every time I watch the movie, that BLAUUUUGH! just knocks me right out of the film and causes me to start giggling. I've never denied there's something wrong with me.

So now I'm torn. Do I take the post down? Do I leave it up with this explanation as an example that I don't work under a charism of infallibility here? What does everyone think?

10 comments:

PaperSmyth said...

Too bad Obama can't "share" the award with her for rescinding the Mexico City Policy!

What? My anti-span word is "spitu." I am not making this up!

Niall Mor said...

Although just about anything Nancy Pelosi says induces that poor nun's reaction in me, I found the clip and the idea of a barfing nun more than a mite distasteful. Most of the nuns I knew were elegant, dignified ladies who would at least wait until they got back to the convent and removed their habits before hurling. Would you please reconsider the name of your award? Thanks!

That is not to say, however, that Speaker Pelosi is not fully deserving of the Catholic equivalent of a Razzie or whatever you decide to call it.

germangreek said...

And yet, whatever came out of Sister Helena's mouth had to be more beautiful than what comes out of Speaker Pelosi's mouth.

"For out of the abundance of the heart does the mouth speak." Nancy Pelosi's mouth bespeaks a heart as black as sin.

EegahInc said...

I've put the following update in the body of the post.

"UPDATE

I have been (charitably) called to task by one of my regular readers whose opinion I value over the fact that this post may come across as offensive or disrespectful to those who have chosen the consecrated life. I deeply apologize if that is the case.

The in-movie context of the above clip, for those who may not have seen the film, is that Sister Helena is so overcome with nausea by the atmosphere of evil in her niece's new house that she must flee its presence. It seemed to fit with what I was commenting on here, but I can see where the context isn't communicated in the abbreviated clip I provided. The humor I've always found in the scene has never in any way been related to the fact that the character is a nun, but because the actress seems to have chosen to interpret the scene using a phonetic reading of the script. Every time I watch the movie, that BLAUUUUGH! just knocks me right out of the film and causes me to start giggling. I've never denied there's something wrong with me.

So now I'm torn. Do I take the post down? Do I leave it up with this explanation as an example that I don't work under a charism of infallibility here? What does everyone think?"

LarryD said...

She is a deserved recipient of the inaugural award - and yes, keep the clip up. The fact that the character is a nun is irrevelant in general. However, I find it very appropriate in that any nun would definitely feel like vomiting when hearing Pelosi spew her rhetoric.

Thumbs up!

(and my capchta word was "explioly", which could mean: "that which is spewed from the mouth")

makemeaspark said...

I am still rolling on the floor laughing my butt off.... thanks for the laugh of the day!

Niall Mor said...

So far it seems I am outvoted by your other readers. Before I decided to post this, I noticed with some amusement that my verification word was "globnic." No doubt several globnics were coming from Sister Helena's mouth during her episode of gastric distress. The current verification word is "praporsi"--that sounds like one of the speaker's relatives :).

Anonymous said...

well my verifaction word is 'sight' but I make no claims of such with this comment ;)

I found the post amusing, but I'm holding out for a better award name

Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

Leave the post up as it currently is.

Not *all* nuns would so react -- ask the Catholic Cavemen about Sr. Joan Chittister, Sr. Mary Pantsuit, and all their ilk.

Anonymous said...

The name doesn't exactly ring, but The "I shall spew them from my mouth" That Means You Award doesn't really ring, either. I'd leave it as is--I think yakking by the side of a deserted highway reflects traditional decorum well enough; I'm sure when she resumes driving, her back won't touch the car seat.

It's too bad early mommies aren't as photo-identifiable as habitted nuns. I have a friend who's retching with "morning" sickness 16 hrs. a day & I think a video clip of her yakking while wearing one of her pro-life t-shirts might be more fitting for this year's winner.
Xena Catolica