Halloween again? Well that came around quick didn’t it? But you won’t hear any complaints around these parts, not with all the monster movie marathons on the tube. Plus, it means we get to offer our annual Halloween costume suggestions based on some of the movies we’ve taken a look at over the past twelve months. (Yes, it’s a bit last minute, but so’s everything else on this blog this year.) Long time readers know that we present this service for those of our fellow Christians who, despite the possibility that Halloween may actually have jack squat to do with paganism, might still feel uncomfortable dressing up in some of the more grotesque fare one can find lining the store shelves.
Of course, I suppose some of our costume suggestions could be considered a bit on the grotesque side also. Take our fist one for example, the severed head from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. All you need is a TV-tray sized cardboard collar, a sheet hanging down from it for a table cloth, a swimming cap to top it all off and, voila, instant decapitated debutante. If you want to add a bit of a biblical touch to it, just throw on a fake beard and call yourself John The Baptist. It’s almost a 100% guarantee that you’ll be the only one at your church’s seasonal Hallowed Be His Name Festival dressed in this ensemble.
Speaking of costumes nobody ever seems to wear when they go go trunk or treating in their church parking lot, what about the devil, or Mr. Boogaloo, as he’s known in The Apple? Oh sure, it’s a questionable choice, but he is right there in the Bible, and who knows, it might be just the jolt someone needs to be reminded that the Church still teaches the reality of what the Catechism calls that “seductive voice, opposed to God… a fallen angel, called Satan or the devil.” Yep, we still believe such an entity exists. Now maybe he doesn’t actually prance around decked out in heavy mascara and a ton of glitter trying to beguile us with his blatantly non-musical singing voice like Mr. Boogaloo… but then again, maybe he does. I wouldn’t put anything past him.
If that’s a bit over the top, but you still want to be weird for the evening, then you can always assemble an ensemble from Voyage Of The Rock Aliens. This outfit modeled by the inimitable ABCD is just one of the many retro-nightmares to be found in the movie. And it should be easy to put together quickly as most Gen-X’ers probably have some old Chess King clothing tucked away in their attics somewhere. If you can get them to admit to it. At any rate, as cheesy as the outfits are in Voyage Of The Rock Aliens, I’d still choose them over any of the Lovecraftian visions of madness to be found at Bad Vestments. View them if you dare!
And, hey, bad liturgical outfits aren’t just for humans anymore. Just in case you want your cat to hate you for eternity, there’s also… the Anti-Pope Cat costume.
After the night’s festivities are over (and you’ve locked the cat out so it doesn’t kill you in your sleep), why not wind down All Hallows Eve with a tour of some of the creepy offerings Now Showing At A Blog Near You.
I haven’t tried it out yet, but for those with an Android phone, there’s a new game/app called Ghosts’n Zombies where you play a monk sent by the Vatican to eliminate demons from an ancient chapel.
And finally, since I’ve taken every opportunity to poop on the movie Legion whenever possible, I suppose it’s only fair to let the director have his say. In an interview with Shock Till You Drop, Scott Stewart explains his mangling of Christian theology by revealing “I was raised Jewish so I was an Old Testament guy with no experience reading Revelations so I read a fundamentalist view, a teaching guide of Revelations. It was nuts.” Sigh. Without even going into what is and is not a fundamentalist, can we just say, Mr. Stewart, that you could have at least spent ten minutes on the freakin’ Internet discovering that the overwhelming majority of Christians don’t hold to scaaary fundamentalist interpretations of Revelation. Which book, by the way, doesn’t have an ‘S’ on the end of its name. Cripes! How many times can I poop on Legion? NOT ENOUGH!
Well, that’s it for this year’s Halloween shindig, see you again next time. Unless, of course, you were unwise enough to invest in that Anti-Pope Cat costume, in which case… good luck. I’ll be sure to light a candle for you in two days when All Souls Day rolls around.