Sunday, February 21, 2016

THE B-LIST: 5 MOVIE REMAKES FOR PRO-CHOICERS

You remember the 2014 abortion comedy Obvious Child, right? No? That’s probably because, despite the mainstream media’s zealous push to make it into a must see event, audiences the world over avoided Obvious Child like the plague. Oh, it still turned a small profit because it’s production budget was lower than a lot of SyFy Channel movies and Planned Parenthood bought up a ton of tickets to give away for free, but by most measurable standards, Obvious Child was a flop.

You know, maybe they took the wrong approach. Maybe they should try remaking some old movies instead. After all, remakes have built-in name recognition (especially amongst foreign audiences), they make investors and shareholders feel secure, and most important, despite some notable clunkers, they tend to make money. So, as a service to our pals in the pro-choice movement, here’s some suggestions for movies they could remake, but with a bit of spin intended to appeal to their particular euphemism-loving sensibilities.

baby on board

Baby Mama

Three Men

Shes Having

Look Whos Talking

There you go, pro-choice movement. You’re welcome.

3 comments:

Xena Catolica said...

Ka-CHING

Scott W. said...

Brilliant. How about one for Schwarzenegger's Junior? Almost forgot that didn't you?

EegahInc said...

Well, I certainly tried to forget it.