DAILY CALL SHEET: FEBRUARY 15, 2026

House of the Dead (2003) A group of college kids late for an island rave bribe gruff Captain Kirk to ferry them there quickly. However, instead of the soiree they were expecting, the kids arrive to find most of their fellow partygoers have been offed by zombies. As the group fights their way to the island's only structure, Kirk reveals the island was once home to an insane 15th century priest excommunicated from the Church for his attempts to create an immortality serum, as well as his penchant for enslaving the souls of the dead. One guess who's waiting for the kids when they reach the house. This is Uwe Boll's first video game adaptation (and amazingly not his last given this one's reception) and he leans into his source material, including on-screen character stat sheets and 360-degree death cut scenes, as well as actual low-res footage from the video game itself. You can't say Boll doesn't try, but you can say he doesn't succeed. At least Clint Howard and Jürgen Prochnow got paid.

Excommunication is pretty rare as the Church prefers pastoral warnings and dialogue first, but there are a number of things which can bring it about latae sententiae ("automatic" or "incurred by the fact itself") such as heresy, apostasy, schism, violence against the Pope, and procuring an abortion. Those things apply to all Catholics, but there are others that apply more directly to just the clergy. These include attempting to confer sacred ordination on a woman, throwing away consecrated Eucharistic species or retaining them for sacrilegious purposes, absolving an accomplice in a sin against chastity, and, particularly heinous, directly violating the sacramental seal of confession. Oddly enough, necromancy, which presumably would include trying to enslave the dead, is not an automatically excommunicable action, but rather ferendae sententiae (after a process), meaning the offending priest in House of the Dead would have had a judicial or administrative proceeding before getting the boot.

Mickey 17 (2025) Driven to desperation by financial woes, meek Mickey Barnes signs up to be an Expendable, someone who does all the dangerous work on other planets with the guarantee that he will be cloned with his memories intact each time he dies a grisly death. Which Mickey does a lot. While helping to colonize the ice world Niflheim, Mickey 17 is left to die at the paws of the planet's resident monsters, the Creepers. The creatures don't devour him, though, choosing instead to unexpectedly show mercy. A confused Mickey 17 returns to the colony, only to discover Mickey 18 has already been printed out. This leads to a rather uncomfortable love triangle, as well as triggering the law that all clones must be destroyed if multiples are ever made. On top of that, the expedition's leader decides that it's past time to destroy all of Mickey's new pals, the Creepers. Can the usually timid Mickey find a way to save himself, his clone, and an entire race of beings? Bong Joon Ho comes up with another darkly humorous winner sure to find its cult following in the coming years.

While Mickey 17 does take a few generalized potshots at religion, criticizing its use as a means of control by colonial capitalists, one can't help but find positive traces of Bong Joon Ho's Catholic upbringing sprinkled throughout the story. It's most evident in the movie's treatment of the subject of human cloning. In the Vatican document Dignitas Personae (Instruction on Certain Bioethical Questions), it warns that by denying the clone the right to be conceived within the secure context of marriage and filial identity tied to two parents, the process risks becoming a form of biological slavery. This is because using clones as a means to an end, even a very arguably good one like they do in Mickey 17, reduces persons to objects or biological material. This is another example of the Church opposing a technological "advancement" not because she's afraid of science, but rather on anthropological and theological principles regarding the sacredness of human life and procreation.