Monday, April 18, 2011


Well, there seems to be quite a few somewhat Christian themed movies coming out this Summer. There’s Priest on May 13 (Which reminds me, have I pooped on Legion this month?) and Suing The Devil on August 26, but before you can see them, you’ll have to make it through this…

Hey, at least they’re not opening it on Good Friday.

Here’s the official synopsis: The film centers around a human cloning project which takes a turn for the worse with only one cloned pregnancy making it to term, a boy named David. Seven years after David's birth, wars, famine and natural disasters of every kind plague the Earth. As Kimberly struggles to survive, her biggest challenge is raising her son. Strange occurrences surrounding the young boy are only becoming worse and more mysterious. Roger, the head researcher of the cloning project returns to reveal that David was cloned from DNA taken from the Shroud of Turin... from the blood of Christ.

Dom dom dommmmm!

Well, this is hardly the first Jesus cloning movie to come down the pike. Revelation (2001) has the clone being produced from blood taken from the nails used in the crucifixion. Of course, they couldn’t just clone Jesus, they also had to splice his cells together with some DNA from a really eeevil billionaire, thereby creating the antichrist. Oh, and the baby is given to the Vatican who presents it to the world as the second coming. Stupid Catholics.

Oh well, we’ll have to wait and see how the Church fares in this one. Of course, it looks like they’re cribbing notes about the end times from the book of Revelation, so it’s more likely the movie will crap all over Left Behind reading evangelicals if it goes the anti-religious route. But maybe it’ll surprise me and not take that well worn path. And really, there could actually be a benefit from all of these books and movies about cloning Jesus. Maybe they’ll finally convince all of the atheists out there that cloning is a bad idea.

The Church, of course, is against cloning no matter where the cells come from. For one thing, as Sr. Terese Auer points out, “The actual cloning process of dividing the embryo so as to produce a new human being is immoral because it opposes the dignity both of human procreation and of the conjugal union.” Any technique, the Catechism explains, which dissociates the sexual act from the procreative act “is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person."

And that kind of domination can only lead to trouble. The simple truth is, cloning would be just another step towards the commoditization of the human person. “A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift.” the Catechism reminds us. “The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."

It’d be great if I’m Not Jesus, Mommy managed to slip these issues into the narrative somehow, but I’m not holding my breath. At this point, I’d settle for just about any movie that didn’t depict Christians as raving lunatics. Well except for another one like Legion, which bypassed any depiction of Christians as nutballs and just made God into a homicidal maniac. I poop on Legion yet again.


belinda said...

“A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift"

Yes, I love that, I would add "And a treasured gift to be accepted never rejected, or destroyed."
You think weird. I like weird. I don't like sinful, but different is fun.

Anonymous said...

Just saw "Solomon and Sheba" (1959) yesterday on our local bad movie channel, presumably because of Passover. I was convinced for a while that Gene Roddenberry had produced it, 'cause there's a Romulan, and the general level of acting and lighting really brought the original Trek to mind. And I mean that in the worst way. Oddly reassuring to know Christians don't have the corner on bad movies, 'though I don't expect it will inspire the B-Movie Yeshiva any time soon.

Xena Catolica

crowleyancanto said...

I don't think this film will be a departure from the stock and trade evil baby coming in the name of Jesus film. But it's probably gonna be good for an old school laugh or two.

Anonymous said...

This is my first time here.

I came for the movie reviews.

I will return for more pooping on Legion.

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I'm the director of the film, Vaughn Juares. I love your blog. We'd be delighted to send a DVD copy of the picture for you to review... you might hate it, you might like it, but either way your article shows me that you deserve to see it.

Without saying too much: The film deals with how man may be able to create flesh, he is not able to create a soul. The story COULD be seen as an anti-religious statement, as the "villian" is a hard-lined Christian fanatic who, of all of those portrayed in the film, is actually the furthest from God... but the loudest preacher. The film is based as closely to the Book of the Apocalypse (as Catholics often refer to it) and that character represents the believers in the false prophet.

Feel free to contact us at and follow up.

Vaughn Juares

EegahInc said...

"But it's probably gonna be good for an old school laugh or two."

I hope so. For some reason, my wife has a thing for evil children movies, so we'll definitely be seeing this.

"I will return for more pooping on Legion."

Then you, my friend, have come to the right place, for I poop on Legion whenever the opportunity arrives. Thanks for dropping by.

"I'm the director of the film, Vaughn Juares."

Hello, Mr. Juares, congratulations on your first film. I believe I read somewhere it took you two years to get it done, so I wish you the best with it. I also really appreciate the comments you took the time to leave. I'll keep them in mind when I'm watching the movie.

Speaking of which, since I don't actually get to go to the theaters too much these days, I may contact you and take you up on your offer for a DVD, although I'd feel better if I got to pay for it. Gotta support the independents.

Verdi Laurent said...

Catholic since the day I was born. I saw the whole movie today. The interesting title made me want to see the DVD. My only comment on the movie is that, it's a quite short movie with very low budget.

But my point is, the whole story is very interesting. The movie is very low on special effects, or even not used it, one that I love from seeing a movie.



EegahInc said...

Thanks for the quick review Verdi. It's still in my "to watch" pile, but I will get to it soon. The "no special effects" thing is no problem for me, and given the reoported budget, probably works in the film's favor.

Anonymous said...

I, a pagan, LOVED Legion! I liked the idea that God got sick of all the shit and decided to end us. Unlike your God, mine have never been known to be so merciful! I liked the idea of someone reminding Him why we are worth loving.

That said, I am not Jesus, Mommy was a decent movie, but a little confusing. I couldn't figure out how he became the anti-Christ and how he ended up with the Devil. Thank you to this blog and the director for shining some light on the subject.

EegahInc said...

Hi, anonymous pagan, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. You know, I haven't run across a movie yet that doesn't have its fans, so I'm not surprised that someone out there loves Legion. If you don't mind, though, I think I'm gonna keep pooping on it for the time being :)

By the way, if you prefer a deity to be scary, I'd suggest looking up what happened to the Amalekites in the Old Testament (which I will be discussing in an upcoming post). "The beginning of wisdom is fear of the LORD" - Proverbs 9:10

As for I'm Not Jesus Mommy, I did get around to watching it and actually liked a lot of it, though I was as confused as you were as to exactly why the kid was the antichrist. The director suggests it's because he had no soul, which would do the trick I suppose, but I'm not sure that was made clear in the movie.

Anonymous said...

This movie scared the shit outta me... 30 year old man having nightmares...

EegahInc said...

Well then, since this is a horror movie, I'd have to say it did its job.