DAILY CALL SHEET: JUNE 1, 2024

 

The First Omen (2024) A young novitiate travels to Rome to take her vows, but soon discovers the order she is joining might not be so holy. As a long time fan of the Omen series, even managing to find some good laughs in Part IV, I was rooting for this one. Unfortunately, despite some strong horror vibes and one outlandish over-the-top gross-out scene tailor-made to send women running from their seats, this ends up being little more than Rosemary's Baby as if written by Dan Brown, and the end result is exactly as stupid as that sounds.

And now, WARNING, I'm going to spoil the Hell (so to speak) out of this movie.

For brevity's sake, let's ignore all the continuity errors the filmmakers introduce in their efforts to change things up and make some lame, easily debunked criticisms of the Catholic Church. The main problem here is that the film seems to have no idea what made the Omen series so popular to begin with.

One of the main appeals of the original Omen movies is the simpleness of their primary conflict. You know, God good, Satan evil, just the basics. But, like far too many current writers, the minds behind The First Omen just can't grasp that concept. Instead, they travel down what has increasingly become the road most taken, which is to make the good guys be the bad guys. I'm past being tired with that concept even when it's done well, and frankly, it's not done that well here.

To wit, the central conceit of this film is that there is a significant portion of the Roman clergy who want to purposely breed an antichrist so he will do bad things and scare people into running back to the Catholic Church. This idea increases in idiocy the more I think about it. Not only does this not gel with what Damien actually does in the original movies as he reaches maturity, but it's a basic misunderstanding of what Satan does according to Catholic theology. The Devil is a tempter; he entices people away from the Church with the promise of pleasures and power. He doesn't frighten them into the pews. It's a moronic plot device, and no amount of style can overcome it.

So, sorry The First Omen, I'm going to have to go against the generally favorable reviews you've been getting. You're just too dumb.

FREEZE FRAMES #016: This week's strange visitor to the deck (we get a lot) turned out to be a White-Marked Tussock Caterpillar. Pretty neat looking.

"To regret the exchange of earthly pleasures for the joys of Heaven, is as if the groveling caterpillar should lament that it must one day quit the nibbled leaf to soar aloft and flutter through the air, roving at will from flower to flower, sipping sweet honey from their cups, or basking in their sunny petals." - Anne Bronte