DAILY CALL SHEET: JULY 14, 2026

Splatter University (1984) Three years after a lunatic escapes from a nearby asylum (didn't anybody put locks on these places in '80s movies), someone murders the sociology teacher at St. Trinian's College. Her replacement, Julie Parker, immediately becomes suspicious of everyone she meets, and for good reason. The creepy wheelchair-bound priest who serves as the school's headmaster is nosy and overbearing, her new boyfriend may have secret ties to the murdered woman, and the matron of her boarding house has Norma Bates written all over her. Then there's the fact that her classroom is full of slovenly degenerates, and that's just the girls. Seriously, every kid in this movie acts like they were written by a hormone-crazed 13-year-old who has never met a college student, but has definite fantasies of what they must be like. Once the classless coeds start getting picked off, it's hard not to root for the killer. Still, even though it's a middling low-tier slasher at best, it's got that locally-flavored regional horror vibe that will appeal to some.

 

One of the problems right off the bat with Splatter university is that there is no St. Trinian for the school in the movie to be named after, not even on the list of the hundreds of Saints who lost their feast days in 1969. That was the year the Church decided to clean things up a little bit by removing from the General Roman Calendar any Saint whose historical existence, details, or legends were questionable based on modern hagiographical and historical scholarship. This didn't mean those Saints were taken out of the Roman Martyrology (the Church's official list of recognized saints and martyrs), just that their feasts  were made optional for the whole Church, leaving them to private veneration and local celebrations. St. Christopher is probably the best example, as his feast is not on the calendar, but most every Catholic still carries a medal with his image on it. Now, it's possible the movie's writers used the name St. Trinian's as an homage to the British comic strip popular in the '50s, but that's suggesting they put some thought into the film.

 

Cool World (1992) Cartoonist Jack Deebs creates a comic called Cool World based on visions he believes to be imaginary, at least until he is sucked into the quite real cartoon dimension where the indecently drawn Holli Would awaits. Holli has discovered that if she can have sex with a human, she can transform into a real girl and escape into our world. For whatever reason, that's the rule. Anyway, detective Frank Harris, another human trapped in Cool World, does his best to prevent this, as such an unlikely coupling would result in the two dimensions merging and animated mayhem usurping the natural order on Earth. One shudders to think what legendary underground animator Ralph Bashki would have done with Cool World if given free reign, but extensive studio interference resulted in this oddly neutered, yet still slightly sleazy take on Roger Rabbit. Waifu pillow guys might love it, but most others will probably find it too cringey. As for Gabriel Byrne, Brad Pitt, and Kim Basinger, they would probably like this erased from their resumes.

 

Although the Church has never directly produced an animated movie, in 1984, the Vatican did get Radiotelevisione Italiana (RAI) to relay a request to famed animator Osamu Tezuka (creator of Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion among others) to see if he would be interested in producing an anime adaptation of the Bible. Hesitant at first because he wasn't a Christian, Tezuka finally agreed after reassurances from the Holy See. Sadly, Tezuka passed away in 1989 before work could be completed, and only 26 episodes covering the Old Testament were released. As Tezuka's death resulted in many episodes being completed by other directors, In the Beginning: Stories from the Bible isn't considered on par with his acknowledged masterpieces, but it's still fondly remembered for its overall artistic value and sincere attempt to bridge cultural differences. One such difference is that some versions of the show contain nudity (Adam & Eve and such), not a huge deal in Japan. Cool World fans shouldn't get too excited, though, as such instances are brief, non-gratuitous, and never eroticized.