Saturday, June 07, 2008

SHORT FEATURE: SCANDAL - THE WARRIOR

Watching the trailer for Ator: The Fighting Eagle, I have to say there's one thing that really sticks out. And I mean LITERALLY sticks out. I'm talking about, of course, that great mass of teased and sprayed glory that is Miles O'Keefe's hair. It's a thing of wonder. But that's how we liked our savages and barbarians in the 1980s, with a giant sword in one hand and a huge can of Aqua Net in the other. As more evidence I offer you this. Now, despite how it looks, this is not the latest video from one of those freaky Call To Action liturgies. No, this is a clip from the rock group Scandal featuring Patty Smyth shooting down the walls of heartache. Bang! Bang!

Speaking of firing off shots, if you ever want to start a holy war without actually resorting to bloodshed, then just log on to any religious discussion forum on the Internet and ask this simple question, "Did Jesus really have long hair?" Oh, the humanity! By the time the smoke clears the electronic landscape will be littered with virtual corpses.

Most of the controversy centers around 1 Corinthians 11:14 in which Paul states that, "Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears his hair long it is a disgrace to him?" That sure makes it sound like all of those old paintings are misleading us, doesn't it? Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. Maybe the image of the Hollywood hippie Jesus is spot on, or maybe he actually looked more like the clean cut Leave It To Beaver Jesus in the text books the Free Will Baptists gave me when I was in middle school.

"Part of the problem in discussing hair length is how long is long?" notes the folks at Catholic Answers. "We know from archeological materials such as Middle Eastern carvings and Egyptian tomb paintings that Jews wore what we would consider today as long hair and beards. Hair reached down to the shoulders on men. Women wore hair down to the waist. Paul was telling Corinthian men that wearing hair down to the waist as women did would be effeminate and contrary to what natural law would suggest, especially considering the physical demands of many first-century male occupations. It is easy for us today to assume the length and cut of a Jewish man’s hair in the first century to be as it is for most men today, but that’s a misconception that can result in our misreading Paul."

Basically, we'll never know for sure what hair style Jesus really wore simply because the Bible never tells us. And I for one am relieved. It's hard enough trying to conform my inner being to the "image" of Jesus without having to do the same with my physical appearance. Can you imagine if Christianity not only involved all that praying and soul-searching, but also included an hour in front of the mirror with a blow dryer and a jar of Dippity Do?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a teenager in the 80's, I thought it was practically child abuse that my parents wouldn't get cable, and I entirely missed the "Golden Age of MTV"--and I had never seen that Scandal video, 'though I remember the song well. First, I'm going to do penance before an icon of Dcn. Ephraim of Syria for watching that on his feast day. Then, I'm going to get my Dad something really, really nice for Father's Day, like maybe a CD of Palestrina or a John C. Wright novel, for saving my teenage brain from the appalling horror.
Xena Catolica

Scott said...

That video looks like the fantasy sequences from Brazil

EegahInc said...

Xena, that's all well and good, but you didn't address the most important issue which was... what did your hair look like back then? :)

scott, I completely missed that, but you're right, he does look like the flying man from Brazil.

Anonymous said...

Ouch!! Short, with liberal amounts of styling mousse, and enhanced color. But very little hairspray was involved. And there was a brief foray into the Annie Lennox look.
And I'm glad you're not my confessor.
Xena Catolica

Wm. said...

I don't want no Fop! I'm a dippity-do man.

Scott said...

"Your eyes touch me physically"

ewwwww.

EegahInc said...

Xena, awwwww cuuuuute :) As for myself, even though I entered highschool in 1980, I stubbornly hung onto my late 70s long hair past my shoulders look until almost 1990. I was not adverse, however, to some 80s style shirts from Chess King or the Merry Go Round.

wm, I had my suspicions, but now we know! (DOM DOM DOMMMMM)

scott, I guess I should have used this video when I reviewed The Crawling Eye.

D. G. D. Davidson said...

*Sigh.* I miss the '80s. That was some lousy Kung fu, though.

Brent Diggs said...

I've always loved that song but I had never seen the video. I found the Mad Max ballet thing to be rather disturbing.

Not enough to ruin the song for me though.

And as much as I find moussing my hair to be a spiritual experience, I'm glad it's not the measure of sanctification.

EegahInc said...

Heyyyy, you know, given all of the old movies turned into Broadway productions lately, their just might be some money in that Mad Max: The Ballet idea. The part of the dog might end up looking a bit like John Candy in Spaceballs, but otherwise...

Mr. Doob said...

Unless my eyes deceive me...isn't this song sung by Gozer from Ghostbusters?

Maybe it's just me....

EegahInc said...

What the...? You're listening to a song and wondering if your eyes are deceiving you?

Is that the along the same lines as "Listen, you smell that?"

Which IS from Ghostbusters now that I think of it.

Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

Wm. was referencing that George Clooney flick set in the 30s, based on the Odessey. I cannot remember the name or be bothered to look up Clooney's filmography on IMDb.

As for me, the most obvious reference in the video was professional wrestler The Ultimate Warrior, whose look was clearly bogarted by Smythe.

EegahInc said...

O Brother, Where Art Thou.

And I think you nailed it on The Ultimate Warrior.