Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Catholic, and all you other Christians at sea. It's not getting any more sane out there in the world of celebrity, but we persevere for your sake. Remember, today's gossip is tomorrow's Bible study. Now off to press.


For those who remember our review of Final Exam: The Novelization, it should come as no surprise that the canon police are at it again, only this time they're keeping a wary eye on The Federation. Samuel K. Sloan, writing for Slice of Sci-Fi, is slightly suspicious of J. J. Abrams upcoming Star Trek film which appears to feature characters from the original series as youngsters during their days at Starfleet Academy. He writes, "I became more concerned about timelines and how this could all come together without violating the sacred Trek canon that any Trek fan holds as near and dear as a sacred holy book." One wonders what a disgruntled ex-Catholic secular humanist like Gene Rodenberry would think of this kind of organized religious tone seeping into his creation? Since the Catechism reminds us "it is also true that God "desires all men to be saved" (1 Tim 2:4), and that for him "all things are possible" (Mt 19:26)." , there's nothing wrong in hoping that one day we get to ask him.


Back on Earth it's time to once again check in with perennial easy target Tom Cruise. CNN reports that eleven people were injured when they fell off the back of a truck during the shooting of Tom's World War II drama Valkyrie. But don't fret or lose sleep worrying over Mr. Cruise. A spokesman for the German police informs us, "We have no findings to suggest anyone famous was involved in the accident." What a relief that only the peons were injured! The Catechism, quoting John Henry Cardinal Newman, reminds us that "wealth is one idol of the day and notoriety is a second... Notoriety, or the making of a noise in the world - it may be called "newspaper fame" - has come to be considered a great good in itself, and a ground of veneration." The Scientology homepage appears to confirm this with the statement, "We instinctively revere the great artist, painter or musician and society as a whole looks upon them as not quite ordinary beings. And they are not. They are a cut above man." Riiiight. In contrast, as Christians, we are called to remember that "created in the image of the one God and equally endowed with rational souls, all men have the same nature and the same origin. Redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ, all are called to participate in the same divine beatitude: all therefore enjoy an equal dignity." Here at The B-Movie Catechism, we believe we'll stick with the teachings which tell us that the eleven people injured in the accident matter just as much to the world as Mr. Cruise.


And finally, the Catechism reminds us that "religious singing by the faithful is to be intelligently fostered so that in devotions and sacred exercises as well as in liturgical services," in conformity with the Church's norms, "the voices of the faithful may be heard." But "the texts intended to be sung must always be in conformity with Catholic doctrine." If only the doctrine of conformity between music and subject matter was also a requirement in marketing. IMDB news sadly informs us that "Superstar Michael Jackson has licensed the use of the Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love" for a series of new advertisements - for a diaper company." Like the Beatles or not, you have to admit that's pretty crappy, literally.

And it's on that off-key note that we draw to a close this week's newsreel. Quoting, as always, the words of the great Les Nessman, "Good day, and may the good news be yours."

This week's Newsreel has been brought to you (no, not really) by: Clergy Girl Dolls, available exclusively at oldlutheran.com

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