Tuesday, December 26, 2017

THE TWELVE CLIPS OF CHRISTMAS - DAY 2: ELVES

Sure, we all know about Santa's elves, how they help make the toys and occasionally practice dentistry on poor helpless Bumbles. But tales of the álfar go back at least as far as Norse mythology where they were portrayed as a lot more than just happy wee folk prancing around in stocking caps. Allegedly, they were magical beings of great power. As such, it was only natural the occultists among the Nazis would take an interest in them. At least, that's what the 1989 movie Elves would have us believe...


Believe it or not, that bit of dialog is one of the least crazy things in the film. Thanks to such utter lunacy, Elves is something of a much watch for fans of Dan Haggerty and/or bad movies, although those two things usually go together more often than not.

Oddly enough, the idea of elves being demonic beings actually goes way, way back. In Jacob Neusner's book Religion, Science, and Magic, it states, "Although originally ambivalent in character, elves were gradually demonized under the influence of Christianity." We see this play out in the story of Beowulf where elves are noted as one of the races that resulted from the mark of Cain. In the English Royal Prayer Book of the late eighth century, the word elf is equated Satan. And in the Canterbury Tales, the Wife of Bath claims the little guys are actually incubi. Of course, everything was about sex for the Wife of Bath, but still, you get the point.

These days, though, thanks mostly to Santa Claus and Tolkien, elves have pretty much been rehabilitated. Now they're considered either happy toy makers or endless fodder for cosplayers. Either way, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone, Nazi or otherwise, who believes sex with an elf would result in the birth of the Antichrist. No Will Farrell jokes, please.

So, for any elves out there who might happen to be reading this, welcome back to the fold. Isusarad ‘elir and idhrin-eden ‘elir!

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