DVR ALERT!!!

As you all know, while I may let on as to whether I enjoyed a particular movie or not, I never go so far as to recommend anyone else actually watch it. Nope, if you’re going to spend time with the same kind of dreck I do, I’d rather you do it of your own volition instead of having me to blame. I’ve got enough to answer for.

That being said, I just noticed that TMC is scheduled to air Carnival Magic tonight at 2:00 AM eastern time. Where they dug up the courage to show this obscure nightmare of a movie, I couldn’t guess, but if you really want to see the kind of flick I seek out on a daily basis, this is it.

A magician raised by Buddhist monks who can hypnotize people with his stare, read minds, and levitate, yet still lives in a dirty trailer behind a carnival? An alcoholic wife abusing lion tamer? A talking monkey who steals cars and tries to commit suicide?

Now THIS is a children’s movie! Seriously, it is. It was rated G and marketed to the kiddie show circuits in the early 80s by director Al Adamson, the cinematic genius who brought us the likes of  Psycho a Go-Go, Horror of the Blood Monsters, and Blazing Stewardesses.

And on top of everything else, it’s often quite dull.

Lord help me, I live for these kinds of movies.

But don’t worry, you don’t have to. Take comfort in the fact that, as Father John A. Hardon wrote in his book The Catholic Catechism, “that each person has his own soul, that each is personally immortal, that each is divinely multiplied by God’s creative act at the time of infusion into the body, and that each is so united with the body it animates that they form together one autonomous, i.e., self-responsible, individual.” So by God’s decree, you are your own person, unique to the world. You don’t have to subject yourself to the kinds of movies I put myself through.

But if you really want to, there’s a perfect one on tonight.